Struggling

Posted , 5 users are following.

things are so hard lately and are only getting worse, been drinking more, cutting more, sleeping less, been taking tablets left right and centre, feel like giving up, why fight when I know I can't win?

Im my own worst enemy, been given help from CRHT who have been so kind to me and tried their best to help me, had daily visits for last 2 weeks but the last 2 days ive not been able to open the door or answer their calls, I know it's pathetic im just So scared, my anxiety is through the roof, it's so hard for me to see or talk to people, they will probably give up on me now!

Just wish I could i hide away for the rest of my life, or better still not be living! It's too frigging hard! How can I change this? How do I change me?

1 like, 8 replies

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Im looking into tms I sleep 16 hours a day it's no life
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  • Posted

    I think if you could have the care and support for a few days constant they could see what your challenges are. Sadly our NHS is being cut back and as such the resources are lacking
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  • Posted

    See if you can't join a group where problems are discussed because there are so many people who either have all of your symptons or some of them   You need to see a psychiatrist to see if they can get the medication right and keep it monitored.   I know exactly the feeling of wanting to stay under the duvet.  That was one reason I liked Mirtazapine as at least I could blot out 8 hours each day through sleep at night.
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  • Posted

    Dondon I know this is very hard for you but next time they ring make yourself answer the phone.   Next time they come round answer the door no matter how you are feeling.   They are there to help you but can't unless you cooperate with them.   Even if you collapse on the doorstep do it!  

    It sounds like your meds need changing as no one should have to suffer like you are.   You need help - accept it please.   Only then can you start to live again.   What's the alternative?   You need to decide whether you want to give yourself a chance to live or whether you really want to end it.  Harsh I know but I faced this decision a few years ago and I chose life.   I am glad I did.   Choose life please love.   Lots of big cuddly warm hugs.   Bev xx

     

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    • Posted

      If it were just me I know what I'd choose but I have my babies, i've tried a few measly attempts, taking overdoses but think was half heartedly, think I knew it wouldn't work, ive sat in the bath late at night a few times with a blade to my wrists but haven't been able to do it, i know deep down that I couldn't put my Children through that and I don't think I want to die it's just that I don't want to live like this xx

      Im glad you chose life, you're a lovely, kind and caring lady xxx

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    • Posted

      And so are you Dondon which is why I am trying my best to help.   I totally get what you are saying love and if you are not choosing death then you are choosing life.    Can you make changes in your life to make it easier or better?   If you don't know what you want do you know what you don't want?   How can you be a pathetic person when you have your 2 babies?  You have obviously done something right.   Stop being so hard on yourself and try and be your own best friend.  Easy to say I know but very hard to do.  Pretend you are looking after an ill friend - would you treat them the way you are treating yourself?   No you wouldn't!   Why treat yourself so harshly then?   Every time you are putting yourself down or considering harming yourself put your head into best friend mode.  

      You don't deserve any of this s.... you are going through but it is the illness of depression and you have to hold on that things will get better coz they usually do.   As someone who has been where you are matters normally improve and with proper counselling you will give yourself the tools to deal with this.   Lovely big hugs for you sweetie.  Pm me anytime.  Bev x

       

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  • Posted

    Thank you for your replies, ive managed to call them today and apologise, they're coming to see my tonight, I do want their help but feel like I can't even help myself, it's ridiculously hard for me to talk and tell them things, im pathetic!
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  • Posted

    There are a number of self harm sites with forum where you can get support. Google self harm help. Drinkinging and tablets I am sure I don't need to say anything and you know for yourself the risks.

    if you getting anxiety they need to know so they can find out why

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