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Strange feeling or depersonalization

Posted , 10 users are following.

ferim
ferim

I have recently been feeling strange. It is like i am stranger to myself. I am so aware of my actions and voice. This is very uncomfortable. I think about myself all the time.

I am so scared if it is going to stay forever. Is this because of anxiety and depression? Will it go away?

0 likes, 16 replies

16 Replies

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  • david43118
    david43118 ferim

    Posted

    Have you had a change in medication or dosage? Any triggers happen lately? Need more info
    • ferim
      ferim david43118

      Posted

      Not really. This is my story:

      I have been taking citalopram for the past 6 years starting with 20 then 40 then 20 and 10 again for the last year. I stopped taking it abruptly(after 6 yrs). For the first month felt nothing except dizziness, but after a month started feeling anxious , having panick attacks and eventually depression. I was sooooo fed up with life and had no motivation. Every sigle hour of living was an struggle. I woukd ask myself what is the point of living along many other odd feelings. After 2 weeks feeling this way i couldnt tolerate and saw my GP to get back on citalopram again. He started me on 20m but the first day was such a horrible feeling and vad anxiety that i decided to halve the dose for a few days. After about a week i went back on 20m. Now it has been under 4 weeks since the start. I feel improved but not fully. The anxiety and panick attacks have considerably reduced but the depression is still there. I am still very hopeless and not joyful. I will see my gp in a week to up the dose maybe, as i had citalopram before and it worked perfectly for 6 years.

      So all this feeling started after i stopped abruptly. Now it i am in week 5/6 on cita but still have anxiety, depression and this strange feeling.

    • david43118
      david43118 ferim

      Posted

      Thank you for explaining. It sounds like some adjustments are still going on. The increase may help also, as you know these things time time, it sucks but it's the truth. I was in the same situation where I felt the medicine stopped working (40mg Citaloprame ) went through a full change of meds and am back on the 40mg of Citaloprame after over 3 months. Still don't feel well and struggling with depression. Wish I could help more.
    • john_vince54836
      john_vince54836 ferim

      Posted

      Hi ferim,

      You experienced withdrawal syndrome from

      Abruptly stopping taking your citalopram...

      Since you restarted the meds it will take longer for the meds to fully kick in compared when you first time take it... You will see improvement not by weeks but by months...

      Its my 4 month going fifth taking 10mg cit... It works for me before for a year so i know it will work for me again... Im gettin a little impatient sometimes because i see a little improvement by weeks... Compare 4 mos ago its so different... I get little anxiety sometimes but it dont bother me anymore unlike before...

      Recovery come in patches/waves there will be days you feel ok then the following days are not...

      Just keep taking it , since youve been on 40 mg , you can ask your doctor to be on that dose but do it gradually as you may feel more anxious due to meds... dont stop the meds gradually... As for myself i decided if i need to take this meds for longer then thats fine with me than going to rhe black hole again...m still you need to see your gp for assessment and review... Just tell him eveything ...ask also for fast acting anxiolytic like clonazepam to help ease the side effect of citalopram ....

      YOur doing good by taking your meds just stick with it... Eat healthy foods... Surround yourself with your love ones...

      Jv

    • ferim
      ferim john_vince54836

      Posted

      Thanks John for your relieving comment. As long as i make sure i will get back to my old self again, i will cope with everything. As for speaking to my Gp. They know very little or no about these meds so their facial expression , while u r explaining how miserable you feel, says that they dont understand it. I amm seeing a therapist at the end of the jan. Hope it helps further.
  • lorraine52317
    lorraine52317 ferim

    Posted

    H farim

    I am sure this sensation is quite scary.

    I had a quick look on line and got the following: 'The exact cause of depersonalization-derealization disorder isn't well-understood. However, it appears to be linked to an imbalance of certain brain chemicals called neurotransmitters, which can make a brain vulnerable so that heightened states of stress and fear may lead to the disorder.

    I agree with David, a little more info would be helpful eg med changes / doseage could be something worth exploring.

    God bless xx

    • ferim
      ferim lorraine52317

      Posted

      Tnx Lorraine. I hope that citalopram works for it. Pray for me!
    • lorraine52317
      lorraine52317 ferim

      Posted

      Hi ferim

      I had difficulty with citalopram. ..It really is hard work adjusting to it. Has your doctor given you a small amount of diazepam for the settling in period? It helped me a lot on my very bad days.

      If cit has worked for you in the past, it should work this time too. Hang in there a little longer, if you are experiencing unmanageable side effects, please don't leave it...ring gp for advice.

      I most certainly will pray for you farim. God bless and wishing your health will return swiftly...and then you will find the sunshine returns and brings joy with it xxx

  • liz957
    liz957 ferim

    Posted

    What you're experiencing is either a side effect of severe anxiety or the side effects of cit. I went through exactly the same and I never thought it would end, but it does and I am now back to my normal self! Give it a few more weeks and I promise you will stop thinking of yourself in third person! Citalopram has changed my life for the better smile
    • john_vince54836
      john_vince54836 liz957

      Posted

      Hi liz,

      How long since you started citalopram?what dose? Can you share some of your experience with the meds..

      Im looking forward being in my normal self again...i think i am close to that but still long way to go...4mos at 10mg...

      Thanks for your support to the group

      Jv

    • liz957
      liz957 john_vince54836

      Posted

      Hello smile

      I started cit in October the 10th on 10mg and a week later I started on 20! I'd say only a couple of weeks ago I started to feel 'normal' again but the side effects passed after about week 5!

      I don't know how I'd be on 10mg as I feel that would be too low for me, so I'd suggest if after a couple of weeks you still don't feel 'right' then maybe ask your gp for an increase?

      20mg has definitely changed my life for the better, I genuinely couldn't see a way of my anxiety/depression leaving me! I also have 2mg of diazepam which I take in emergencies only, but just knowing I have them if I need them helps!

  • howard52003
    howard52003 ferim

    Posted

    Hey mate!

    So I have been suffering from depersonalization for 6 years and know how horrible it is to have to live with!! It is linked to stress and anxiety, and at points of high anxiety I feel totally disconnected from my loved ones and from my body! Feels like I am watching my life through my eyes and have no control!

    That said however during my up moments I feel good and don't think about it and it isn't an issue! I decided to quit Citalopram cold turkey around 3 months and have been bitten in the arse for it! Felt rotten for months! Am back on Citalopram now in the hope of getting back on an even keel!

    Something my wise old mum has always said is 'all things pass' which is so true! Try to ride it out, as it is of no threat to you, and over time it will pass!

    Keep strong and we are always here if you need to vent or chat!

    • ferim
      ferim howard52003

      Posted

      Thanks Howard. Do you mean that it never gonna disappear? I wasnt like this before. It all happend when i went cold turkey after 6 yrs. And now that i am back on med it seems that it not going away.
    • howard52003
      howard52003 ferim

      Posted

      I'm sure that it will go away! You are just in a state of chemical imbalance! Once that passes ( can take quite some time for Citalopram to kick in, up to 6 months) you will be right as rain
  • stevo1975
    stevo1975 ferim

    Posted

    Hi Ferim, That does sound familiar however I am not a doctor I would go and see your doc and get their opinion rest assure though my friend if it is something like depression medication can improve things and that the feeling is not permanent !!! Those words were what I was really seeking when I ran into a black wall and now I've been through I can see that it does get better! The other thing to consider is if you have been really stressed your serotonin levels might be very low which can make you feel weird and have an out of body feeling ? go see the doc and good luck keep us posted on how things are going!

     

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