social anxiety in the workplace cant do this anymore

Nobody is judging you, our minds can be cruel to ourselves. It's nervewrecking starting a new job and only day 1 just tell yourself to relax, breathe try and have a sleep and get some fresh air in your lunch break tomorrow. Big hugs to you (( )) 

Hi

I don't feel I can advise you but I felt I wanted to tell you my thoughts when I read your post.

You remind me of me, someone whose self esteem has been shattered.

I feel my self esteem has grown and I am beginning to believe in myself but I remember well those negatives feelings you are experiencing when at work.

I have come to the conclusion that it is about those around you not YOU....We all know when we feel comfortable in someone's company. I have worked with some wonderful friends and colleagues but I also remember those who were so insensitive.

I believe you must put it down to jealousy and competition and you cannot control someone else's actions. In a new job, you would normally be made to feel comfortable and welcome so I feel sad that you do not feel accepted.

By the way, you are not a loser !

Who has the right to judge you as a loser or a winner ?

If you accept yourself and love you for who you are, you should never worry about what anyone else thinks of you.

Believe.....in you.

I wish you many weeks of luck to get you on your way...and some hugs, of course.

Jinny 💝💝💝💝

Thank you for the kind messages the thing is that because im worrying so much about what people think it affects my performance and people think im dopey..then I hate myself more. Its horrible

wish I could just be normal and confident like other people.

And cbt doesnt work and all the doctor ever does is up my medication. Nothing works! I never see it getting better! But I will try and be positive and let you know how I get on (and have a rant from time to time) haha

I have been the same , i had 6/7 weeks off after xmas , and when i returned as lovely as everyone is and most are really good friends , i am convinced ppl talk about me , on the days when i cant stay and go home i know they talk about me , altho im told they don't , theres about 40 of us in my section and i would say only 5 ppl know the full extent to what i suffer the others have heard snippits , and coem to own conclusions, Theres alot in my job role i can't do which management are fine with but i just feel like its not me , i should be the person i was , ready to face anything , ready for a busy hectic manic day , ready to put up with obnoxious customers ... but i just cant . everytime i go to gp they offer to sign me off but i say no , because of gossipers , and also i need to force myself to leave the house, if it wasnt for work / sch runs i would stay in so its good to go to work , Bear with it hunny xxxx youre not alone 

oh and im currently doing cbt too and i find it doesnt take the thinking about stuff problems away , yes it helps with how to control the panic / ways of copingbut not the core of it , in my oppionion anyway  

Hi,

i won't rant and rave at you ! i hope you do not mind ?

But, I am here for you if you need me....

just off to bed so will say goodnight but....before I go....

I just wanted to say..."Wish I could be normal and confident like other people"

question for you.....What would you say if I had said that to you ??

I want to say....What s normal ? and.....confidence you see in other people is just a facade. Inside those people very often you see sadness and low self esteem but they become good at hiding it.

And, as for wishes,....try to think of a wish as being something special, so special that you can only have one or two in a lifetime. That's ho I now view wishes because I am so lucky to have such good people in my life. I now wish for others instead and try to make other peole's dreams come true.

I am still positive, really.

Good night and good luck for tomorrow.

Jinny x

I feel for you.   When you look at your language patterns you use expressions like "everyone", "All day", "Hate", "Loser" and "all the time"  These are the typical words of someone with anxiety.  I see a lot of very anxious people.

I am absolutely sure that you still have social skills left - it just appears that you are being very very hard on yourself.  The key to feeling better is to find ways to take the adrenaline and stress hormones out of your system through exercise and relaxation techniques.  Meditation, Mindfulness and Self hypnosis will almost certainly help.   It is difficult to see how CBT would really  help when you are still feeling very anxious as the anxiety prevents you being receptive.  When you feel a lot more relaxed you will likely feel much more positive as well.    A  skilled therapist could help you to reach a very deep level of relaxation.  I don't know if any of this sounds helpful?

Hi abs, you'll be suprised how supportive people can be! I had a performance review last week and I was 100% sure I was going to get a written warning as I've had a terrible few months with anxiety effecting my work. But my boss was very positive and said she can see potential and we've just got to get me back to where I was. That in itself made me feel so much better. Ive had comments and remarks from co workers don't get me wrong, some are better than others. But you don't even know these people and your judging them as much as they are judging you by assuming they are being negative about you. Realistically probably some will and some won't, in time you will work out which are which. But whatever you do DONT quit. Having a job and a purpose is the only way you will start to get back the skills you've lost and it will take time but try and stick it out at least for a few weeks then re evaluate. Hope it all goes well in the end x

Thanks for replying all! This morning was AWFUL I had a horrible dream that I was being chased and woke hp having a panic attack just before my alarm went off. Every bit of me wanted to stay in bed and just quit but I forced myself in. Been having paliptations all day but it hasn't been too bad altogether. Still feel incompetent at what I do and darent talk to people but it could have gone worse. It's mainly the mornings my anxiety is just out of control.

Think its not been bad because everyone's nice but its always the minute anyone says anything bad about me that I cant handle it and go back to square one. Im glad to hear that some of you have managed to overcome your anxiety and it gives me hope for the future. Im going to keep going to work and treat it as an experiment to see if I start to feel better or worse.

I just hope tomorrow morning is nothing like this morning!!

Hi,

Wide awake so thought I would pop online for a while!

I'm sure you are fast asleep by now.....

No, I am not working at the moment`...I just cannot!

Some days my energy levels are so bad I can just about manage to get showered and dressed. I have ME/CFS and have had for 3 years but it has taken a long time to work things out. My imagination ran riot; I had all sorts of things wrong with me but it was all in my head!!

In the first year, my specialist diagnosed MS so, of course, I thought my world had come crashing down but as time progressed, I just seemed to improve and felt that just maybe, he had got it wrong.

As it played on mind, I decided to go privately and get a second opinion....the next specialist told me I had no signs of MS and none of my records showed that either....the first guy I saw was now on long term sick !!

As you can imagine, I was over the moon at the time but I was told that my fatigue was probably CFS.

I was made redundant from work in 2012 and had worked full time for 30 years so I really missed it  because I never had a bad day...I loved my job....

I did have issues though with staff and, I always confided in people that I felt comfortable with; those I trusted and were good, honest, down to earth people.

How would you feel about talking to your line manager ?

It would be good to share with someone. You really need to know that whatever conversation you have, it would be in confidence.

I worked with young people who had a special need of some kind and always used to remind those I worked with that every young person has an additional need at some point throughout their career; it's unavoidable, and think that is true of all adults.

LIfe never goes as we want it to, there are always peaks and troughs ,,,,,we jsut hope that there are more peaks than troughs

I do plan to go back to work eventually as I am still young !!! but I know from just being off for 3 years and doing a short Xmas p/t job last year, that it won't be easy to socialise again with colleagues but I'll face that when I get to it.

In the meantime, I'm guessing you should focus on your routines, getting to and from work and finding something that's a treat for you at the end of the week !!

Let tomorrow be a good day and focus on all the positives when you get home.

Thinking of you,

Jinny x