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Starting this long Journey

Posted , 7 users are following.

tracey22742
tracey22742

I am a 57 year old male who has been drinking steady for most of my adult life. I have made the decision to stop as I would binge drink to blackout on many occations and the pain and suffering from the hangovers were epic at times. I have managed to raise 4 kids but went through 2 wives in the proccess. I am at the beginning ...2 days and have seen my doctor to deal with the shakes,loss of appitite, insomnia, sweats, fear, anxiety, etc. I am on Celexa 20 for depression  and Lorazepam 1mg. I have so much guilt which surfaces when not drinking....not sure where it comes from...will be seeking to talk with AA support group soon as I know I am not alone in this struggle....I find your brain is the enemy as I have stopped many times on my own...but not for long as your brain will trick you to have that first drink again..and again ..I am determined to do this for ME this time as alcohol has become the worst enemy I have ever had!!!! 

1 like, 18 replies

18 Replies

  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 tracey22742

    Posted

    Hi..I know from experience the first couple of days when I initially stop drinking..I always get debilitating anxiety and feel like something awful is going to happen and that I am awful...once I get by 3 or 4 days..the anxiety lessens dramtically but still remains for up to a month..but not at the LEVEL it is at in those first couple of days....

    This will pass..please give yourself some time before giving in to a drink.

    It sounds like you are prepared to try...you saw the Dr...you are on mediction...you posted about your problem...sounds like you are on the right track.

    I hope these painful moments pass quickly for you.

    • tracey22742
      tracey22742 Misssy2

      Posted

      Hi. Thankyou so much for your reply....I realize there is a definite emontional aspect which needs to be managed as well...I truly want to succeed as Im liking myself less and less as I continued on this path with alcohol. I am now going through the brutal initial detox stage and its freaking scary but I want this bad enough and know in my heart it will be worth it  Thanks again

       

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 tracey22742

      Posted

      you can do this tracey..I have done it many times..and it is the most grueling torture....But, once you get thru it...you will never have to go thru it again.

      Get lots of rest, fluids...gatorade if you can..eat soup...chew gum, eat chocolate..anything BUT drink.

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 tracey22742

    Posted

    Hi tracey....well done for abstaining from alcohol....I know how difficult it is....I was sectioned four times....overdosed twice....picked up by the police unconscious in a park....ran away, the police and loads of people searching for me.....

    Luckily, I managed to stop after my final section, I had so much help at home with a equalised worker who looked after me for three years....

    It changed my life, and yours will too....you will feel healthy, have an appetite once more, and most importantly.....!!! YOU WILL LIKE YOURSELF AGAIN....

    Also, please, please remember, if you do slip....it is not !!!!

    The end of the world......just pick yourself up...and carry on....never..ever..ever...give up...giving up.....

    I so wish you, health, happiness, peace of mind....self respect...and a wonderful, amazing future...

    Be VERY,VERY PROUD OF YOURSELF ..XXXX

    Respect, and very warm and sincere hugs for you..always....take care and have a wonderful future, for yourself

    XXX and your family xxx dee xxx

    • tracey22742
      tracey22742 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Thankyou for your supportive message...it really does help alot...scary stuff this alcohol...brutally smooth liar !!!
  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 tracey22742

    Posted

    Hi...that obviously should have read.....specialised alcohol worker....also my husband, brother, twin sister, GP, psychiatrist, CPN

    my husband and my three wonderful sons and beautiful daughter were always there for me every step of the way....

    Tell your family and close friends what you are doing, they will be there for you....hugs xxxxxx

    • tracey22742
      tracey22742 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Yes ...I have so far shared this with my mom and sister and they are being really supportive. Thanks

       

    • tracey22742
      tracey22742 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Hi, On day three and feel like a train has run over me...I was able to sleep last night but the anxiety and shackes with NO appitite remains strong. I still have this feeling of impending doom which follows you around like a ghost...hate it. One day at a time I am told.... I am so blessed to have family support as I could not imagine this without it...bad very bad.
  • numpty
    numpty tracey22742

    Posted

    I can really empathize with you. I believe the guilt we feel when free of drink is actually always with us we just choose to drink to numb it. I hope you beat your (our) enemy
    • tracey22742
      tracey22742 numpty

      Posted

      Its an epic battle and only on day 3 but one day at a time right Thanks
  • Carolyn431
    Carolyn431 tracey22742

    Posted

    Can you not access any support groups where you live not aa though? They dont help you come off it. Ive been involved with an organisation in my city and was eventually given home detox through them. It lasted nine days and other than tiredness no nasty side effects. Havent wanted a drink since, on campral which helps cravings you get this after detox. I dont think gps know enough about alcohol issues... mine were no help, its early days for me but i know how awful it is, i was really bad
    • tracey22742
      tracey22742 Carolyn431

      Posted

      Evening of the 4th day and some symptoms weakning ...slept 5 hours last night without dreams or sweats like wow...went for a kilometer walk today and hope I can sleep...still alot of anxiety but better...thanks for the response and hope you are managing ok...Ive been told "The past is the lesson....the future a gift...life is right now ...this second !!! makes sense to me Thanks

  • hope4cure
    hope4cure tracey22742

    Posted

    Your mindset is on the right track. Congratulations to making the best decision in your life.

    You can do this with help. there are many meds to block the cravings see the info on this forum about the types available. They help prevent relapses.

    Far more successful than any other method. Counseling, meds and structure to avoid triggers.mthe brain is hijacked. You have been there a long time, it's not a easy life or a life anyone chooses. See your dr find a good councelor and get away from the friends and triggers that set you off. 

     I tell you, breaking free of addiciton takes every tool Available, so do whatever it takes to break free. Your heart does not only belong to you but to all your family members who love and care about you.

    If it takes outside meetings, so be it, it's better than the pain suffering and illness most go thru and every family member hurts too and for you!  I am so glad you are here and READY to begin a new life....we will be right by your side .EVER DAY .

    • tracey22742
      tracey22742 hope4cure

      Posted

      Thankyou for the reply...it is great to have this support as I turn my stubborn nature towards the biggest fight of my life.
    • hope4cure
      hope4cure tracey22742

      Posted

      Tracey, please know your not alone. This is the brain fighting off the cravings that you can find all the help available. There is no shame in asking. 

      You are important to many in your life. I know you can make positive changes with all the best support you can find. 👍

       

    • tracey22742
      tracey22742 hope4cure

      Posted

      Evening of the 4th day and some symptoms weakning ...slept 5 hours last night without dreams or sweats like wow...went for a kilometer walk today and hope I can sleep...still alot of anxiety but better...thanks for the response and hope you are managing ok...Ive been told "The past is the lesson....the future a gift...life is right now ...this second !!! makes sense to me Thanks

    • hope4cure
      hope4cure tracey22742

      Posted

      So good for you that the symptoms are lessening. that's getting thru the tough part. Remember to eat right no sugars and take vitamins . 

      it also a great sign that you are getting good sleep.exercise is so important to get those good endorphins to feel better and distraction from the triggers.

      Stay in a different routine that will not allow the mind to trick u.

      you are using all the important coping tools. When you need to talk or help be sure to have plan B with a professional is in place to help keep you on track. 

      Hopexxxxx

    • hope4cure
      hope4cure tracey22742

      Posted

      also the past lessons I like that , so true, is a great way to think especially now! It makes prefect sence.

      The he anxietybwillmlesson as well the longer your away from the alcohol which can cause it.

      also , " KEEP BOTH FEET IN TODAY !!!

      xxxxxHope cheesygrin

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