Struggling abit anyone to talk to

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3 weeks ago I lost a girl I loved so much through my anxiety and paranoia I also quit weed and went on to sertaline from citalopram.. I am 30 now and the last ten years have passed me by I have messed up bad and have regrets that I could of changed earlier and avoided this. The sertaline have seemed to help my anxiety I have gone up from 50mg to 100mg but I still feel really depressed and don't want to be here so days. Since quiting and losing this girl been so lonely and not really had anyone there for me.I can see light at the end of the tunnel but the tunnel is very long right now. Thanks for reading. Jon

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14 Replies

  • Posted

    Hello Jon, We have all messed up in our lives and have regrets, I have lost people i loved because of my depression. You are still feeling hurt and rejection because this girl left you. When we are depressed we tend to push people away, even if we don't realise it.Have you thought about counselling, it is non judgemental and confidential. Depression is anger turned inward and understanding and dealing with these feelings will help you in the future. You cannot change the past, cannot know the future but can deal wiith the here and now. Some things we have to put down to experience. Get some help soon.

    Best wishes.

    Elizabeth.

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  • Posted

    That is all part of the course of being a human Jon, we all make mistakes but the real skill is learning from them, improving our attitudes and carrying-on having learned some valuable lessons.

    Suffering from an anxiety disorder does not help the situation, and this is why  continuing to take our medications and being open about our problems is so important.

    Elizabeth has a very good point when she asks if you have considered being involved in some form of Counselling, as it can be extremely helpful in making us to come to terms with the life errors we have made, and prepare us for a much brighter and more productive future.

    All the best

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  • Posted

    Keep having bad dreams about her and got the flu this weekend..had so much bad luck for years now..I hope it ends to. Thanks for the advice it means a lot. When I am better will re pay back the favours people have done for me on here.
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  • Posted

    As everyone here said already: we all make mistakes.

    I lost soemone who i thought was the love of my life and couldn't forgive myself for a year. But you know what? That's just damaging, you can't change the past and at some point you will also understand that you don't wanna change the past.

    But for now, the only thing you have to do is move on. Understand that she isn't coming back. you can sit home and think of her which will change nothing. Or you can go out, meet new people and live your life. What sounds better?

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  • Posted

    You are not the first person Jon, and you certainly won't be the last person to suffer with depression, and at some point get hooked on recreational drugs.

    These drugs alter our state of mind and make us lose sight and involvement in reality, and so many things that are important to us.

    Life if it is anything, is a learning curve where we cannot help but make errors of judgement.

    But this process makes us so much stronger in the long run, and takes us on to a place where we later find peace, happiness and satisfaction..

    You know what they say Jon, 'there's no gain without pain', and so it is with life.

    You will recover from this experience Jon, and recover well, but as you do never lose site of the what you have been through, as this will help you to value the bright future that you have ahead of you.

    My very best wishes

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  • Posted

    Hey Man,

    Wake up... one girl lost , thousand more coming your way, may be a blessing in disguise. you have to move on, like she did. drugs are the last thing you need in your particular case. Man up.! its hard but do you really have a choice,? she is not coming back, so move on. That's what love does it hurts sometimes, but guess what you will fall in love again and certainly forget about this one , if anything take it as a good experience moving forward

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    • Posted

      It was the first time I was happy, she was stunning and perfect for me thats why I am so cut up because its partly my fault for being anxious and paranoid
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    • Posted

      Just acknowledging the facts is a great step towards moving past that episode of your life. Trust me they are more stunning girl out there than you think. You will recover. You were able to get the stunning girl once you will again . You have to trust yourself it seems hard but you have what it takes. Go out , dress up, act like a winner and you will be over this in no time
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  • Posted

    I understand, just remember you need to grieve after you lose a person you love, even if they're not dead. Breaking up with someone makes you feel really empty and can trigger depression and hopelessness. It's understandable,as presumably they were a big part of your life and meant a lot to everything that you are. 

    Dont do anything hasty. If you're feeling impuslive try to remember that time will help things fade away, and painful as it is you just have to wait it out. It's not worth killing yourself over other people, don't give them the satisfaction. We all have weaknesses and flaws and sometimes things just don't work out the way we'd like them to. It's really difficult. My boyfriend of 2 years dumped me because I was mentally ill at the the time without even bothering to talk to me face to face. I was devastated at the time, but now I realise he was cowardly and insensitive and I wouldn't want him back anyway. 

    Just keep plugging. it sounds like you're not devoid of all hope that things will get a bit easier, so just hang on. Try to focus on yourself and looking after yourself for the time being. It's natural to feel suicidal after somebody leaves you but it's best not to act on those thoughts impulsively. 

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  • Posted

    Thanks thats very kind of you smile I will take on board your advice
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