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Struggling Emotionally

Posted , 7 users are following.

sickanon2
sickanon2

Hey everyone, I hope you are all doing well on your recovery. 

For those if you who who don't know me, I am a twenty three year old woman. I became ill with GF on Christmas Day 2016, and was diagnosed with Glandular Fever in January 2017. So I am in my tenth month of the illness. Originally, I was told I would recover in three to six months, and so I continued working throughout. However I lost my job last September, and have had to move back in with my parents. Over the last two months, my main symptoms have been pins&needles / tingling all over my body, swollen glands, headaches and fatigue. I have been to two doctors since September, the female doctor believes I have CFS, as I failed to recover in six months, while my own GP (who originally diagnosed my GF) still thinks it's normal for me to be ill.

I am trying to be optimistic about a complete recovery, but I am really struggling at the moment. My boyfriend has been really supportive, and suggested we go holiday to London to lift my spirits. While I managed OK the first three days of our trip (with breaks/rest)for the last day and a half I have had a burning sore throat and extra exhaustion on top of my usual symptoms. I hadn't had a sore throat like this for a month or two, so I was starting to hope that my condition is improveming. I had hoped that this trip would mark a milestone in my recovery, and help reassure myself that I have improved. Instead I feel anxious and paranoid that this latest symptom relapse fits the hallmark PEM associated with CFS.

I am sorry for the wall of text. Some emotional support would really be appreciated.

0 likes, 15 replies

15 Replies

  • 40with.gf.
    40with.gf. sickanon2

    Posted

    Hey sickanon,

    thats the the exact day I went right down with glandular fever, the day it sent me to bed!!

    since August I've been improving and the last two ish weeks have been really good except this week!! We also took a 30 minute plane flight (half term) and I struggled so much that we had to book early flights to come home. I felt sick, was crying and was just tired. I'm back home and still struggling a bit.

    its no where near being in bed for days, but like you say, emotionally it's very difficult, I get nausea and just need to stop!! 

    Yourself, shawna mono and myself seem to be all trending the same way, which is reassuring that it's still gf and we are making progress but still get these 'dips' along the way.

    we just have to keep going, I wish it would end, I'm sure the end is near for us

    caroline xxx

    • sickanon2
      sickanon2 40with.gf.

      Posted

      You poor thing, I'm sorry to hear that you've had a tough time too. I just about managed the few days away, but honestly, if we had been planning to stay longer, I would have had to return home early. It's reassuring to hear of others going through similar experiences with this illness. My own GP has talked to me before about going on anti anxiety / mild anti depressants to cope with the emotional side of things. Up until now I have been dead against going on medication, but I'm starting to think I might need it to help me cope with these bumps on the road. Thank you for your reply, I hope things get easier for you!

  • Mono_too
    Mono_too sickanon2

    Posted

    Hi Sickanon,

    ​I am one year since diagnosis and just starting to come out of it. I think it is very normal to have relapse while trying to get back to a normal life, I had a relapse at 9 months and it lasted for about a month, My daughter has had it for a year in November, she has the same issues and is having a hard tie recovering, My granddaughter has had it since April, she is doing better but fighting the headaches and body aches.

    ​I honestly think that this virus has morphed and is stronger or maybe it is our immune system overreacting. I am choosing not to believe the chronic fatigue aspect, as I feel better than I have in the last year. I noticed that the symptoms would come and go and then they started to get lighter and lighter. They say the virus can be active in saliva for up to 18 months, so it make sense that the virus is still there to some degree. I hope you start feeing better soon.

    • sickanon2
      sickanon2 Mono_too

      Posted

      Thank you for your reply. I agree with you about having to try and make a conscious effort not to sink into despair worrying about CFS. When I'm struggling like I am right now, I find it hard not to be googling my symptoms, especially in relation to CFS. Hence why I came here instead. I could do with taking your approach of not viewing this illness as "I'm either sick or I'm better", and instead try to see the bigger picture. Although things got rough towards the end, I couldn't have even CONTENPLATED attempting a holiday abroad a few months ago.

    • Mono_too
      Mono_too sickanon2

      Posted

      Hi Sickanon,

      ​I agree about being able to do things, I have been to a wedding and a baby shower in the last six weeks, things I would never have been able to do a year ago, sometimes I have down days after doing things but at least I can make the effort.

