Something I found that helps...

Posted , 3 users are following.

As some of you may know, I've been struggling and have been on citalopram for quite a while now. I've had some major lows at times. However, I've found something that helps distract me and lifts my spirits - I also suffer from anxiety issues/mild OCD, and the symptoms of these have decreased as well since I discovered this distraction.

Basically, last week my boyfriend found a baby mouse in the middle of our kitchen, in the middle of the day. We took it in and looked after him - nursing him back to health, spending a lot of time and effort ensuring that he was healthy and happy and warm, well fed, etc. He was absolutely gorgeous - half the size of my thumb, and so tame, he would voluntarily climb onto our hands. Sadly, Frankie (that's what we named him) died on Monday - he had a seizure, and a vet later told us that it sounded like an epileptic seizure, and there was nothing we could have done.

After that, I realised that I needed a pet in my life - something to look after, something small and vulnerable that I could protect, and spend time taming and caring for. So the next day, my boyfriend and I went to a pet shop and bought two baby dwarf hamsters (roborovski). They're brothers, and are about 8/9 weeks old now.

I was really distraught when Frankie died - he'd made me so happy over the few days we had him, and he seemed to really enjoy being with us. I feel happy again, now I have Hamish and Angus (we decided to give them proper Scottish names, since we live in Edinburgh these days!). I've realised that it's great for me to have a pleasant distraction - something beyond uni work and paid work, something I could fully enjoy at all times. I've always adored animals, and I grew up with loads of pets.

So I think that having small pets again has really made a difference to my mood this past week - having other living creatures that rely completely on me, feeling protective over them, putting the effort and energy into slowly gaining their trust and taming them, every day having a purpose that actually gets me out of bed (because, let's face it, however worthwhile my uni work is, the idea of getting up to do an essay, or a massive pile of reading, isn't the most motivational thing ever).

Obviously, I'm still taking my pills. I'm also waiting on an appointment at the student counselling service - I went for an initial appointment, and they're going to try me with psychotherapy and clinical hypnosis to try and help me deal with some things. But I really think having the hamsters, and the mouse before them, has taken away some of my day-to-day despair. They cheer me up, no matter what mood I'm in. They make me feel like I'm not alone, because they're always there.

The only thing is, when it comes to small animals I've always had a bit of a \"once you pop, you just can't stop\" attitude. At the same time as getting the hamsters, I was also in contact with a guy who has some baby mice for sale - and I'm still in contact with him, and still very much considering also buying a couple of mice - I wanted pet mice throughout my childhood, but my dad never let me have them. Rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, even a rat, he was fine with, but not mice.

I'm not alone in taking care of them, so it's not a problem - I can handle taking care of them, I enjoy it. Besides, they don't take a great deal of caring for. Clean the cage once a week, check the food and water each day, get them out at least once a day for a wee run around (we got them an exercise ball each, which they really love!), been handling them a fair bit which has worked out fine so far, they're getting used to us. I wasn't fantastic with pets when I was younger, but I'm an adult now, I have a much greater sense of responsibility, and my boyfriend and I share them, so there's two of us taking on the responsibility.

I'm just a little worried that it's a little TOO crazy of me to suddenly buy two hamsters AND two mice in the same week. Even though I've wanted to do so for such a long time.

But yeah, the general purpose of this rambling message was to let people know of something that I've found has helped me - something completely unrelated to medication, or therapy. It gives me purpose, it gives me joy, it gives me intimacy with another creature even when I can't stand to be around people.

And they're so adorable. They're identical (they're brothers), but we can tell them apart by their personalities - Hamish is the dominant one, much more confident with approaching us when we put our hands in the cage, tends to be more active and pushes his brother around a fair bit. Angus is the quieter, more timid one of the pair, but is also the faster one when it comes to moving. They tend to occupy different areas of the cage, although they generally sleep together.

They're really wonderful. And I'm feeling happy.

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Posted

    Frogerrella-thats good news! Animals are great-and do work as a real worth, plsu you can talk to them tell them your inner most secrets, they just love you back , and dont say anything. Animals are great!!!

