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Today life is pants (putting it politely). Eventually got up, listened to upbeat music even had breakfast then bam, sobbing, screaming, trashed the house, turning over furniture riping up the magazine I was reading, washing all over the kitchen floor wanting to hurt myself so decided to go out, drove within the speed limits to the coast. Sat on the rocks waiting for the tide to come in. The sound of the sea was soooo peaceful and calming no other noise not even sea gulls. i just wanted the sea to take me away. But it didn't the old sensible head kicks in yet again. Home drowning my sorrows with wine I know its not the answer but it numbs the feelings of hopelessness, hatred of myself, the house still looks like a bombs hit it too, Never mind tomorrow is another day could be better or worse!!!!!!!
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