Something cant let me fall asleep.

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Im 20 years old. This has happened before, so that's why I'm not surprised for facing this problem once more. It happens rarely, it started for the first time like 3 years ago. Exactly when I started my sleeping disorder, not respecting the required sleep hours and going at bed late at night(2-3 am) every day. 

So this is the problem. It's that state when you know you are falling asleep, because you aren't really conscious and start dreaming or seeing different images. But just as im about to fall sleep, i feel something. Idk how to explain its very very abstract. I feel like im being choked and i cant feel my body. I try to move but i cant. I try making very small moves using my body and legs until i eventually break free. If I don't try to break free, then i feel something like my whole body being numb. And idk but everytime i try to let myself go, i think of dying. Idk why but this is the only thought that comes to my mind. Then when i try to fall asleep again, it happens again. And again and again. Last night i couldn't sleep.it happened like 6 times until i eventually fell asleep without realizing it.

Is this some sort of sleep paralysis? I know paralysis happens when you're sleeping and wake up feeling chained in the bed, not before sleep.

Is this because I sleep late?

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3 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Harry,

    This is sleep paralysis. I've had it for more than 50 years and I'm also a former neuro nurse, so I know a bit about it from both sides. I know it's alarming when it first starts and you don't know what's going on, but it's actually completely harmless. I can assure you you won't die. I haven't - well, not so far anyway!wink

    Practically everyone will have a few one-off experiences of sleep paralysis (SP) in their life, but about 5% of the population will get it on a regular basis. The fact that you've been having this for three years now rather suggests that you're one of the 5%, like me. Your age would fit with this too. SP normally starts between the ages of 15 and 25. (I was a relatively late starter at 23.)

    I don't know whether you've already researched this and I don't want to insult your intelligence, but I'll explain the mechanism anyway. We all go through alternating phases of sleep throughout the night - and ditto if we sleep during the day. We alternate between deep, dreamless sleep and dreaming sleep. And everyone dreams, regardless of whether or not they remember it. The dreaming phase is usually known as REM sleep because of the rapid eye movements that can be observed when someone is dreaming.

    During REM sleep the brain secretes a hormone that paralyses all our voluntary muscles, to prevent us from jumping up and acting out our dreams. It doesn't paralyse the muscles of the autonomic system that we need to keep us alive, such as the heart, the breathing muscles, the ability to swallow our saliva etc.

    It's important to realise that we do two kinds of breathing when we're awake. One is the kind controlled by the autonomic nervous system, involving the diaphragm and the abdominal muscles, and this goes on all the time, waking or sleeping. However, when we're awake we can also put our breathing under voluntary control at will, sometimes without really thinking about it. This involves using mainly the muscles that expand our rib cage. If you stop and think about your breathing at any point in the day, you'll usually put it under voluntary control. The same thing happens periodically when you feel you need to take an extra-deep breath.

    Because the voluntary aspect of breathing is out of action during SP, you feel as if you can't breathe at all. After all, if you suddenly get scared, the first thing you do is take a sharp gasp of air, isn't it? In reality, the basic autonomic breathing is still going on underneath all this, so you're not really choking. I know all too well how scary it can be when you can't actively breathe in, but you are actually getting enough air via the autonomic breathing.

    In some people the brain continues to secrete the paralysing hormone after they wake up, or it kicks in before they're completely asleep. The former is more common, as most people don't go into REM (dream) sleep immediately on falling asleep. However, it's not rare for it to start at the onset of sleep. Some people - including me - can get it at both ends of their sleep. In my case it's more likely to affect me towards the end of the night, but it will start as I'm falling asleep if I'm anxious, and especially if I take an afternoon nap or go back to sleep after I've woken in the morning.

    You're right to try and make small movements to try and get out of it, though you'll automatically come out of it after a few seconds anyway, even if you don't do anything. It can last as long as five minutes, but this is very rare - though I know even a few seconds can feel like an hour in this state! I usually try wiggling the tip of my tongue or the last joints of my fingers.

    More important is what you can do to reduce the frequency of episodes - and most regular sufferers find they can do a lot. The main thing is to identify what triggers these episodes. There are as many triggers as there are individuals with SP, but a few common ones are:

    - stress and anxiety, especially anxiety about having another attack;

    - getting too warm in bed, which is my main trigger;

    - sleeping too much - another of my triggers, and I note you mention sleeping late;

    - not getting enough sleep for some people;

    - alcohol or recreational drugs (especially cannabis) in the evening;

    - certain foods - entirely dependent on the individual;

    - over-stimulation, especially screen use, in the hour or so before bed.

    The above list is by no means exhaustive, and you'll need to do your own observations to try and figure out what it is that brings on episodes. This doesn't mean you can avoid SP altogether, but it's possible to reduce the frequency and severity of attacks by avoiding your triggers. The good news is that SP tends to decline with age, though I have to say I didn't notice much change before my late 30s, and I still get a few minor attacks per month even now, in my 70s.

