Some advice please
Posted , 10 users are following.
For a few years now I have drank wine every evening. I've gone from drinking half a bottle, to a bottle and a half each night. The weight has piled on. Every morning I wake up feeling ashamed of myself. My self esteem is low. The horrendous thing is that I feel good at the time when I'm drinking, and find it hard to imagine not having a drink again. i feel as though I'm caught in a viscious circle and I even question if I can enjoy life without alcohol. I know that sounds awful. I need some help, but don't want to go to my gp.
1 like, 25 replies
vickylou sailawaywithme
Posted
Hi
First off, well done for admitting you've a problem with alcohol and want to do something positive about it. That is often the hard part, so be proud of yourself. You are certainly not alone, just read through some of the posts on this forum.
Alcohol does make us feel better and feel good. Why else would we keep drinking it? Problems seem to disappear, your confidence grows, you feel up to tackling and taking on the world. In other words, its the answer to many problems.
However in reality, this feel good factor is only temporary. Once the effect of the alcohol begins to wear off, the same problems begin to surface again. What also happens is the longer it goes on, the more alcohol is needed to achieve this 'feeling better'. After a while, alcohol starts to take over, your body becomes used to it, and before you know it, alcohol is all that matters and you're actually dependant on it. You've become an AUD sufferer.
You're quite right you are caught in a viscous cycle, but you've actually realised this yourself and want to do something, you're actually asking for help, which is half the battle.
However, the good news is that there is help available, medications you can take to stop you craving alcohol and helps you become abstainant. There is also medication that allow you to drink mindfully and reduce the amount of alcohol you consume.
Unfortunately to access these medications and to get help or counselling, your gp is often your first point of contact. Why don't you want to go to your gp? There are some alcohol recovery centres (ARCs) where you can self refer, just be aware that to prescribe medication is often a battle between GPs and ARCs as to who actually prescribes the medication.
There are many private counsellors you could pay to see, it could be that CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) may help. Personally speaking, you'd probably get more correct and helpful advice from this forum, I've yet to find an excellent counsellor. The thought of enjoying life without alcohol is a common problem and doesn't sound awful at all, it's a very common reaction, but it can be overcome.
I'm sure other members will comment and offer their ideas. Me personally, would start with my gp, see what he/she suggests and take it from there.
Keep posting on here, it's non judgemental, the advice is from first hand experience, and far better than paying a counsellor.
Good luck and ask as many questions as you like
gwen45436 sailawaywithme
Posted
Hi, admitting it is the first step like I did.
I have been able to taper down as, I too, cannot imagine life without it.
I got down from 1-2 bottles a night to 2 small glasses and felt really good.
I do still drink at weekend, as I desperately by then need zzzzzzzzzz's and with two glasses I don't get any. I don't want to go down the sleeping pill route.
I so know that feeling in the morning of anger that I have done it again.
I have slipped a few times now and the old me has decided that Monday is ok to carry on the weekend, then that turns to chuck Tuesday in and then Wednesday and so on.
Then I get cross and feel stupid for lack of willpower and re-boot myself.
I have found the support on here to be priceless and of great help. I did confess to my doc who referred to recovery. But I know that is not my bag so will keep to tapering.
You are certainly not alone with this god dam long winded fight so don't despair.
mike96133 sailawaywithme
Posted
I personally don't use titiles AUD, alcoholic or drunkard. I don't like being categorized or labeled.
I have never taken medication on a consistent basis. Unless you count alcohol as a self medication. I don't even take aspirin...
I went from drinking 1/3 a bottle of vodka 750ml, to a whole bottle a day. This was a period of 8 yrs. I woke up one morning and told myself enough is enough. Alcohol is no longer fun, but a burden. I set my date 1 Jan 17 to quit or tapper back. My goal was to quit/abstain but realized I would have setbacks. Guilt and shame are worthless in quitting! You need to rewire your brain to make alcohol the enemy and not a reward.
I went from drinking everyday, to only drinking 5 times in the last 83 days. 15 days alcohol free as of today.
Search as much as you can to understand your drinking. I've ordered 3-4 different book on the subject.
