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Starting my own thread on advice from RHGB

Posted , 9 users are following.

sharon07214
sharon07214

Hi everyone.

Well done Missy, one step at a time I guess.

You all sound so helpful that I think I will ask for help here. I want to give up drinking alcohol. I do for 4/5 days and then I convince myself that this time I'll be able to control it better and of course don't.

Alcohol is beginning to leVe me feeling low the next day.

I haven't had any today but I need to keep off it and would love to hear how anyone else has managed to do this?

I want to try and do it without mess, if possible.

Hope to hear from you.

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1 like, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • RHGB
    RHGB sharon07214

    Posted

    A few more details would help. Age, how long have you been drinking, how much (be honest) and what you really want to achieve.

    Reading between the lines, I don't think you want to give up, you just want to be able to control it and that sort of thing will guide people on what advice to give you.

    You're not alcohol dependent, because you can go nearly a week without it.

    You sound like a binge drinker, one that doesn't use it to control stress or anxierty, but merely likes going out on the lash at the weekend or special occasions - correct me if I have it wrong.

    As for being/feeling low, alcohol is a depressive. It is never well explained, and people get confused with it and say, I don't get depressed when I drink, I get really happy. Unfortunately your brain gets used to that happy state and when the effect wears off, your brain feels depressed because it is now no longer in that happy state.

    Your drinking isn't heavy or regular enough to need a detox, so the medications options are; Abstinence, with the aid of Campral, which is an anti-craving drug, but I don't think this would be right for you. Then there is nalmefene/naltrexone (same thing for all intents and purposes), which is a medication that you take before you drink, only on days you intend to drink.

    It's a bit more complex than this (I'm sure someone else will give the full explanation), but basically it tones down the hit/buzz you get from alcohol, so you don't go quite so mad at it and take it easy. It allows you to drink, without that impulse of 'I must drink 'til I collapse or can't remember anything'.

    That will do for now, there will be plenty of other answers.

  • Sober_As
    Sober_As sharon07214

    Posted

    Hello Sharon,

    Your problem with alcohol is different to mine.  I don't know how much help I can be to you, but I will try.  If you can go 4 or 5 days without alcohol, then I think that means you are NOT ALCOHOL DEPENDENT.

    Does your problem cause lack of control of the amount you drink ?  If so, maybe limiting the amount of alcohol available at each 'session', would help you to reduce, bit by bit, therefore regaining control.

    Have you discussed your problem with your G.P.?

    I am on Day 5 Alcohol-Free.  I have been taking Selincro/Nalmefene for about 9 weeks.  This medication has been a life-saver to me.  I now feel able to try to be SOBER.  I have not gone this long without alcohol, in 3 years.

    I don't know how much you drink at each 'session'. Perhaps the amount is excessive... causing the low feelings afterwards.

    Anyway, I wish you well with your battle to "Beat the Booze" !

    You have already made a great start.  You have realised that you have a problem with your drinking and you are asking for help.

    Blessings, my friend.

    Alonangel 🎇

  • sharon07214
    sharon07214

    Posted

    Hi, I am 55 years old. I didn't drink when I was young..really didn't start until my late 40's. It started by wanting 'to fit in with colleagues' after work after my youngest started secondary school. Somehow it escalated quite quickly and I had some pretty bad episodes when I was sick etc. Absolutely appalling at my age. I also said very unkind things to my family and my youngest finds it hard to accept me now.

    More recently I haven't 'let it get that bad' but I dont seem able to stop at 1 or 2 or 3 large glasses of wine. I will then by a bottle to drink 'secretly' at home because for obvious reasons the family don't like me drinking.

    Yes I brings drink to alleviate anxiety, stress and to feel good for a while. Ironic I know as I do feel healthier when I'm off it.

    Hope you can advise me in some way. I used to have such strong will power but no more.

    i DO use it as a stress reliever. The major stress has gone hence the 'cutting' back. I also suffer from depression and so it lifts my spirits (yes I know only temporarily!).

