Starting to struggle again

Posted , 7 users are following.

Hi , I've been on sertraline 100mg for 5 weeks now. I thought I had turned a corner last week with better days. OMG that last 3-4 days I feel I'm back at the start, I just don't want to be here much longer!!!! I suppose to go back to work tmoz, but the terrible sleep, anxiety, fast heart rate, racing thought etc etc etc are all back. I just don't know what to do anymore I'm so down and confused about all this and desperate. I have been taking an anti histamine for sleep and it was helping but even 2 did not help last night in the end had to take a 5mg diazepam to try and at least calm me down. Think it gave me 2 hours sleep. Feel like I'm just letting everyone down and l hate myself so much. Was at docs yesterday and did not want to up the dosage. I just don't know what to do or where to turn anymore. I just know I can't carry on life like this, it's just so hard. I don't get how o can go from being okay and getting out and about last week to a nervous wreck and just flip like I have the past 3-4 days. Really don't know how much longer I can take of all this anymore. Just so desperate to get through this but it's been ongoing now for 3 awful months, bar a few better days!!!! So so for sounding so negative but what can I do. 

0 likes, 18 replies

18 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi there,

    5 weeks at the 100mg is not quite enough time to feel the full therapeutic effect so don’t give up. This is the hardest thing you will do. Even after 16 weeks at 100mgs I still can have an off day or two. But I assure you it does get better! I sometimes take Tylenol PM before bed to ensure a full 6-7 hrs of sleep. The awful sleep seems to be a constant with this medicine. Morning exercise helps keep the anxiety at bay. 

    • Posted

      Also- I remember feeling exactly as you desribe...like this will never be any better than it is today. It’s not true. I felt like I was dying or at least losing my mind in November/December. I turned a corner in January. I started being able to slowly return to my normal routine and I acknowledged those little accomplishments. I made sure to feel proud of myself and that led to me feeling stronger overall. Best of luck.
  • Posted

    Hang on in there, you will get there! I am 10 weeks in, starting to feel much better. It is early days. You WILL get better. 
  • Posted

    Hi,

    Thanks for the encouragement. I just don't know how to pick myself up. The past few days have knocked me sideways. I really feel I can't take anymore knock backs. I've tried counselling, CBT, reiki, massage, meditation all in the past and recently and just can't get any of these to work. I really don't know how much more I can take...so sorry guys to he so down. It's been the worst 3 months ever. I just don't know who I am anymore and how to beat this. I really really have tried. A week ago I went on a bus into town and felt okay. A week later I feel that I'm lost and with The symptoms of anxiety back, I really can't take much more, just want a life, but I'm lost again. Think people would be better off if I just was not around. Everything scares me again. Can't even bring myself to go outside today and I have to try and go back to work tmoz. Hate this hate it hate it hate it. 

  • Posted

    Hi Richard, I wanted to post a reply to give you some comfort that your not alone, I was similar to you and couldn't see any light from this awful illness, I started on 50mg last July and after 8 weeks of hell I slowly started to fell myself again, that lasted for around 2 months, and then I crashed back down in early November, my dose was upped to 100mg and that again took around 6 weeks until just before Xmas I felt the depression and anxiety lift again and was doing great for the next few months, then around mid February I woke up one morning and felt dreadful again, I couldn't work out how the meds could suddenly stop being effective, I was told by my GP to increase again to 150mg which I have been taking for the last few weeks and this week have started to feel slightly better again, still struggling to get a restful nights sleep and get quite hot and sweaty when stressed, but the racing thoughts and dread have decreased in the last couple of days, I know its really tough as believe me I have been there, and still wonder if the meds will continue to work, but stick with it and hopefully over the next week or so you will start to improve, its very frustrating when you think your feeling better and then you feel crap again, I have wondered if diet and smoking have effected the meds, so I plan to try a eat a bit healthier and see how that goes, stay in touch as you need the support of others to help you get through this difficult period.

    • Posted

      Thanks Mark, I try to eat healthy but do smoke about 3-4 a day. I don't drink anymore. Just totally hate myself. I thought maybe I had turned a corner but no, bam back to square one. I just don't know how to deal with this anymore. I have tried so many things to help but any positivity I get just seems to dwindle away and evaporate. Im so scared that things are just going to continue down this what seems endless road. I've tried anti hisimines for sleep so I don't have to take sleeping tabs onto top of all the other meds I take. Sertraline, omperazole, propanolol slow release. Even had to take a diazepam last night. I even thought accupuncture was working but when you have these bad runs I just dispair. I have no life and am literally forcing myself to go back to work which I know I'm not ready for. I just want to catch a break now. I started sleeping a bit better with the anti histamine but past few days I get so restless in bed and thoughts then start. I just don't know if I want to truly be here anymore. I just feel any glimmer of hope just gets taken away from me. I really don't know how much longer I can take this. I had to come off Mirtazapine as that stopped working then start sertraline 1 week at 50 then 5 weeks at 100 so far. I feel like I'm back to square one yet again. So sorry to bleat on, I just don't know what else I can do. Feel such a failure in my life. 

