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My day started off well, I'd booked an hours pony trek which has taken me ages to pluck up the courage for. I went and had a great time the first time in ages I felt ok after the anxiety before hand and didn't fall off.
Anyway got home had some up setting news from my son which I cannot go into any further as promised I wouldn't tell anyone. Lost the plot, went to aqua aerobics then bought a bottle of wine and bar of chocolate for my tea, nearly at the bottom of the bottle, cut my arm, haven't taken my meds, talked to the samaritans and still don't feel any better, got an appointment with my manager tomorrow had a talk with the union rep yesterday and it doens't look good, following the report from the psyciatrist Go back to work and put up with feeling sh** and get on with it or wait to see if they decide they cannot support me anymore and get rid of me. got 5 half years to go before my pension if taken early I loose a hell of a lot. Just in a mess, can't think straight anymore except just say f*** you and take it into my own hands which deep down I know isn't the answer. I thought I wasn't doing too bad over the past few days. Then wham back to feeling rubbish.
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