Square 1 after a few good days
Posted , 15 users are following.
I think by now everyone is tired of me on this site. I had 3 really good days and nights this week, a tiny bit of underlying anxiety. Then the reverse happened. Instead of being anxious during the day and it lifting around 5, I've become anxious in the evening and sleeping isn't so easy. The other thing I noticed a few of you have mentioned is that choking feeling and loose bm's, and I'm nauseous.... Maybe I'm getting the flu, I'm sure that would be easier to get over. But I am now experiencing both of those. I feel like I'm starting over. In a few days it'll be 4 weeks on 20 mg, I think I see improvement, then something crops up. And on top of it, I'm so sleepy-tired. More so than just the waking up at night. I'm ready to give up on this medicine and go back to name brand Effexor XR.
1 like, 374 replies
Nickie54 tammy76379
Posted
To all you ladies on our blog..first I'm so glad that Tammy shared her story.. I guess I'll share some of mine.. I feel like it's good for one to let go of some of their junk that has brought on their Aniexty and panic..when u look at your story it makes sense how one could have the issues we have..I'm not saying that what I have been through is worse than anyone else but sometimes that is one of our issues .. Not acknowledging our pain.. Pain is pain and it causes us emotional destress.. Which causes Aniexty .. Panic .. Depression and etc. This is going to b hard to type...When I was 9 months old I was in the hospital for 6 months .. I was not held for most of that time for I was in quarantine.. So I was fed .. Bathe and changed thru two openings.. When I finally got better I was took home .. I do not remember anything from my childhood from age 4 to 9.. I was abused durning my childhood years.. At age 12 I lost my grandmother and my almost twin brother we were 13 months apart..6 months later I lost my Dad .. My mother lost it when she lost her mother .. Son and Husband.. That left me totally alone .. When Tammy talked about feeling alone .. I can related to that..from age 12 to 15 was a very horrible time also .. Many things I went through but will not go into ..in 1970 The Good Lord sent me my soul mate .. He was the Love and Security I had never felt or had in my life..The Lord has blest us with 47 years of marriage..a son and a daughter and 6 beautiful Grand Children..What more could I want or need??? To b rid of this GAD.. I can truly say it is a Demon.. That has took so much from me.. But with Lexapro and the help of my Drs. And Theripists .. This to will come to past..I'm Sooo Thankful that I found a Dr. That listened to me and did the saliva test to help find a pill that may really work for me..This web site blog has been a real Blessing..I pray for each of you daily..We will all get better.. and we all need each other because we all know how each of us feel...God Bless You All..😇
lois_ann82830 Nickie54
Posted
Wow Nickie!!!!
So sorry to hear you've been through so much!!!
But am happy that your adult life have been much better!!!
Hang in there, we are here for u?
L
christine32524 Nickie54
Posted
That brought me to tears.. your story... . Your childhood sounded so sad to me and I can only imagine what you have seen and lived through.. but YOU made it through that and you went on to find a beautiful man who is your soul mate. How beautiful is that. Anxiety and Depression are nasty beasts.. they steal everything from you.. your joy, your smile, your LIFE. BUT with help of our doctors, therapists, FRIENDS(which I consider you ladies) and family, WE can get that all back and have the lives we deserve.. I KNOW we can..
Thank you for trusting your story with us.. WE can all beat this.. I know we can.
Xoxoxo
tammy76379 Nickie54
Posted
I'm so glad you shared your life story! And I'm so sorry that you have gone thru what you have had happen to you. No matter what we go thru, you're right, pain is pain! The anxiety and panic brings on the worst thoughts and fears, always irrational. And we know that, but we can't separate our rational brain from our panicked brain. So many of our issues stem from childhood because experiences get hard wired in our brain. And when we're young, our imaginations run wild. We can't articulate what's going on in our heads in a way grown ups would appreciate or understand. Kids are resilient... they'll be okay.... My parents always said (and still do) that I'll always have a broken heart. They're right, everything affects me personally, I take everything to heart.
Somehow we grow up and learn to live with the anxiety until one day, one too many drops in the bucket!!!
In a way, I'm grateful that I've experienced this hell, I think we all feel better when we can help others. I'm so thankful for all of you for having supported me through this!
tammy76379 christine32524
Posted
lois_ann82830 tammy76379
Posted
We absolutely will!