Quitting is not easy, it takes understanding of the problem, personal education (self distraction during the urge/craving), willpower, and know the internal battle inside you.
I know everyone is different, and may not work for everyone. It is possible to fight this addiction back.
deb87803 sailawaywithme
Posted
If you don't want help from a dr. I believe you can do yourself...start cutting back a glass or two each night only keep that much in the house or leave the place you are at after that...aa meeting will help. Replace your x glasses with lemon water within 5-7 you should be able to stop. This is something YOU want to do if you believe life is better without alcohol then it will not work. Talk to good friend, go for a walk, listen to music keep your mind busy. I know you can do this I wish God speed and love he is your greatest supporter
ADEfree sailawaywithme
Posted
That seems to be the point where a lot of people start wanting to put the brakes on, so good job on reaching out! I'll give you a link to what I used when a friend of mine went to detox and I started to look at my own 12-drink per night addiction:
https://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder
As the article mentions, it's available on the NHS for reducing drinking, but there are also private clinics you can go to if you don't want to talk to your GP about it. The way it works is that you gradually reduce your drinking the way it ramped up, but it only takes months and not years.
There are also mutual support groups around, like AA, SMART Recovery and Moderation Management. No meds involved there, just people getting together online or in meetings to work on quittng (mostly) or cutting back. That might be a good first move, then if that doesn't help you get to your goal, get out the "big guns" and try TSM or some other Medically Assisted Treatment.
gwen45436 ADEfree
Posted
ADE can I ask a question? My doc referred me to Recovery which was SMART. I don't fancy it at all after looking on their site and it is a long drive from me. How would it be of benefit on line? If necessary, I will have a go. These blips are not helping.
Thanx
G.
ADEfree gwen45436
Posted
Gwen, SMART Recovery is another mutual support system that's based on complete abstinence. The problem I see there is that the doctrine of complete abstinence works for about 10% of people with AUD (about 10% are able to remain abstinent for 4 years) and the remainder suffer multiple relapses. You only have to look about you to largely confirm that and even those that spend 10's of thousands for inpatient rehab have the same problem. The all run into and have to battle with the Alcohol Deprivation Effect. They expect relapse and have a "system" to deal with it, which is to "get back on the wagon" and have another go at it. SMART is science-based and uses a form of CBT. AA is faith-based (relies on a "higher power"
. If you can tolerate the relapses, it's certainly a way to go, but as I mentioned, the success rate is rather low and the expected relapses often are both ruinous and discouraging. But if that's all that's available, one simply has gird oneself, get on with it, work with the tools and do the best they can. Additional therapy may increase the odds, but I haven't run across any statistics on that.
That's why I talk about The Sinclair Method so often. TSM requires that you drink and not push away the craving as abstinence based systems do. If you crave, you take the pill, wait an hour and drink slowly and mindfully. The addiction is slowly removed, reverse of the way it got established in the brain in the first place (but it will only take months, not years). The source of the craving is neutralized as the pro-booze bias in the brain is gradually silenced, while the conscious/aware part of the brain rises and takes control.
From my POV whichever one you go with, the odds are overwhelming that you're going to be drinking again. If so, then why not just take the pill an hour before?
ADEfree gwen45436
Posted
The "smiley" at the end of "higher power" was unintended btw. I guess you get that on Patient if you have a quote mark next to a period.
gwen45436 ADEfree
Posted
Appreciate your time and read your posts today and your time in hospital and what was entailed. Boy is that a wake up call.
Truly horrible - very glad you are here to tell us about it.
Thank you again.
ADEfree gwen45436
Posted
That may have been another that was in hospital, I've only been twice. Once to come into the world and once for a broken leg back in my school days. I've managed to avoid them since (knocks on wood) .
gwen45436 ADEfree
Posted
Nat666 gwen45436
Posted
Hi Gwennie I have just come in on these posts. Your drinking sounds like very much like mine was , Sunday's beginning to slip into Mondays and waking up feeling so rubbish with myself. If i was off work i would go on all week ( only evenings ) starting earlier and earlier in the afternoon with the best intention in the world to only have a couple but I never vould once started Since starting TSM in December , that's all changed , I can still have a drink if I choose too although I must admit at this stage it's not very often .. The desire to drink seems to be leaving me . I do still have things I am not sure of with the process
Nat666 gwen45436
Posted
gwen45436 Nat666
Posted
So glad it is working so well for you - you must be really proud xx
ADEfree gwen45436
Posted
"My doc never heard of it and totally not interested ..."
