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Still sounds like depression...?

Posted , 3 users are following.

k8861
k8861

Ok, so I had medication for 12 years then things went wrong and medication was changed in April this year. Things then got very bad, almist the worst Ive ever been. Extremely low, suicidal, risky harming behaviour etc. I started a new medication in august and i guess things are better in that my feelings aren't as intense ir severe.. I dont wake up with the dark cloud that makes me sick to my stomach and not want to move. However, everything feels pointless. I go through the motions and hate it. I just feel im constantly being propelled forwards doing things i dont really want to do as if my mind and feelings are absent..so im tired all the time and feel empty but cant cry as much, like theres a block and I feel vacant.

I get angry; argue with friends; have no desire to do "fun" things but as I said the mood isnt severe like it was...I hate my life abd cannot keep going on like this but then I do..keep going. I feel apathetic about everything and hate so much lonliness. I feel no one cares about me; before I would cry painfully but now Im just like yeah, no one cares life is s**t f**k everyone, and go to sleep.

Is this the best it gets for me then? 😣

1 like, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • wayne1962
    wayne1962 k8861

    Posted

    Hi k8861 - are you in frequent touch with your doctor? Or a therapist? Your meds might need tweaking in the dosage, or perhaps a different med altogether. Don't give up hope that there is an answer for you.

    • k8861
      k8861 wayne1962

      Posted

      I had the best gp ever who was supporting me but she has been off sick for 7 weeks. Im seeing another gp until she returns but it feels like my main support has gone. The mental health team - I have been under them since April 2017 and they havent provided therapy yet...as I went through a period of taking lots of overdoses, they said I was not stable enough for therapy.
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