Speech / social anxiety

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Hi

I think I have for a long time had a problem with anything that requires me to perform, especially in front of people.  I have always managed to get out of doing things like this.  Unfortunately my dad recently died and it is up to me to give a eulogy.  My anxiety coupled with my grief at losing my dad is becoming a bit too much for me.

It’s a week before the funeral so I know that from now until then I am in a continual state of anxiety.  I don’t know many people at the funeral as me and my dad didn’t see each other very often, but I loved him and am devastated he is gone.  But I just don’t know how on earth I am going to be in mental shape to perform in front of 100 people, he was very popular.

I am seriously considering turning it down which seems really weak, I am worried about what the family will think of me from that point of view.  I just cant stop my mind racing and it really feels like I am heading for something worse than death.  My dad had to face death with his cancer, so this does make me feel very weak.

I am not generally an anxious person but I avoid things that stress me out, like many social activities.  Is this something I could get help with by next week or would you say it would be better to just not go through the stress and turn down doing the eulogy?

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  • Posted

    I would suggest writing a eulogy and then having a friend who you trust to read it out just in case you don't feel up to it.

    Nobody is going to judge you as being weak at all, its perfectly understandable to be too anxious/upset to do it, I think you would have to be incredibly strong to do it- but definetly not weak for not doing it. This idea that people will think you are weak is just a false belief. 

    So yea my advice would beto write it and ask somebody else to read it out for you, possibly the vicar- that way you can really concentrate on what you want to say and will be able to properly be present during the funeral- you dont want to be worrying about your speech because then you will not be fully present for the service, which you will remember for the rest of your life.

    Good luck with it all.

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  • Posted

    Dear reece,..I am so very sorry for your sad loss.....you must not know which way to turn....

    I agree with Chris's great idea.....there must be someone who you respect and trust to read your eulogy for you....you family will be so proud of you.....never, ever, ever feel that you are a failure in any way..most people are worried about speaking in public...me ...being one of them.....

    I wrote a eulogy for a very good friend....I put in all the happy memories, it was lovely to hear someone read it at the service..... Reece, just write what is in your heart....you father would be so, so, proud of you. Xxx

    I wish you well young man...just remember all the love you had for each other, and special times you all shared together....

    My sincerest wishes to you, I am sure it will be absolutely fine....

    Hugs to you and the rest of your family...take care all...Deirdre xxx

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  • Posted

    I decided to get someone I trust to read my dad's eulogy.  thank you so much for the kind comments. x
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  • Posted

    Dear reece, I am sure that all.will go well, even though it is a very, very sad occasion...hold your head up high for yourself and your father.....I am certain that he would be so pleased and very, very, very proud of you young man...take care of yourself, I send you great big warm hugs..Deirdre xxx
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