I hear that quite a bit. GPs get little training in addictions and many haven't ever heard of Naltrexone or Selinco. Few know about the NICE guidelines.
If you go to C3Foundation (dot) org and click on "Services" in the menu, there will be an "Information" section and under that, "Local NHS Guidelines". That can give you a bit more info on how to go about things. If you'd like some assistance, click on the Contact link in the menu to get ahold of Joanna, she knows a fair bit about how to proceed. C3 Europe can also provide for the counseling requirement that may be a precondition of being prescribed the medication.
ADEfree Nat666
Posted
What did you want to know, Nat? I'll do my best to answer your question or put you in contact with someone that can.
Nat666 gwen45436
Posted
Hi Gwennie
My GP had never heard of TSM either, he had heard of nalmefene but couldnt precribe . I wished in a way I hadn't gone now, ARC didnt seem interested either ! I expected the support worker ( who I have spokent to twice) to call me with an appointmnent and he hasnt bothered so you know what, I cant be bothered with them either !! I shall keep going it alone and with you guys on here
I was a sad to read some of your story in a post to Sharon hun .. Life is sobloomin tough isnt it and throws so much c***, seems like you have more than your fairt share though hun..Keep on trucking on, I hope you have more good weeks now than the not so good, we allknow its not easy but you wont be beaten hunny
Nat666
Posted
gwen45436 Nat666
Posted
Thanx for that bud - we all can tell a story of sadness and madness - it is life - but no I won't be beaten.
Gx
Nat666 ADEfree
Posted
Hi Ade
I am almost 4 months into TSM now and only taking nalmafene every 7-10days .The side effects seemed to have returned each time making it an unpleasnt experience to have even one drink occasionally. This isn't particulalry what I wanted .The night sweats are horrendous and I wonder if its usual.Anyway the last couple of times I have split the nalmefene tablet in half contrary to whats advised. .The side effects on half a tablet are less ( except for the sweats) but not sure really if I am playing russian roulette doing this.So far I havent felt tempted to drink anymore than when I take the full dose.I have taken this action just so I can continue the process for a bit longer and perhaps considering how I can buy Naltrexone.instead although I beieve this is quite difficult in the UK, Do you think I am taking a big risk taking a lower dose at the moment and have you heard of anyone else doing this
Be glad of any advice
ADEfree Nat666
Posted
The side effects ramping back up is a problem I've seen reported when taking the Nalmefene infrequently (for those that get side effects, as some don't at all).
I understand that it indeed is an issue when you can't take the full dose. I understand that there are clinics in the UK that will write a prescription for Naltrexone, I think C3 Europe will have some information on that. If you don't have Joanna's email address, go to C3Europe (dot) org and click on "Contact" in the menu bar. Many do find Naltrexone much easier to work with and it sounds like it may well be a good move for you at this point.
Nat666 ADEfree
Posted
ADEfree Nat666
Posted
You're quite welcome! Let me know how this turns out for you or if you run into problems. As I recall there's a private clinic in Scotland that will prescribe Naltrexone, others as well. As Nalmefene is only prescribed within a certain range of drinking, if one wants to continue TSM after Nalmefene has done all the "heavy lifting", getting a prescription for Naltrexone seems to be the best way to continue (for a variety of reasons).
I also hear that Naltexone is over the counter in France and Spain, at least. C3 Europe may well have more info on this too, but it sounds like switching over is doable the one way or the other.
Nat666 gwen45436
Posted
I guess so Gwennie.I have my share of sad stories and many many mad stories too leaning on the side of crazy which I never want to repeat LOL.Thank goodness for a bit more of the sober sanity but my kids day I'll always be a teeny bit mad and thats ok 🤣 xx