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Hi, I've been on mirtzapine for over 2 years now and its not helped my depression or anxiety, and most of all... my sleep. The doctor made out like it was a godly drug at the time and it would make me sleep. Well its not worked and I've been constantly returning to the doctors, trying sleep hygiene and everything you could possibly think of, but its not helped my sleeping. The only time I feel truly asleep is when I get ridiculously drunk and pass out. I know this is bad, but I get so exhausted throughout the week that getting drunk and passing out feels like the only "real" sleep I get. I truly feel at my best with a hangover, "but at least I've managed to sleep!" is what I think to myself...
Don't get me wrong, whilst I was on the Mirtazapine the initial falling to sleep was a matter of when my head touched the pillow. I fell asleep instantly. Yet I woke up within hours and I'd find myself waking up all night, going to the toilet and only really getting light/unrestful sleep.
I know everyone dreams, but I literally remember about 4 dreams a night. They are so vivid. I can wake up, go to the toilet and go straight back into the same dream. Its like my brain never shuts off! So then I finally get up in the morning feeling extremely unrested. I have sore baggy eyes, no energy whatsoever and I just spend my day in self pity.
I am currently coming off the tablets and the situation has only gotten worse I don't know how but the sleeping is even worse than it was! I'm currently taking 7.5mg Mirtazapine to gradually get off it, and I can only think the worse insomnia is due to withdrawel? I don't know what to do with myself. I honestly feel mentally disabled. I'm young aged 21 and should be focused on my career, getting a girlfriend and all that nice stuff, but I cannot cope with any job I get because of this issue. Its just ruining my life... I've tried to look up my condition and the best answer I get is Narcolepsy, because I go straight into REM dream sleep as soon as I fall. Has anyone got any advise? I don't want to believe I have Narcalepsy because that sounds like it'll be something I have to put up with my entire life and its getting me incredibly depressed and down. Thanks for reading.
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