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Had my appointment with my line manager this morning update on everything went ok, awaiting report from the psychiatrist which I should hopefully discusssing at my apppintment on Friday if they have recieved the request as OHS sent it to the wrong address anyway that;s another story, then saw the new office manager (bit of background the office I work in has had several temp managers over the past year or so, all know of my circumstances I haven't hid anything from them) anyway she starts talking about this report and will await to see what the occupational health service people suggest, then went on about early reitiement due to ill health might be an option if i can't cope with my work, I've worked for the government for 34 odd years and then I get this curve ball thrown at me out of the blue. My sick record has been excellent apart from the past year due to my bereavement now mental issues. I was knocked for six, maybe I've read too much into this until this report but got home very upset went out for a drive nearly crashed my car several times driving down single track roads in the rain. spent ages sitting on the rocks at the beach I tried to kill myself in January (do not feel suicidal at present) just very angry, upset, Got soaked in the rain came home now hit the wine bottle. I'm only 54 for f*** sake I just want to destroy everything myself, house, I just need to calm down but I can't. I f**** hate thses bloody issues that I can't control. I'm trying to breath calmly but its niot working supprised I haven't broke n these keys. Sorry ,,,,,,,,,,,
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