    Ideally I would like to cut back but I think my realistic option is to give up completely as I know it is not good for my health. I also know I will feel stronger in myself and become to like myself again. More importantly gain the trust of my family again.

    • Joanna-SMUKLtd
      Joanna-SMUKLtd sharon07214

      Posted

      Hi Sharon,

      Not sure I can offer much advice because I couldn't either stop or cut back on my own, and goodness knows I tried and tried and tried.

      The only real thought I might be able to help you with is to say that since I've been recovered, I have realised that I was previously tackling it all wrong.

      My life is now currently full of fun and exciting things.  My family and my interests are SO important to me now.

      So.... maybe the best suggestion I can offer you is that staying abstinent from alcohol MAYBE isn't so much about not drinking, but perhaps it's more about having other things to do.

      It seems to me that everything seems to be so focused on not drinking, not picking up that first drink, that it paradoxically makes alcohol, or not drinking to be specfic, such a huge focus of someone's day.

      This is why i am always suggesting to others that if someone wants something to change, then they have to step outside their comfort zone and actually change something.  No matter how small, something has to be changed otherwise the usual habits, or thoughts, will keep driving someone crazy.  Once something is changed, then it gives a bit of leverage to chipping away at the behaviour that you want to change.

      We all know how days fly by when we are interested in something else!  But we seem to put all out energy into NOT drinking, so much so that the days drag, the brain fixates on it and then the almost inevetible picking up of a drink happens again.

       

    • Joanna-SMUKLtd
      Joanna-SMUKLtd Robin2015

      Posted

      Thank you, Robin and Misssy.

      I guess it's a perfect example of how frustrating our condition is in that these glimpses of explanation only seem to happen once the alcohol is cleared our the brain for a while neutral

  • sharon07214
    sharon07214

    Posted

    That makes sense/ish. I know it is part of the issue I guess, however even when I was super busy I was bad! However it was a very stressful situation to say the least.

    I Will give it some serious consideration! Food for thought.

    • Joanna-SMUKLtd
      Joanna-SMUKLtd sharon07214

      Posted

      Also, please do bear in mind that every time you repeat the behaviour of drinking, the pathways in your brain are getting stronger and stronger.  It is reinforcing this behaviour as being the 'right' thing to do.  This is basically how we learn of course.

      But each time, your brain needs more alcohol to get the same effect of 'peace', for want of a better word.  This is why you find you cannot stop at 1, or 2, oe 3, and why you feel the need to have a bottle at home just in case your brain starts to feel the need as the wine from the first few wear off.

      Even back in 1956, the American Medical Association recognised that this was an illness, characterised by altered brain structure and function.

      This cannot, in my opinion and my own experience, be beaten by willpower alone if it has been reinforced too often, for too long.

      If you feel you need them to help you and to give you a foot up on the step to help (as Alonangel correctly pointed out has helped her, too) please do not discount the use of medication to help you.  You hopefully wouldn't hesitate to get medical help if you had any other illness that you just couldn't shift, no matter what you tried.

      I wish you lots of hope that you will find the solution that works for YOU. biggrin

    • ADEfree
      ADEfree sharon07214

      Posted

      Hi Sharon! I think if you want to get a handle on this, one way or the other it can certainly be done. RHGB mentions a medication that Alonangel and I use, it's taken only on drinking days and it helps your brain "unlearn" the compulsion to drink. I've beeen a daily drinker for 30+ years and have cut back by over 75% just by taking the med an hour before I drink. It's non-addictive, so no worries there, and it works for daily drinkers and bingers alike. 

      You mention that you can go 4 or 5 days without, how long do your binges last? Do you black out when you drink?

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 sharon07214

      Posted

      food literally is another important factor...Eat and cravings subside.
  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 sharon07214

    Posted

    sharon...if you can get 4 days...keep going...and try to win from this affliction...take vitamins.eat and sleep well, PUT you as #1 and that is so important....you have to be #1..
    • Misssy2
      Misssy2

      Posted

      lol..I said food is an important factor...keep eating feelings subside...why moderated who knows.

       

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