    SP is quite strongly hereditary, by the way, so it might be worth enquiring around in your family. In my case, my father, at least two of his brothers and my grandmother all had it. However, like all hereditary glitches, it always has to start somewhere. The important thing to hold onto is that it's not an illness and it's certainly not dangerous. It's just a very minor brain glitch that you and I share with a significant proportion of the human race.

    I hope this reassures you. If you have any further questions don't hesitate to post again here or send me a private message via this site.

    • Posted

      Wow. I'd like to thank you for the fact that you actually wrote all this and explained it all on detail. It was very helpful and informative. Thanks!

      I think that this happens to me mainly because :

      I sleep very late at night;

      I sleep immediately after I turn off my PC( since i study informatics, plus I work on the internet);

      Anxiety. At all times I am a bit anxious. I mean I always think about the future and what will happen, like: will I pass my exams? Will I achieve my goals within the nexr year etc. Im an overthinking type.

      However, as I mentioned, this happens ONLY JUST before I fall asleep, not during REM. I don't know if you understand, but it's strange. And this prevents my for sleeping for 1-2 hours at the very most. So yesterday I think I fell asleep at about 4am and woke up at 8am since I had my final exam. 

      I've tried several times to identify the causes, trying to remember what I did the day this happens, like did I take a nap? This really affects my sleep. For instance I just woke up after a 2-3 hour sleep in the afternoon. I was really tired from my finals. Let's hope tonight it doesn't strike again 😂

    • Posted

      Hi Harry,

      I note you said in your original post that the paralysis starts "in  that state when you know you are falling asleep, because you aren't really conscious and start dreaming or seeing different images". Well, that's a perfect description of REM sleep kicking in right at the onset of sleep. Why else would you start dreaming before you were sure you were even asleep?

      Although the first stage of night-time sleep is usually a fairly long phase of non-REM sleep, this gets altered when we're in a state of stress or anxiety. You're clearly falling directly into REM sleep as soon as you close your eyes.

      This is absolutely characteristic of stress, and is also a sign of sleep deprival. I used to have exactly the same thing on nights when I slept in my mother's house during the last 10 years of her life. She developed vascular dementia, I was an only child and living 200 miles away from her. I spent a few days at her house every 10 days in those last years. The stress was huge: what was going to happen to her, and what was going to happen to me too? Because she was calling me around 20 times per day when I wasn't with her, and I was constantly having to drop everything and rush away, I was losing one job after another. I was unmarried, with no children of my own, and in my early 50s at the start of that time, so I feared for my own future too if I couldn't earn my living. Total recipe for stress!

      Whenever I slept at her place I used to have exactly the same thing as you - as soon as I started falling asleep I'd go into SP. Every time I shook it off and started to doze off again, it would happen again. This isn't usual for me - I normally have the more classic pattern of waking into SP towards the end of the night. This was the only period in my life when I frequently experienced SP during the process of falling asleep, and it's clearly no coincidence that it was the most stressful period in my life too.

      You're also describing other triggers for SP, as I'm sure you realise: going to sleep very late and working on your PC till the moment you sleep. I'm afraid this will continue if you can't improve your situation one way or another. You're going to have to learn to manage stress and anxiety now that you'll soon be moving into working life, or you'll end up a workaholic and a physical wreck.

      Are you able to find a decent CBT therapist? This is the best, and most durable, treatment for anxiety from whatever cause. However, it's not a magic bullet and requires a lot of hard work from the patient.

      I hate to say this, but the other solution is to take antidepressants, especially the older kind, of the tricyclic group - e.g. amitriptyline or nortriptilyne. These work by suppressing REM sleep altogether, regardless of where it's arising in your cycle. But they don't cure SP, they only suppress it while you're taking them. As soon as you stop, the SP returns (quite apart from having to deal with the withdrawal symptoms, which can be very unpleasant and long-lasting). Incidentally, SP is not a symptom of depression. It's just that suppression of REM sleep is a spin-off of most antidepressants.

      Above all, don't order medications from the internet. If you want to go this route, get a doctor to prescribe them. Apart from the question of not knowing what might be in meds you get on-line (even when they appear to be in the correct packaging) you need to be under medical supervision when taking antidepressants.

      However, the bottom line is that it's better to try and manage your anxiety without resort to medication. Once started, you're likely to have to take them for life.

      Oh, and don't be concerned (or impressed) because I type so much! For the last 10 years of my mother's life, the only work I could hold down was "temping" in the big international law firms in the city where I live. This involved being hooked up to a dictaphone for 10 hours a day typing at top speed, with foul-tempered lawyers constantly screaming at me to go faster and threatening to send me back to the agency. The result of this experience is that I can now touch-type as fast as I can think!cheesygrin

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