  • brent_83487
    brent_83487 sickanon2

    Posted

    I can relate to your situation. I have been dealing with the effects of mono for over a year. I also had to work through this because I was going through a divorce and needed the income to support myself. It has been a long tiring rough road. I was sure I had cfs because I had all the symptoms. No sleep, poor vision, extreme fatigue and brain fog etc. I am starting to see some improvements. Some days are better than others. Depression has been a major factor for me. Not only have I been sick but I lost my wife of 19 years also. I just keep going hoping that one day it will all get better. I hope you get well. You have someone there to support you and that is good. Just try to take one day at a time.
    • sickanon2
      sickanon2 brent_83487

      Posted

      First of all, I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. It must have been incredibly painful to have to go through such a tough to experience on top of getting GF. It seems this illness often hits people when they're going through a stressful time. I was midway through an internship when I became ill, and felt massive pressure to prove myself professionally as a new graduate in my field. Needless to say, my illness has completely changed my attitude towards work / life balance. Even before I became ill, I have suffered badly with anxiety for many years. The physiological / emotional side of being ill has been as difficult as coping with the physical symptoms. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I am (reluctantly) considering going on anti anxiety or anti depressant medication. If it's not too personal a question, have you ever been on anything like that? Did it help? Thank you for your reply, I hope you continue to feel better!

    • brent_83487
      brent_83487 sickanon2

      Posted

      My doctor put me on some, but it was at the time I was having extreme insomnia. They made it worse so I quit taking them. I am not taking anything at the moment but vitamins. My sleep is starting to return. I average 6 hours a night now. For several months I was getting 45 minutes a night (very hard when working every day). I am starting to see some improvements as far as body aches and joint pain. This virus really messes you up mentally. You never know how you will feel.
    • sickanon2
      sickanon2 brent_83487

      Posted

      God I can't imagine trying to function on that little sleep! I have found for the most part, I sleep OK once my anxiety isn't keeping me awake. I have been taking supplements too. I'm not sure if they've really made a difference or not, but I feel it can't hurt to take them. I have heard that mood altering medication can have a range of side effects, so I'm reluctant to go on medication unless I really have to.

  • Mono_too
    Mono_too sickanon2

    Posted

    Has anyone heard of magnesium supplements for energy and low mood?
  • craig07920
    craig07920 sickanon2

    Posted

    Hey Sick Anon,

    So sorry it's been so tough for you still, I know what it's like and it's awful to go through it and I really just want to reassure you that you still can and I fully believe still will make a full recovery - please hang in there and don't give up. Mentally it drags you down to your feet, it's impossibly frightening to deal with, only those who go through it know really - but just want you to know I'm still thinking about you and remember you're still young, I had the virus when I was a couple of years older than you and it went the same length of time but things did get better - there is hope and hang in there.

    Craig

    • sickanon2
      sickanon2 craig07920

      Posted

      Thank you for your continued kind words and support. I have found this forum invaluable, especially in the seas of frightening information about glandular fever and potential consequences of the illness online. I hope that eventually I will be able to put this entire illness behind me and return to full health.
  • dan84262
    dan84262 sickanon2

    Posted

    Hi there.

    You're not alone. I'm also struggling emotionally with this virus. Before I got sick I already had depression/anxiety issues. I'm in my 6 week of the disease and I'm really trying to be very patient. Some symptoms disappear but others appear. I just scheduled an appointment with my GP because I discovered two swollen glands below my jaw, which weren't there before. I don't know... I hope it's nothing serious, but I can't help thinking about other serious illnesses.

    I'm tired of being tired, worried, anxious, sad. I'm tired of not knowing how I'm going to feel tomorrow. This has taken a toll on me and sometimers it puts me in a dark place, even though I'm trying to be strong. Right now I know I have to go to bed early if I don't want to feel exhausted tomorrow and it's weird because I didn't use to worry about such things. I feel as if my life had stopped the moment I got sick. But I know this can't last forever.... At least I hope so, all I want is a good ending (of mono) after all this pain...

    • sickanon2
      sickanon2 dan84262

      Posted

      You've been ill for less than six months, so rest assured you are not in the risk category for CFS at this point. As others have mentioned the first few weeks/months are the worst, but it does get easier. I didn't develope the swollen glands until around the same time as you. For sure go to your doctor, but from what I have experienced, that's normal. I found gargling with salt and water helps with the sore/burning throat. Also please if you can help it, DO NOT go googling your symptoms. I have suffered an awful lot of fear and sleepless nights through doing that. Hope you feel better soon.

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