Starting to feel the urge "again"!

I think I did this wrong.

Anyway, I need support or help.

i think.

for those of you that have been following my posts over the last few years, you will know I've struggled with Alcohol issues.

i can go weeks, months, years without a drink but it always, always, always comes back.

and that's my problem.

i know it's a killer. I know it's my enemy. I know it doesn't help. I know all the bad stuff re alcohol, but once the thought gets in my head I can't deny the craving.

and that's what I can't understand.

i can sit with a bottle of wine in front of me for hours, look at it, and say to myself " don't do it, don't drink it, don't buy it in the first place you silly b::tch, but I still go,ahead and drink it. And then the demon sets and I carry on.

ive done everything I possibly can to stop. I don't live alone anymore. I don't socialise with drinkers. I won't have alcohol in the house. I have accessed support groups and help I.e. AA, Aquarius, Out Reach Recovery and am starting 1-1 counselling.

But, the demon takes over. And I don't know why? 

Please help. This is the one fundamental question I have been asking myself, others and peer mentors for years and I've never had a satisfactory answer. 

I got thrown out of AA for asking questions! 

Domt get me wrong. AA is brilliant, at the time you need help, but "in my opinion" it doesn't really answer the why?

asking questions is a definite no no, hence me getting thrown out!

either way though, I've tried and continue to participate in every available support for me, but at the end of the day, the "need" for a drink ALWAYS comes back, and I don't know why.

has anyone else ever felt like this?

liz 

 

Campral/Acamprosate medication is the thing that might just help nip those urges in the bud.

C'mon, Liz....

Without any intention of sounding rude or trying to undermine how you are feeling, we are here to support you if we can, but we are not mind-readers here!

You are going to need to give some more information if you are looking for some sort of useful help.

A bit of background, perhaps?  What have you tried before?  How long have you been sober?  How did you drink, binge, regular, daily drinker?  Are you under the care of a counsellor or doctor for your alcohol issues?  Are you in the UK?

Based on your post, I am not quite sure what you are looking for us to reply.

One simple question I asked myself was whether I wanted to live or die when I did stop. I was destroying my family life and health. Think about it. Regards Robin

I have NO medical background so please just take this as what is currently working for me. I started taking Champix, the anti-smoking drug 2 1/2 weeks ago, which works on the brain to diminish cravings. It's working for me now, the literature will tell you some people get terrible psychological side effects after a while, so I'm very aware of that and will come off it if I start to feel any of them.  Anecdotal stories are people take it for up to 2 months and then slowly come off it and then only take a pill if they feel the urge (I'm talking about drinkers not smokers, although it should work the same way for both?).  I found @JoannaC3Europe info really interesting and it fits in with what I've read about the effects of Champix. 

For me, the most unhelpful thing I can say to myself is "Don't" or "I mustn't" because them I'm still focusing on the drink. And that seems to keep the urge to drink going.   What was more helpful was to focus on what I want like "I want to be sober today" or "I want to feel well in the morning" or "I want to remember this film I'm watching" or "I want to stay healthy" or "I want people to were the best side of me".  

I hope you find a way that suits you.  You have been able to be abstinent for long periods of time.  Do you know how you did this?  I personally didn't choose medication to help but it does seem to help lots of people and may well be worth trying.  Best of luck.