Still can't come to terms with HSV2 .. What do I do?
Posted , 5 users are following.
Hello everyone,
I have been diagnosed with HSV2 for over a year now, I am on daily meds as I easily get stressed out and I worry alot which causes outbreaks. I am in a good stable realtionship with my boyfriend who knows about my condition and is extrememly supportive... But I can't help but think about this condition every day - when I wake up and before I go to sleep.
It's really bugging me as it's starting to take a toll on my moods, daily acitivties etc. I just feel like if my boyfriend was to ever break up me with I dont know how I would deal with telling someone else...
I still can't come to terms with this and I feel so different to everyone else as I am still young. I'm beginning to have an outbreak now I keep getting tingling in my bum cheek and feels really sore.
I just dont know what to do anymore 
Thank you for reading this i hope someone can give me some positive advice
1 like, 13 replies
Vnice00789 jessb1738
Posted
You are not alone!!! Trust me, you are not. You need to value yourself. Don't think that you are less than your boyfriend because you have this. This has nothing to do with your character and who you are on the inside. Keep in mind that about 20% of people have hsv2.. That's a BIG percentage, that is going to continue to grow. Many times, as we get older & the body changes, people get less and less outbreaks. Eventually you can stop getting them at all. I know this is very hard, and I'm having trouble dealing with it myself. I'm nervous to have to tell people. Many people don't say anything because they don't even know they have it. I try to always look at the bright side though. NOW I know that if someone does fall in love with me regardless of this, then they really fell in love with me for who I am on the inside and saw pass this. That makes your love that much more real I try to always look at the bright side though, now I know that if someone does fall in love with me regardless of this, but they really fell in love with me for who I am on the inside. That confirms that your love that much more real. We Live in a world with billions of people. Trust me when I say there is somebody for everybody. As a matter fact, there is many people for everybody. You will be OK, this is very common. Change your mind frame from "if my boyfriend leaves me", to " he'd be crazy to let someone like me go. And if he does, there was plenty more fish in the sea".. Much love.
Vnice00789
Posted
Greentea14 Vnice00789
Posted
Such good advice!
jessb1738 Vnice00789
Posted
Thank you so much for your advice!!!! It really means alot, you're right its so easy to forget how common this is as no one speaks about herpes and the stigma surrounding it. I dont know anyone else who has this other than the person who gave it to me, just makes you feel alone. Just makes life alot harder it seems but I guess in a way it is a good thing as people will want to be with you, for you rather than how you look etc.
Once again, thank you for your advice it's really kind of you and I 100% agree with you... I just need to change my mindset! x
Greentea14 jessb1738
Posted
You're not alone in this. I was diagnosed with HSV1 AND HSV2 genitally back in April this year - I contracted it from someone who was shedding asymptomatic ally and we didn't even have sex. To say I was distraught would be an understatement - I've always valued myself on 'not sleeping around' and being 'safe' by not actually having sex casually, little did I know that I could catch this virus so easily.
Everyday day I think about the fact that I have herpes - yes it's life changing, yes it's made it harder for me to find a partner and yes I'm gutted I have this. But also, it's not THAT big of a deal at the same time. I go from feeling dirty and tainted to feeling empowered and knowledgable about my sexual health. This virus is a contradiction.
We only have one life, and if all we manage to suffer from is herpes - a skin condition - then I think we are pretty lucky. But still, never think you are alone, I'm young too and it's a struggle, but we will learn to accept it over time
are you in the UK?
jessb1738 Greentea14
Posted
Really, what happened? That is exactly the same as me, I dont sleep around and make sure I use protection.. and typical the one time I dont it happens! My friend sleeps around and she never uses protection and she has never had anything!!!
Thats very true what you have said, there are a lot more worse things to have and should feel very lucky that it is not anything worse, thank you for you response! And yes I'm from the UK are you?
Greentea14 jessb1738
Posted
Yeah I know what you mean.. I know people who have slept with numerous other people, without protection, numerous time and yet they are still std free! Life is unfair in many ways.