  • Posted

    Hi Richard, what you describe is exactly like I have been through, so I can really relate to everything you describe, I too tried acupuncture and CBT, nothing worked until the meds kicked in, I would say give it another week on 100mg and you should start to feel some relief from this awful illness, if you feel you cannot return to work then call them and explain how bad you are, I was off work last summer for 9 weeks, I just want to give you some hope as I know how hard it can be but you will start to feel better, 5 weeks is probably not enough time for the Sertraline to have worked its way into your system, if you need a chat then e-mail me and I would be happy to give you a call to reassure you that things will improve, you need all the support you can get and I know exactly how it feels, stay strong and take care of yourself.

    Moderator comment: I have removed the email address as we do not publish these in the forums. If users wish to exchange contact details please use the Private Message service.

  • Posted

    Hi Richard, I’m so sorry you’re going through such a hard time but please be compassionate with yourself.  You are not alone!  You WILL get through this!

    I know it’s hard to return to work when you’re not yourself.  Just take it one moment at a time.  Try to go for walks and practice focusing on your breath when the anxiety escalates, tell yourself you’ll be okay, it will pass.

    So many of us have gone through a tough time...I had dark intrusive thoughts too.  I’m now at 100mg for 2 weeks, (increased from 25, 50, 75 over 7 weeks) still have difficult nights and that Adrenalin feeling in my chest.  Energy and motivation is low.

    I have improved my diet since my appetite isn’t great, I make smoothies- dumping protein powder (flavoured) flax, loads of spinach and frozen fruit- takes just a minute to whip it up in the blender and I know I’m doing something good for my body.

    It takes time, just remember to be kind to yourself- it’s the illness not you and you will feel better soon.

    Counting blessings helps too even though you don’t feel blessed there are little things each day we can be thankful for- my therapist recommended hitting down 3 things each day, it’s quick and helps the mind to focus on positives.

    There’s also many apps that have guided short meditations - insight timer is good.

    Keep reaching out- we’re here for you!

    Good luck today you can do it!!

  • Posted

    I'm in the same boat Richard. Was feeling great for about a week but this week has been extremely crappy. I'm considering trying a different med instead of upping past 100mg. I've found breathing exercises to be helpful in calming down to a tolerable state of anxiousness but it's still frustrating feeling like this.

    • Posted

      Hi,

      Yeah it certainly is awful and until someone has been through a similar experience they cannot understand how dibilitating it is living with this illness. I've tried all kinds of stuff to help. Like I say I thought I had turned a corner last week where I had several days which were okay, then said since Sunday I feel I'm back at square 1. I don't think I have the what it takes to swap again and go through withdrawal and start up effects again, think that would be me broken, if I've not already been broken. I just so tired and worn out now, it's been 3 months of crap surely it's time I got we got a break from this and move forward. I've just had enough time of it all. I still have a slight flicker of hope that it will get easier.

    • Posted

      I'm trying to remain hopeful too. Many have said to give it time and while some days that notion is hard to want to accept I keep thinking of the days that I have been totally fine and the fact its helped me sleep again. Hang in there tho good sir! Like many have said keep reminding yourself that it's anxiety and that you're totally fine. Changing up your diet a bit might also help. I've been told a multivitamin with magnesium, b6, b12 & d3 is also really helpful.

  • Posted

    Richard, I'm in the same boat. Upped my dose 4 weeks ago today and still feel like I'm at the start. I've had some good days but the last 3-4 days have been so filled with anxiety. I go back to the doctor today to see if this is normal. I also take Buspar for anxiety and will probably have it tweeked. I also feel like I'm letting everyone down and letting myself down. My husband keeps reminding me that I will be fine and will get better. He's being a great support.

    • Posted

      Yep exactly how I feel. I had an email okay few days last week and got out and about with little problems. Then since weekend I've gradually declined and feel such a failure. I know it's just the illness but not sleeping again is stressing me out. I thought I had started to turn that corner too on that front but that's up the wall again. I just can't relax at bedtime again. It's all so frustrating be am struggling to process it all. On top of that I agreed to go back to work tmoz last week when I felt better. Just cannot face this now. I'm hoping things will pick up again very soon.

    • Posted

      Have you tried to add an anti-anxiety med to your Zoloft? Buspar (Generic buspirone) is not for everyone and might not work for you but could help elevate the anxiety a little. It's generally added to anti-depressants to help with the anxiety. I don't know if it's quite working for me because it can take 4-6 weeks to get the full therapeutic dose. I'm only on week 4 of it.

      When you do go up on your dosage of Zoloft, you will experience some side effects so be careful of that as I'm going through this right now. But you might not get the side effects. We are here for you!

    • Posted

      I'm hoping the 100mg is still taking its time to settle in my system. Heard it's a good sign that the meds are working if you are up and down and worse before better so 🙏🏻🙏🏻 This is what is going on with me. Like I say I have some decent days last week then since the weekend it's been very hard and knocked me for six. I've also been taken ng magnesium and omega 3 not sure if it's helped, but like to be honk it has.

    • Posted

      Ok so it IS a good sign if you are up and down? That's great to hear. Still going to my dr appt this afternoon to make sure I'm still on the right track and no needing another AD instead of zoloft. 

    • Posted

      He's keeping me on my 150 mg dosage and raised my Buspar from 7.5mg 2x daily to 10mg 2x daily. He said that it will help with my anxiety. He also refilled my alprazolam, thank God! So if what everyone says is true, I should start to feel the full effects of my zoloft dose in the next two weeks. I have hope again!

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