still the same
Posted , 5 users are following.
I was on here a little while ago about how I was feeling and I thought that things were getting better ( thanks to the advice I was given by people here) but this morning/ night I started crying
I don't know what what triggered it but I suddenly felt really sad about a lot of things such as university not being at all levels what I'd hoped for
I wanted start university with a new image, someone is slightly more outgoing than the real me but that all failed when I didn't get into student accommodation, I felt isolated and alone having to walk to university by myself, I was by myself in he breaks too, even when I want to go out with friends I think about the costs and decide against it ( i have to take taxis to far places by myself)
I feel intimidated by the people around me and I don't know why know, well I do actually I always feel like people are better than me or that they don't really want to know me, I look at people with their groups of friends and it only makes me feel worse
I feel so ugly and always think that no guy finds me attractive, but that's something that I shouldn't do because it's pretty much the same thing as saying to God that he failed in creating me, which isn't true, I rarely talk to guys because of these feelings
My school 'friends' barely make the effort to contact me, I thought we were all close in secondary school but they never message me or contact me to meet up when they do
I feel as though they never really cared about me but had to because we were together all the time ( i went to a boarding school ) I try so hard to be strong in public but the only people who really know that I struggle are my parents and they don't even know everything because how can I tell them that I constantly feel alone, that I constantly feel as though I'm wasting my life, that if feel as if I mean nothing to those around me but a tool that they use to get further in life, I feel as though people only use me because they think I'm smart
My mum always tells me that she really wants me to enjoy this part of my life and not be sad anyhow but it's soo hard for me, I want the same thing to I just feel so isolated and trapped in my own fears
I just want to go home so badly ( to be with my parents) but I'm not a child anymore I need to start living for myself before my whole life passes by and I'm still feeling the same. Even writing this I'm crying but I don't know where else to go ... if you can help me I would really appreciate it, I just want to be happy
2 likes, 4 replies
chris14174 justagirl72279
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gilly121 justagirl72279
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Chin up
liana01735 justagirl72279
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Rhisfor justagirl72279
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