Stopped drinking 1 year ago, having trouble going out with friends

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I stopped drinking alcohol a year ago (I'm 23), I had serious anxiety with panic disorder and used alcohol as a relief for my anxiety, it worked for a around two years but then it got out of control and I started having serious negative effects. I had many close friends and group of friends with who I used to go out and of course at this age have a drink. However; when I stopped drinking on a personal matter things got much better but in regards to my friends I have lost a lot of contacts and friendships because I would find an excuse to not go out to the bar or club, I kept on giving excuses so it came to the point they thought I was ignoring them, , it is quite sad that I have to give an "excuse" for not drinking, what has happened to our world?

Because I stress on my excuse I tend to avoid going out with friends and I end up alone, it is hard to find people in their twenties not drinking when going out even though I would love to go for a nice dinner or do other activities that do not have to involve drinking. Whether going out with a guy a girl or just a group of friendsit always involves alcohol and I am starting to get stressed on how to deal with this situation. Whenever I Go out and see young people like me enjoying a couple of beers with friends I always think why I can't be a normal person like that! I know it sounds weird but it's negative thoughts, I just feel I could blend in and have much more fun like people around my age

The problem is everything involves drinking nowadays and I don't want to lose friends as well but I do not want to be open about my past problems. What would you do in a similar situation? I would love to hear your advice and experiences

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  • Posted

    I'm the same. No booze for a year but some mornings the anxiety is inexplicable. It must have been underlying for years? Drinking solved that issue with me & it took years for me to realise I was hooked.

    I actually sometimes dread occasions when I have to socialise, but my advice is to force yourself to go. I've bought no alcoholic larger, had coke in a flute so people presume I'm drinking shorts with a mixer, not because I'm ashamed of being an alky ๐Ÿ˜ƒ But simply because I can't be bothered to explain.ย 

    I aslo love the bonus of not feeling like cat sick in the following few days, but on the downside, life can be tedious without an escape..... Well, that's my take on this. ๐Ÿ‘

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  • Posted

    It's very hard being young and not drinking but believe me,if you think you have a problem now,fast toward 20 years and if you continued drinking you would really have a problem.

    Most of us here are in our 40's 50's or older and a lot of us seem to be left st causes.

    Please please don't take up drinking again,whatever it takes

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  • Posted

    Forgot to say, I go to a group every 2 weeks through the local 'one recovery ' outfit. It's like going to the pub anyway, a good craic, young people mainly , all professionals. Not just alkies either, we have a cross section from Herion to legal highs, makes the people interesting๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ‘
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  • Posted

    Ever since my first drink I was not in control of my drinking. However at your age if I had a binge I would then not drink a week or so. As time went on the binges got closer together,

    Believe me, you go out with friends drinking and let your hair down and your true self show, if you get in a bad way like I did/do then friends tend to dwindle anyway. I've had so called friends say to me oh just have one what's the big deal. But then they hate dealing with me when I've had too many, too much to deal with. Heavy to carry home to say the least.

    It's only a true friend that won't judge or tell you what to do or not to do and will truly be there for you no matter what.

    X

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  • Posted

    Cool.ย 

    I started social drinking at 15/16. Just the usual with my mates at our local maybe once a week, TBH, I never enjoyed being drunk here in England, far too dangerous out there. Anyway, I went to Tenerife at 19 for a holiday, still never really drank so it wasn't a problem at all. My friend and I decided to stay over there, it was more than fun. About 8 years later I was still in Tenerife, survived the rave scene๐Ÿ˜œ But started to realise I had been drinking everyday from morning till night for nearly a year or so, so decided to have a break. I went 3 days without a beer, absolutely no problems at all, my work was my social life so I didn't feel uncomfortable there.ย 

    Gradually over the next year I escalated to vodka, that was my downfall, constant blackouts, falling out with friends etc & the absolute necessity to drink in the morning to block out the 'fear' or anxiety. I wasn't lucky enough to see what was happening. I left tenerife & instead of going home I went to live in Mallorca, by this point I couldn't function without a drink so I didn't make many friends & was soon in and out of different gaffs due to rent arrears etc. I'm now about 30 ( at this point) come back to the uk & slow the booze down, but still suffer from withdrawal if I don't have a beer.ย 

    Very soon I'm back on vodka as I can't go to my local with friends due to panic attacks. Of coarse I lost my job, license ( twice) & the last straw was being found

    ย in my parents back garden with an empty bottle, I was yellow & didn't even realise....I came round in a london private detox centre.ย 

    & here ย I am, on a Saturday night tapping the screen on my iPad..it's all 'roc n roll' these days, lol.....๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ oh, I'm 41 with a mental age of 18.

    i do still avoid going out, especially if it's pre arranged, but tomorrow, my work colleague will be in Witherspoons, so I'll probably pop in for a coke, all very informal ' I was just passing ' etc, so it's easy just to leave.

    Thats about it really, I'd say just try and continue normally, but don't isolate yourself, that's the worse thing to do๐Ÿ˜ƒ

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    • Posted

      Sounds oh so familiar. Constant blackouts, upsetting friends ๐Ÿ˜” Drinking early the next day to dull the feelings of despair. Alcohol makes you feel better but then after so so much worse ๐Ÿ˜”
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  • Posted

    How do you think your friends would react of you told them you'd quit the booze, but still want to spend time with them because you enjoy their company? Or is being in a place where there is booze just too tempting? I totally get that.
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