He performed oral sex on me for a few minutes, if that. I remember his genitals gently brushing against mine and me being like WOOPS and moving him off me straight away.. Apparently that's enough for me to contract both types... It was a new infection as I had bloods a few weeks after it which came up negative meaning I hadn't developed the antibodies yet, but my pcr swab came up positive for both types, even though I had no blisters only 'cuts' or 'tears' inner labia.
An awesome, yeah I'm from England, West Midlands
it's nice to know I'm not the only person in th UK right now having to think about this haha. Xx
jessb1738 Greentea14
Posted
Did you have any Symtoms at all? did the boy know he had it? Did you tell him? Have you told anyone else?
I'm from London! Everyone on here seems to be from America it's so much more common there i believe, people also seem to have more knowledge of it over there too. Haha yes exactly! There must be loads of people who have it .. But the majority just without knowing!?? I think so many people must be exposed to it as some have no or little symptoms they just pass it off as being nothing ... Not sure what I prefer knowing I have it or not knowing ?? Xx
Greentea14 jessb1738
Posted
Symptoms were strange.. I had some itching about 12 days after but thought nothing of it, but of burn when I peed but I put it down to shower gel as I'm sensitive anyway. Then I shaved and noticed a load of red marks. Numerous doctors told me it wasn't herpes and that it was 'irritation from his beard'... I didn't belive them. The spots went very quickly but then I developed a lot down the side of my clitoris which I got swabbed and was diagnosed with having both viruses.
I don't know if he knew. I asked him when I first got symptoms of he'd ever had an std or cold sore , he said no. When I found out I had it I sent him an anonymous message saying that he had genital herpes and that he should get tested privately. He figured it was me and sent me a text saying thank for letting him know, he didn't seem bothered.
My mom, dad and sister know. My best friend knows and that's it, alongside the guy who gave it me.
I think it would be easier to live in America, people seem to know about it way more. Everyone here just gets tested for chlamydia, hiv and syphyllis and if they are clear assume they are std free which is not necessarily true.
Before my symptoms I had very limited knowledge about all this.
It makes me sad because their must be so many people around me who also have it but just can't talk about it because they think they're the only one.
It's frustrating that people who will judge me for having an std could also have the same one and not know.
louise123456 Greentea14
Posted
Sorry to butt in on the conversation but just checking in on how you are doing!
I remember we were diagnosed at the same time... You sound like you're coming to terms with it all?
Greentea14 louise123456
Posted
Hi Louise, yes I remember we were weren't we!
Haha yes I think my feelings towards it change everyday, but with each day is a little more acceptance, y'know?
I'll never be happy that I have this, no one ever will be, but there are much worse cards that could be drawn, and I've realised that I still get to do everything in life (so far) that I want to, even with hsv lurking around in my body.
I remember crying about it thinking my life was over and my dad said something very sobering - he said 'why don't you go down to the graveyard and cry to those guys in the ground. They'd laugh at you and swap place with you in a Heartbeat'. As blunt and harrowing as that sounds, it made me realise how lucky I am to be relivitly healthy, happy and alive! Herpes is just Herpes, and I'm trying not to let it dampen my experience as a human
haha.
Sorry for going on.. How have you been?? X
louise123456 Greentea14
Posted
Your Dad is so right, I've had two outbreaks since my first and can't get over how mild it is... It has barely any physical effect on my life at all. As ever, it's the emotional effect that is more worrying.
Getting past the deceit of my ex is one thing but trying to move forward relationship wise is another... I just can't shake the feeling that I'd be fooling someone or reeling them in if I wasn't to tell them after like one date that I had it... But I can't go round telling every guy I may date once for the rest of my days - so the dating situation is just not being addressed at all right now. I haven t met anyone or anything that it's even come up but I feel I can't online date or anything either as again, I feel I would be meeting them and starting something under false pretences in a way.
But other then that the initial shock and disbelief and thinking my life is over has passed ????
cyder01234 jessb1738
Posted