    Ok, Im coming to the end of something now. I dont know if you remeber me Tiny tears, but yes, Ive just rang my housing officer, and womans aid. Im going their with the girls at lunchtime. This is no comparison in measures of what this man is capable off, but something just snapped in me today. he was supposed to be going to work( he lied) and it was my eldest that came through and said\"mummy do you know daddy is just golfing\",,,Im supposed to be in Glasgow studying, and I really enjoy my course, but i am not allowed to enjoy anything, not in his book.

    I am a bit pmted and cant say Im feeling over the moon about any if this.Its the kids, I just cry. But do I really want them to live with a psychotic mother because I am too stupid to leave him?

    What e is doing is not as bad as before. but its totaly debilitating, and I cant ask for other peoles help while he does this, as the children are his responsibility and mine, I cant ask for help until i am away from him.

    For the first time in my life, I could say I have a nice enviroment to bring my children up. Weve just had a flat upgrad and the place looks lovely. but then he truns and says soemthing like\"This is my house\"....eh?Really annoys me, so Im getting out...I really dont care if I end up with a kitchen in bits again, I dont care, I want slef disciplene and control back in my life, No god 41 year old man is taking my future away from me and leaving me with a bad tast ein my mouth because my memoeries are so warpedIm scared of what might happen, But not as scared as if I stay put. anyway, I just wanted to ramble. Frogerrella, enjoy your mice and hamsters. i was thinknig about another kitten, but worry in case the older cat eats it!

  • Posted

    You deserve a better life than the one he's giving you - it sounds like he's only making things worse for you. In my opinion, it's not healthy for you to be with him if he's being like that.

    Good luck at the housing officer/womans aid, I really hope they can figure things out for you. I'll be thinking of you xxx

  • Posted

    hi tiny tears r u in glasgow if so im not to far away im in wishaw lanarkshire u should contact the eva project they mite be able to help you
  • Posted

    No-im not in glsagow-i am just supposed to be studying there.

    I managed to w/a-and it was ok-to tell you the truth , nothing new was learnt, except-that Im getting ready to do this-THE BIG DIFFERENCE!

    Im feeling a little down because of it-but think - when i am with my girls and coping-there isnt really a problem-I want them to know that men should not treat them in this way-I know thats hard to distinguish as evryey argument has 2 sides.Im sorry ut someone who knows your history and then uses it to their advantage has insecurity problems themselves-I know that! But I am no longer prepared to accept that this is it-and that I am lucky to have him because I am fat ugly and stupid, i cant accept that-even if I was fat and stupid and so forth, IAM STILL SURE THERED BE SOMETHING I was good at.For my size I am perhaps a little heavy and yes, I dont look my best-probably ahvent since the day I met this guy.Do you know-Ive never had a meal out with im a proper family holiday Im not even allowed a microwave-so no, sorry but even the simple things in life help and hes taken the biskit-to the point of wel, in fact I dont think words are stong enough to desrcibe how I feel. i am sure he will have somesort of dignified explaniation for his behaviour -but I just do not car-not anymore, all I care about are my children, then my cat.

    Ive by noe means had a hard life, I have a great mum , although I do find her controlling, but thtas only as she wants the best for me. My dads good too, just distant. Ive by no means had it bad, but I want out this space, as I want to be able to breathe again, and now I think I can do it, and do you what folks, had I not gone for help, had I not admitted I had a problem , I dont know where id be. i appreciate this site, the turht be known, I know I wil get down in the dumps about everything even once im out, and I know I will sit and thin , I know Ill even worry about him, but I know that....so its time just to get on with it. Its been a 12 year cold that i never realised existed! Even my mum has stated what a pig hes been and wants me and the girls out. Problem though is my solicitor has shut donw our case.Pre Monday..i guess Ill have to find another! I diont credit him anyway! Ok, im going to bed now.take care evreyone, and I am dreaming about whta I can do in my new life.

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