Step daughter delicate problem

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My boyfriends 12 year old daughter doesn’t wipe her poop away fully and always smells. She sometimes has underwear full of poop too, I have found some hidden in her room. I’m worried she has something wrong with her intestines or with something else, Or if it’s just her not wiping well enough. Talking to her hasn’t helped. How can I help her?

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  • Posted

    I know of two boys who had the same problem when they were little. It is called encopresis. It turned out that these two precious little boys had and still have a allergy to wheat gluten. It caused them to lack that urge to go feeling so they didn't even know they had pooped. After removing gluten from their diets the problem went away. Their grandmother took them to a kinesiologist who discovered their allergy. Wheat is in literally everything so you have to become a label reader and discover all the gluten free foods out there. good luck with your little one.

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  • Posted

    I believe her problem is not wiping correctly. not a gluten problem. if your daughter is that old she should have learned by now. my son has this problem too but he is autistic. I think you have to teach your daughter the correct way to wipe herself. Does she have any mental issues.

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    • Posted

      my son also has this problem and he is autistic .... please don't make her feel dirty and embarrassed , I just buy lots of pants for my boy and shower him morning and evening every day to defer soreness , he is too old for me to wipe him he is 18 now !! however he has never managed to clean properly there he doesn't like touching it or risking getting it on hands 😕 but so he doesn't have to show me soiled pants I make sure he has plenty so the dirty ones go in the bin. not cheap but anything to save my boys feelings xx

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  • Posted

    Keep trying to talk to her about this. That's the only way you are going to find out what the problem is in order to help her. Persevere with trying to discuss the problem. That is your best option.

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  • Posted

    oh and my son will not ever use a toilet other than at home , he will hold it until we are back which of course will lead to accidents, he never used a school toilet for a long as I can remember 😦

    its confusing but when you think gosh we would feel uncomfortable if it wasnt wiped properly 😕

    I hope you work it out soon , but perhaps try and ask what it feels like when she needs a poop. you can start by saying gosh I hate pooing in public toilets because someone always goes in after and might know it was you , .. or maybe when I need to poop I get cramping or gurgling in my tummy etc , just try and suss what her signals are when the bowels wish to open hopefully she can talk and give you some insight to help and understand x

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  • Posted

    Hi kimerly959

    Obviously your 12 year old stepdaughter is in high school. Perhaps she is nervous to ask to use the toilet at school and tries to hold it until she gets home and has an accident on the way home. As well as loo roll do you keep wet wipes in the toilet for her to clean herself properly. My grandchildren do this at home and i have wet wipes at my home too they wipe first then clean with wet wipes and then put them in a bin provided not down the loo. As already mentioned speak with her because she may be too nervous to ask at school or she may may have the condition that has been mentioned. What about her monthly cycle does she deal with that ok if she has them? is she a shy, quiet girl? I am not prying but where is her mum? she may have a few emotional problems that need to be addressed perhaps....

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  • Posted

    oooh yes good thought there, I didn't think about the monthly's that us supergirls have to encounter. I remember mine , I was way too nervous to tell my mum so I stole some pads from the chemist 😕 and that added to the nerves of course and then I was wetting the bed all over again , I was 13 when I first started so not that young really as opposed to other girls I knew bless them and eventually I told my mum by showing her the pads and said I need these now , I never mentioned it again , they used to just appear in my room xx

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  • Posted

    This should be brought to her dads attention in her presence and try to get to the bottom of this situation. This forum should be addressed after you get an medical opinion on this if you think its needed. I feel if their was a medical problem she would tell you. So just try talking with her again.

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    • Posted

      It may still be a medical problem. Some children may be too nervous to discuss a medical problem with their parents. I would not have told my parents about something like this so as to avoid seeing a doctor because I have a phobia.

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  • Posted

    Get her the larger sized baby wipes.

    Just explain to her how important it is to wipe correctly or she will start to have an itchy hoo hah. My granddaughter was complaining that her "part" was itching and I told her to make sure she wiped from front to back always.

    Sometimes they just don't realize until you explain that there is a correct way to wipe.

    Then they could just have whatever problem it is with men that always have "tracks"

    in their underwear. My husband is one of those men and i make him do his own laundry because I just refuse to handle his crappy underwear.

    Maybe that would work for you to teach her to do her own laundry and it could take away some of the pressure of being embarrased about her bodily functions.

    I always keep baby wipes in my bathrooms.

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  • Posted

    This is a really delicate situation. I am 70 and have had loose bowels since a child. I recall my mother coming into the street waving my soiled knickers and shouting at me. I was about 10, so hideously embarrassed and for years was totally unable to use public toilets if anyone else was in them, and tried to "go" every time I wee'd as well, just in case.

    So you need to be very sensitive, particularly as she is your step-daughter. Many years later I discovered I had gluten intolerance, medication sensitivities, and severe Diverticular Disease which meant my bowel muscles just don't work very well. To this day I have to watch what I eat and be prepared for medication side effects. Your step-daughter could have some sort of intolerance or a bowel condition and might be best seen by a female paediatric gastroenterologist

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