struggling to stay alive

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i am finding it hard to find a reason to carry on i am ment to have depression and emtional unstable personality disorder i self harm from time i have tryed to talk to people and professionals but i am made to feel it doesnt matter if i live or die i dont know where to turn i have also endded up ringing samaritans but i feel no better i have the last few days turned to drink to numb how i feel and get me through the night i am barley functioning and i have children 3 at home has anybody got any advice cos i feel so lonley and scared and in despair please

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  • Posted

    Firstly think about what this is going to be doing you your children who are going to be confused and scared by what you're doing. Drinking will not solve any problems, it'll quieten them down for a little while but they'll still be there when you finish the bottle.

    The Samaritans are wonderful people but they are not doctors and can only listen to your problems and suggest help, much like this forum. They cannot provide a diagnosis or treatment.

    If you're self-harming go to A&E and demand to be seen by a member of the psychiatric staff. Stay there and keep demanding this until someone sees you, don't let any other staff members send you home or try to discharge you, every kind of mental health medication says to go straight there if you have thoughts of self-harm or suicide. The doctors in hospital know what they're doing and if nothing else it will give you someone who will listen to you, get you referred to a psychiatric unit.

    Go to a different hospital if you don't feel the one you're at is any good, the great thing about A&E is that you're not forced to go to any one unit and can go to as many as you can get to until you find one that's helpful. Is there anyone who could look after your children? It may be recommended that you stay in hospital if you're self-harming and suicidal to the point where the children you love are being shunted aside by the darkness.

    Your mental health is the most important thing for you and it's essential that you find help.

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  • Posted

    You must get help as soon as possible for you and your children.Dont think that you will always be like this . I think a lot depends on your situation at the moment . you dont mention the father of your children or if you have any family to support you .I think a lot depends on this .Are you on any medication that may have side effects thats pulling you down.There are so many thing that could be contibuting to your feelings of dispair you must see a person expert in this field . I truly sympathise with you becouse i was in the same place as you once .I hit rock bottem and realised that i had to fight and start to love myself and care for myself becouse if i didnte who would care for my 3 beautifull children . I wish you well you touched my heart today.my children are now in there 40 now and i would do anything to go back when i was suffering like you are now and make it better for them as they are suffering too seeing the most important person in there life in turmoil . I wish you well and send you all the love in the world and you will do it .ONE DAY AT A TIME .XXXXXX
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  • Posted

    I would see your doctor and ask if you can be put on a course of anti-depressant medication. I was

    feeling

    like yourself just over a month ago but feel a lot better now that I'm taking anti-depressants. Sometimes you need some help medication to lift your mood so that you are able to get back into your normal routineand go out more.

    Alcohol is a depressant and will just make you feel worse so you should try very hard to stay away from it.

    it's better to eat chocolate or some other food you like to cheer yourself up than drink alcohol. Ideally you should try to eat healthily but there's no harm in treating yourself when feeling depressed. Buy yourself

    something nice to wear or a DVD to watch - you need to focus on being kind to yourself.

    When you feel bad you should try and do some kind of activity eg housework or go for a walk -

    this will help to take your mind off yourself. If you are able to try and visit friends or relatives or ask them

    to visit you - talking to a friend or relative each day will help as well - either in person, on the phone or on

    the computer.

    Frequent social interaction with other people is important to help lift your mood.

    Depending on how old they are, do you take your children to a playgroup or nursery? You could look into

    this. There also might be parent support groups in your area - try looking it up on google.

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  • Posted

    Dialectical Behaviour Therapy is the treatment for your condition. Are you outside UK because over her it's called Borderline Personality Disorder and DBT is specific for you. I am assuming you are young as BPD is a disease of the young and with the right treatment it will burn out as you get older and wiser. Keep yourself alive and work with the Therapist and in a couple of years you will look back and think this is much better. Good luck
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  • Posted

    Your site name (teardrop) suggests that you are entrenched in your diagnosis. You need to work with your therapists and stop developing the problem rather than working on the solution. It is common (even amongst people with no mental health issues) to focus on a problem/situation without progressing to the solution, no matter how unpalatable the solution might be. It may be that you are entrenched in the seemingly impossible situation you are in and not even considering the potential of a solution. This too is common. Develop and work on the solution to your predicament and then try to put in place a plan of action to move forwards with your life. I too spent a lot of time avoiding an unpalatable solution but then I finally faced up to it after realising that I was the problem and not the problem itself. I had to act and no-one else. The sense of satisfaction was wonderful. Best of luck.
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