Sort off calmed down maybe not

I'm just thinking, Tina. My own mental health has improved no end since I retired, even though I was out of work for long periods at the end of my career, due to having to look after my mother, who had dementia. In the country where I live, what you earn in your final working years has a disproportionate impact on your state pension, so I'm quite a bit poorer than I would have been if I'd been able to complete my career. But I'm still happier than I was when I was working.

Might you not be better off not having to cope with the stress of your job? If you're a public service employee, I'm guessing you won't lose out massively on your pension. I know you're in crisis right now, but maybe this is an option you should consider. I ended up working - albeit on an on/off basis and in menial jobs - till I was 66, and can honestly say retirement rocks!

Hi Tina, I found you!! Please try and breathe slowly in and out in and out, it may help to calm you down, I can see why you are so raging because its not fair, they put labels on us but dont understand that what they do or say to us can have the side effect like it has, no one understand what you are going through at your place of work, but we understand how you feel, after so many years working for them you would think they would consider you having some time off ie 3 months to get yourself well and healthy again and then go back and if another 3 - 6 months you feel you cant cope then step down, why dont you when you next go in suggest this arrangement but make it so it fits in with you and not what I have just put!  They should really take all of your years of work and see you are not playing games and that you are really not well and they should step back for a while,  why do people want to rush you back otherwise they give you the altermatem (sorry cant spell) which just makes it worse!   Oh I so wish I could give them 5 mins worth of knowing how we feel, then they would understand. I'm sorry you have cut yourself again, I hope its not to deep and you have now calmed down alittle. I'm sorry I didnt know what started you suffering depression it must have been someone who meant alot to you, do they not see that. Im with you I feel outraged what they can do with you, its just not fair. Tina try and have a early night and sleep well (I know you probably wont) and hope tomorrow will be a brighter day. take care thinking of you talk to you tomorrow. x

Night night Tina, drink up and sleep well!!!!!

I'm so sorry that it was your husband, that must be the hardest thing to cope with, I dont know what I would do if my hubby dies before me, I dont think I would make it either......... Have you got children and grandchildren? as they can be a help especially the grandchildren, that is what my daughter always tell me when I am in a very dark place she say come on Mum you love your grandchildren and they wouldnt want you to be this way........ they are only 9 & 6 a big part of my life as I didnt see my own daughter grow up alot as I spent most of it in hospital etc....... but its really do hurt when my daughter says think of them, stay for them........... but with a unreasonable head on you cant see that it just makes you feel more worthless and I think well they would be better off without me, with my sensible head on, I wouldnt want to do it for my hubby, daughter or grandchildren they are my world. Take care, have a good night Tina x

Good Morning Tina, well I hope you havent got a headache!!!!  No Really I hoe you are in a better place this morning than last night? What was it about Stuart Palmer 28 days Rule, might be interesting!!! Anyway I hope today is better than yesterday and will be thinking of you speak soon x

hi Tina, hope you had a good day, sorry I have been out all day we have a friendship club on the 1st Thursday of the month for Church,  all the oldies come and then we have a activity or like today our minister had been to Norway so she showed us all her pictures and told us about Norway sounds amazing!!!! I am voluntee well we all are some are in the catering team who cook a lovely dinner followed by dessert and then we do what ever, I make birthday cards and personize them as much as possible which I really enjoy there was 6 birthdays this month and if they end in a 0 or 5 they get a A5 card and a present, which is lovely.  My cards take my mind off things which is a good way of trying to relax but when I have alot of birthdays etc for my family like this month it was crazy when I had to make the others, but I wouldnt want it any other way, and they all tell me they keep them on there mantlepiece and show everyone who comes to visit them so feel honoured that they love them so much, so yes I had a good day today tomorrow I will be very tired and in alot of pain and probably just watch tv, thats due to the result of having a good day with the lovely oldies who I care for so much, I get so much out of it, listening to there stories from years ago a real delight. I will now say night night and hope you have a good night too.