When anxiety first struck me, I didn't know how to cope...was such a shock to my system
Therapy helped with this....helped me to realize I wasn't alone, the anxious, low, negative thoughts aren't real. That my life is still good. It's just that when you look at life through the goggles of anxiety or depression, it colors your world
Going on 7 weeks of 10mg and still experiencing breakthrough anxiety and dysphoria (that feeling of tension, unease, less social, not enjoying much, low appetite, etc)
Might need to up my dose but gonna continue at this dose for the full 8 weeks, +/-a week or 2 more and then decide with my pdoc
I will say though unlike when I initially experienced this mood change, I am now more accepting and know that i will get better, be it time or meds adjustment, things will be ok
Wishing the same for you ladies
L
Erin_from_Calif Nickie54
Posted
Nickie54 tammy76379
Posted
Hello ... My middle grand daughter had her BD party today.. It was a most Enjoyable Day.. Thank You All for the support....It is harder at times but if u have people like you all that know what I'm talking about and how I feel it makes it easier to get through it...Christine hope your OP therapy helps a bunch.. I know durning my 4 hospital stays it was very educational.. You learn a lot but not all you need to know as to how to help yourself.. When I had my Hystorectomy I feel apart and was in for 6 weeks.. Then when I had my accident when a bus plowed into my car again I feel apart.. Then I became dependent to Xanax I had to go in to get off of them .. Then when I was employed at a jewelry store and we were robed at gun point I again feel apart that was my longest hospital stay.. When you have a gun held to your head and the monster holding it is smiling and treats you like a animal that is to much to handle.. I'm sorry I did not mean to go off on my junk... Lois Ann so Happy that your Sweetheart was Sooo Sweet to you.. Don't you just Love those Bed and Breakfast places.. Must have been for Valentines Day surprise.. Tammy Thank You also for your words of encouragement.. It's Soo Special to be a part of this blog.. It makes me feel less crazy in how this GAD and Panic has control of my mind... I always tell my Dr. And Theripists that it's not my Heart.. My Heart is Good it's just my Brain...Thanks again Ladies.. I didn't mean to rattle on.. Hope all have a Very Pleasant remaining weekend.. Love and Prayers to all..😇
lois_ann82830 Nickie54
Posted
Wow, you've really been through it!!!!!!
So sorry to hear😔
Yes,I love B&B....so cozy and comfortable!!!
I had a few unpleasant days since I'm on menses but dealing with it
Just being patient. When I see my pdoc March 13th, we'll discuss bumping me up. Well see
L
Nickie54 lois_ann82830
Posted
Lois Ann.. Yes those hormones can cause lots of aniexty.. One of my Drs. Wants to run a adrenal test on me.. He feels like my adrenal gland may be hung in overdrive.. I'll probably have that done next week.. Sense I've been on 10 mg. I have been ok.. Just this choking issue and feeling weak and shaky of the am.. Could b some of my low blood sugar also of the am.. Who knows?? I just Hope and Pray we all stick together till we all get leveled out.. This is truly a support system like no other.. We truly understand each other's issues for they are a part of us.. Take Care .. Talk Soon.. ?? & 😇
christine32524 Nickie54
Posted
Thank you for sharing your stories with me....
Nickie... I am so sorry all of that happened to you.. no wonder you have anxiety.. those are some scary things.. but you are getting through them.. that’s what matters.
Lois Ann... I swear I get worse right before my period.. my husband has been telling me that for years.
Heading to Cleveland with my girls for a cheer competition. Woke up feeling that awful shortness of breath and panic.. I am now on day 2 of taking my 10 on Lexapro.. just praying to get through today so my girls can have a nice day.. I haven’t been the most together mother lately..
Wishing all of you a wonderful Sunday.
