struggling to pull myself out of this pit
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Hi,
It's been a long time since I've posted on anything like this. I've struggled with mild Anxiety since I was 14. Previously I have had one really bad episode of anxiety where I needed to be off work, this was about 7 years ago. Until recently (the past month) I've been getting along fine. Last Thursday I tested positive for Covid and had to isolate for 10 days. I should mention that I live alone and had already been off work for 7 weeks (summer holidays). The first 4 days of isolation were ok, only mild symptoms but then suddenly on the Monday I had a massive panic attack. I was overcome with very scary and intrusive thoughts, I felt like I couldn't cope. No matter what I did I could not block out these thoughts. My breathing became heavy, I felt sick to my stomach and just wanted to cry. I rang my Mum who came to isolate with me and I also rang the doctor who put my citalopram dosage up to 30mg. That night I couldn't sleep, I was burning up, restless legs, negative thoughts continued. I rang the doctor again who then prescribed me 5mg diazepam and Trazodone to help me sleep. I have only taken 1 diazepam which relaxed me quickly and I have been taking Trazodone each night.
I'm feeling frustrated and scared because I'm now 6 days in and don't feel like the extra citalopram is working. The trazodone is helping on an evening but I'm worried that if I take a diazepam as well that I'll be too 'drugged up' or become reliant on them if that makes sense.
Any advice is greatly appreciated, especially on how you deal with intrusive thoughts and not letting them get the better of you.
Gemma
0 likes, 1 reply
jan34534 gemma94458
Edited
I am sorry you are going through this. I know how awful it can feel, Especially the panic and thoughts. The only thing that helps me to calm down is listening to a guided talk down for panic attacks that I found on YouTube. there are several to choose from. It feels like somebody is there with you which is comforting. They emphasize proper breathing to relax everything. When you get the unwanted thoughts try not to fight them because it can make them worse.
What I have learned is to calmly acknowledge them and then watch them drift off like a leaf on a stream. If you do this over and over eventually your brain will start to automatically do it. But you have to first accept that they are there.
I hope you find some comfort and dealing with all of this.
Have you ever considered getting some counseling for this to help you manage it? I do it virtually and I actually look forward to it because it’s somebody to talk to and get some ideas. Take care