Sometimes I really feel that I'm at my worst.

I think it has been 5-7 months now since I been diagnosed with anxiety and at first it was really hard for me, to stomach the symptoms and the fact that I had a mental disorder. I don't wish that on anyone, life is hard enough. Anyway, its been a while since I made a post too, so hello everyone. It gets a bit much, I maintain my university study, which this is my third year and that's a lot of work. Cause within the whole situation as a student, I have these physical sensations that I get from my anxiety. One are my head sensations, morning is always best for me because they appear in the afternoon and a bit stronger in the evening. My muscle twitches are not as frequent, but occasionally I get them. My eyes often feel dry. Then there are these jolts that I get, where it feels like something ran up my back/neck for at least a second, feels like a wave. I think the most I had were 2. Doesn't happen every day, kind of out of the blue on some days and silent on the others. It targets random parts, so it is not specific. I get short headaches where you feel it radiate on one side of the head and gone after a few minutes. I cried today, I hate the idea that we die, that we are made of bone that is buried beneath our flesh, it scares me I think, that I could die one day. I hate the two others we have after death, to be burnt to ash or to be in a crowded cemetery. Dying with nature, on the surface sounds more appealing. You should know, I been checked out with blood pressure, blood tests, xrays and even a ct brain scan, all came back nominal. I'm not much fan of doctors either. I don't know, I just feel at my worst right now. I get exhausted from being anxious and I hate every bit of it. I want the younger me, who was a lot less weaker and not prone to these physical symptoms. I want to be normal again, for my body to work right.

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