Still can’t have sex

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I had my  posterior repair 21 October 2017 , and I still can’t have sex , so so painful can’t even get  penis in (so sorry to be blunt) tried ky, still no joy so tight and painful anyone else suffered like this I just want to get back to normality, I know it’s not everything but I want it lol 😂😢 wondering should I go back to doctors or give it more time !!!

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Margaret. 

    It takes a long time to recover from this surgery, up to a year. If it's just the pain, give it a bit more time.

    If you feel you are too tight to have sex, and in general this op does tighten things up a fair bit, it might be a idea to try dilators, they come in sets of different sizes, I think your Dr should be able to prescribe them, or refer you to a women's health physio.

    So, yes go see your GP, it's normal to want to get things back to how they were sexually.

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    • Posted

      Hi Laura thank you for replying, I think when you see people getting back to normal after 6 weeks you start to worry, will pop to doctors next week to put my mind at rest again thank you this sight is such a life savour, take care xx
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    • Posted

      Honey, my surgery was Oct 18th and I was ordered not to even attempt any vaginal sex until after 3 months. 

      My aunt had the same surgery this summer and said to use a lube called “Slippery Stuff,” which I bought but haven’t tried yet(obviously.) She said it took lots of patience for both of them but after about 5 months things were feeling pretty normal. 

      I feel so tight in there it feels like I have a dry tampon in. Very nervous about sex!!

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  • Posted

    You must be about 11 weeks post op which is early days as yet. There is a section at the bottom end of useful resources section which you can find at top of genitourinary forum. Also useful section under physiotherapy/pelvic floor section on post op sex.

    Leave it for a few weeks and try again; I personally slowly stretched it out a bit over time before attempting full intercourse.

    You will get there eventually,

    Take care x

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  • Posted

    For me, I am sure, it was nearer 6  months, even then it was really tight and uncomfortable. Still tight over a year later but much better. Was not offered dilators but that may be the way to go. Husband was very patient thankfully!  
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    • Posted

      My husband has been amazing, which is great , I just keep wanting it all sorted and healed no  patience  lol thank you for replying and  caring  xx
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  • Posted

    Hi, had my A and P repair in May. Bleeding for 9 weeks. Pressure for weeks. Initial sex was painful along the incision line, but now as long as I am lubricated all is well. Good luck honey. Women rock! I am 64. Men do not always get it.
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    • Posted

      I think time is the word for me, I need to give it more! I have a amazing husband never complain s, he just wants to see me pain free in that department to, we do rock us girls 😂 stronger than we realise , thank you for responding xxx

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  • Posted

    Hi

    I know exactly how you feel! Had the same problem after my op which was in April. Luckily, I found a really good pelvic floor physio. It turns out that my muscles were in spasm and needed to be manually encouraged to release.

    I'm now 8 months post surgery and only just feeling like life is getting back to normal. (Sex was fine after the initial consult with my lovely physio.)

    Wishing you all the best for a speedy recovery, bearing in mind that it takes a lot longer than the 7 weeks I was quoted!! 

    Juli xx

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  • Posted

    Margaret

    I was exactly the same, I was advised to wait twelve weeks and even then entry was impossible! So tight it just couldn't happen. 

    I'm now eight months post op and sex is only just becoming pain free ?? It's huge surgery and for me has taken much longer to heal than anticipated. 

    Your body needs time to recover and patience is the only way forward, frustrating as it is. Good luck. 

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