Xoxoxo
lois_ann82830 Nickie54
Posted
When my anxiety started, I had a medical work up including thyroid tests, eeg rule out seizures as certain kind of seizures can cause anxiety and I was also ruled out for pheochromocytoma which is a lesion on the adrenal glands which can release stress hormones, like cortisol which can cause anxiety. All my tests were normal so i know its nothing medical
Not quite sure what my diagnosis is....whether it's nonspecific anxiety, anxiety/depression mix, mild depression or pmdd. I just know my main symptom is anxiety and at times I get this dysphoric (opposite of euphoric) mood like I'm not enjoying things, less social and decreased appetite
Such a mystery because my life couldn't be better. I'm happy with work, boyfriend, money, friends, no stressors expect for this mood thing. That's why therapy alone didn't work for me....as cant link mood to anything in my life and I'm not a worrier so GAD didn't fit
Anyway, yes we will keep in touch until we all get better😊
L
Nickie54 christine32524
Posted
Christine just keep telling yourself there is nothing wrong with me other than the panic and aniexty and if it happens it will go away ..I have been here b4 and it always goes away.. Keep telling yourself that and the more u tell yourself that the more your brain will start believing it.. You have FUN with your girls.. And know that us ladies on this blog even tho we may not meet this side of Heaven we know each other through Our Tears.. Fears...Emotions and Our Small Victories..We have a pack that we will b here for each other.. I'll b Praying for you.. Stay In Touch.. Talk Soon
Nickie54 lois_ann82830
Posted
Lois Ann... Isn't it weird how our bodies are made the same but our DNA works soooo different..my OBGYN ran a whole panel of test most came back in normal range.. She then sent me to a specialist he then ran more test except the one on adrenal.. So I think I'll do that test next week.. U take 2 steroid pills at 11 pm and they draw your blood the next morning..I always had bad pms. with aniexty and panic just like u r talking about.. I had real bad endometriosis that had spread all over my lower part of my organs that's why I had Hystorectomy at age 36.. I then took hormone until I was 54 then the aniexty and panic was even greater.. About 5 years ago I started on some PROGESTA Care Complete Cream you can buy at our local Green Market.. It worked well until about 4 months ago when a lady from our church passed away and a good friend had a stroke.. Then I could not separate my emotions from them it was like I was loosing a family member all over again..and like I was going to b the next to go.. Now here me out this is my mind and emotions telling me this .. Not my Heart.. My Heart is ok.. I'm not afraid to die .. It's just my brain makes me relive the fear and panic that I went through when my Loved ones passed away when I was Soo young..with that said why can't I read what I'm saying and it b gone.. The panic and aniexty.. Because it is my mind that is making me have aniexty and Panic not my Heart.. Even sense I had my Hystorectomy I still go through a cycle every month..I sometimes have energy ..and when I have energy my heart rate is always higher.. When I have 0 energy my heart rate is low.. But my Dr. Said that when u have panic and aniexty you can have low pulse and high pulse.. No energy and high energy .. So I guess that is the take on that...We are Sooo Mysterious as to how we r created..today marks the 9th day of 10 mg. I hate to even comment on how I feel I don't want to jinks it but that in itself is my mind playing tricks on me.. I'm doing better each day .. So I know the meds r doing something positive..You Take Care and Stay In Touch.. 💞 & 😇
christine32524 Nickie54
Posted
Just wanted to check-in with everyone and see how you are doing... I am hanging in there.. got a call from my outpatient therapy today so I am going to get that started soon.. i’m Excited.. I did go back to work today and managed to stay the full day so that gave me some hope..
Hope you all had a good Monday.
Xoxoxo
tammy76379 christine32524
Posted
Hi!!! That's all great news!!! One day at a time and moving in the right direction! Be patient with yourself, with your treatment and your meds. You're going to get better!!👍😊
Nickie54 christine32524
Posted
Wonderful News Christine.. Work Hard in Therapy..Take Care .. Keep updated..🤗..💞 And 😇
Nickie54 tammy76379
Posted
Tammy... How r u doing on your effexor..? I making it 1 day at a time...giving myself through the weekend to see if more progress is made... Unknown at this point..🤗💞😇 keep us updated..
christine32524 Nickie54
Posted
My anxiety and panic were back this morning so I was disappointed. Was late getting to work today and just hoping to make it the full day.. it’s 73 here today in Pittsburgh so i’m Sitting outside right now enjoying the sunshine. I start my therapy on Monday so that’s another positive step..
Hope you ladies enjoy your day.. stay positive. ❤️
lois_ann82830 christine32524
Posted
Chris, remind me what meds you're on
L
christine32524 lois_ann82830
Posted
Nickie54 christine32524
Posted
Christine.. Yes I did the same thing but it will become lesser and lesser but mine now is somewhat different.. Idk why but it is.. I trying to think positive and think it's probably meds. Trying to kick in.. Praying that's so.. Take Care and praying u make it all day at work but if not .. Don't fret.. Sending Lots of 🤗💞😇...
Nickie54 christine32524
Posted
Christine... We All Have Those Moments...😩😢😳. It will all change .. We just need to give it time....
lois_ann82830 christine32524
Posted
I think we've all been there honey
You're very early into the lexapro though and ssris can take a 8-12 weeks for full effect
We are strong enough to pull through and light is at the end of the tunnel
Klonopin is great to help u get through until meds kick in
It works fast and is long acting, I use it only when absolutely necessary...not addicted and use it for the purpose it's intended
We will get through...one day at a time
L
tammy76379 Nickie54
Posted
Ehhhh, okay. Today not so much. Have been waking up with anxiety the last few days. Today, it hasn't left me. It's not debilitating, but still uncomfortable.
(I'm starting to get confused... There are so many responses on this thread. )
lois_ann82830 tammy76379
Posted
L
tammy76379 lois_ann82830
Posted
Today is turning out to be not such a good day. Lots of anxiety. I'm crying a lot, too. I know it's going to take time to feel myself again, it's so defeating after a good stretch. I thought I was in the clear. I think I'm so desperate to be well again. The other thing that is really bothering me is that I'm not babysitting my newest granddaughter. I did for her older sister my first granddaughter, but my anxiety got in the way and I stopped. My son and daughter in law kinda understand, but I can barely understand it, how do I explain. And it's making me so sad that I'm not getting the pictures I did with my first granddaughter, and I'm missing that bonding. Last week I thought I was ready to commit to every other Wednesday at least, today, it seems impossible. I'm just really sad about it.
lois_ann82830 tammy76379
Posted
I'm soooooo sorry Tammy!
I've been there....not wanting to socialize because of how I was feeling
Listen take care of you! Your family is going to have to understand that you are going through something and will have to be patient
This won't last forever Tammy but take all the time you need!!!!
I feel that my anxiety is gradually getting better, not where I wanna be yet but better than I was prior to lexapro....
It will get better!!!!
We are here for u...
L
tammy76379 lois_ann82830
Posted
I'm so thankful we all understand each other. I know it'll get better. Just an off day.... I'm sure there will be more, but I can get through it. Heck, compared to a few short months ago, this is nothing, I guess. Uggg. Well, I'm going to eat some leftover chicken, husband has dinner meeting, daughter is meeting friends. Just me and the dog tonight. Thanks for listening Lois. Having support like you, Nickie and Christine mean so much to my recovery! So thankful that I found you ladies on this site.
lois_ann82830 tammy76379
Posted
L
Nickie54 tammy76379
Posted
Tammy... I hear u on the grand daughters.. I care for our grand children but my husband helps me with them.. If it were not for him I could not do it... It in itself is stressful it has nothing to do with u Loving them it has to do with u r not strong enough right now to handle it.. But later u will b able to do it ... Just give yourself time...Right now u take care of u... and Im Soooo Sorry u r having a Bad Day... There is always tomorrow..🤗💞😇...
Nickie54 tammy76379
Posted
Don't let your mind get confused by our postings.. It's just because we r answering each other .. It will b ok... So much insight as to how we r getting better each day.. U hang in there we r all going to Beat This Aniexty and Panic TOGETHER.. 🤗💞😇
christine32524 tammy76379
Posted
I am so sorry you are having a tough day.. I had one myself today too.. Remember it’s just a day and before anxiety we had bad days too... just realize we are going to have these days and as we get better we are going to have less and less of them..
We are going to get through this... all of us together ❤️
Nickie54 christine32524
Posted
Hello Ladies... I'm not going to try and answer to all of u because like Tammy said its getting a little confusing in the blog.. so I'm going to start addressing my post to all of u... Thank You Christine for the ideal of referring to us all as ..Hello Ladies...1st question ? Why ..Why.. Why... Do I feel like I'm going a little in reverse? I'm Soooo Done with this roller coaster..but as all of us have said... It Takes Time ... But what makes the difference from day to day ..? We r taking the same drug and the same amount .. Soooooo Why such a difference in our days...? This am I'm feel weak..I have Aniexty...just not a very good morning .. But I'm a fighter and I'll get through this day.. I'm praying it goes away around noon like it has Soo many times b4...We got ice last evening and durning the night.. The tress are soooo very heavy they look like I feel.. Bending with a large load to bear.. But most will not break for when the warming begins.. They will shed the excess weight and feel like themselves again.. Ladies know you all are in my Thoughts and Prayers as u all going about your busy day..🤗💞😇 Talk Soon
lois_ann82830 Nickie54
Posted
Ladies,
The difference in our days while on the same meds/dose demonstrates the difference in us individually
We are all different, different genetic makeup, chemistry profile, circumstances, upbringing, issues, etc so no, we won't all have the same reaction at the same time, etc
While we are here for each other, we have to understand that we are all different as well and will respond to meds differently
L
Nickie54 lois_ann82830
Posted
Nickie54
Posted
I 4 got to say ..Hello Ladies in my last post .. Sorry... I'm just having a off day.. I misplaced something and had a panic attack trying to find it... What is that all about??? I call that a control issue but it's much deeper than that..is anyone having brain fog r forgetfulness with Lexapro ?? Lois Ann any feed back to that.. 😩
lois_ann82830 Nickie54
Posted
Yes, its very much like a roller coaster....on and off days, good and bad days, anxious one day, low the next....
I had anxious days during my menses, today is last day and feeling much better today....
I suppose that is normal until meds kick in
We have our own individual journey but will serve as a support for each other😊
L
lois_ann82830 Nickie54
Posted
No, no brain fog or memory issues at all
My only side effects was headache first 2 days
Probably just your anxiety and as you know lexapro can rev up your anxiety early on
This will pass
L
Nickie54 lois_ann82830
Posted
I’m Praying it does..😩