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Struggling to work

Posted , 7 users are following.

ChronicGirl
ChronicGirl

Hey everyone

I hope you are all well.

As the title suggests I'm REALLY struggling with work. I've always worked full time in fairly demanding roles.

After I developed fibro nearly three years ago I've struggled so much with working. I loved my job. I no longer have the mental or physical capacity to do my job due the symptoms of my fibro.

I have changed to part time and have a lot less responsibility. This has helped my symptoms a little but I'm still really struggling. I just can't do my job anymore and I'm no longer able to progress in my career.

This is so upsetting and I'm struggling to accept this. My rheumy has said its very important for me to do some kind of activity 2-3 times week.

Do I give up my current job and do something easier? I'm not sure I would cope letting go.

If you are able to share your experiences of work I would be very grateful, even just to know I'm not alone on this front.

Thank you

0 likes, 16 replies

16 Replies

  • cheryl21682
    cheryl21682 ChronicGirl

    Posted

    Hi,

    I was diagnosed over 25 years ago. I had to take some time off to get the flare under control and my boss at that time understood.  However, I am now suffering from daily, intense headaches, dizziness, muscule pain, and forgetfulness. My current boss is less than happy with me. She is a perfectionist, and needless to say my current condition has caused some issues. So work has become a problem for me as well. 

    I left teaching to take a job in another field and truly regret it. I wish I would never have left teaching. I know what a struggle it is to not be able to live up to the standards you set for yourself. You sound like you gave 110% before. Maybe you might have to be satisfied with only giving 90% now. I know that might sound harsh and I truly, truly don't mean it to. 

    From one perfectionist to another,

    Cheryl

    • ChronicGirl
      ChronicGirl cheryl21682

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your reply Cheryl.

      I'm so sorry you gave up something you obviously love sad This illness is truly devastating.

      I worked so hard to get where I was. But now my career is in tatters and I can't do it anymore, I just can't cope. Almost constant headaches, horrendous memory, no concentration, no sleep and constant pain. How can we function in demanding careers? It's impossible.

      You are absolutely right about acceptance and it's something that I must learn. It's just coming slowly.

      Take care x

  • jeanne81532
    jeanne81532 ChronicGirl

    Posted

    Hi, I worked full time in a nursing role when I was first diagnosed, and the occ. health department advised that I was no longer fit to carry out my duties safely for both myself and my patients. I also enjoyed the admin side of my job, and was offered a temporary contract as a ward clerk, which was for 20 hours a week, and was mostly desk bound. I enjoyed my new role, although after 36 years of nursing, it did feel strange not being 'hands-on'. However, it was quite stressful, and I began to struggle, then my husband was diagnosed with cancer, so more stress, and my daughter needed an operation which was touch and go whether she would lose her leg, so even more stress! As we all know, stress is the worst thing for fibro. Also I was diagnosed with really low Vit D levels, which was causing more fatigue and pain. So I ended up having a lot of time off, and struggling when I was at work. At the time my contract came to an end, I accepted I was no longer able to work, and claimed ESA. I stopped work in March 2015, and although there are stresses in my life, of course, overall the stress level is lower and I am able to not have to worry about work any more. Hope this helps. x

    • ChronicGirl
      ChronicGirl jeanne81532

      Posted

      Hi Jeannne

      Yes your reply helps a lot, thank you for sharing.

      You have been through so much, I'm so sorry about that.

      I was wondering whether giving up work and doing some charity work would better suit me? It's so scary.

      Wishing you less stress x

    • jeanne81532
      jeanne81532 ChronicGirl

      Posted

      Hi again, yes I think giving up work and doing some voluntary work is a good idea. There are lots of things you could do to get you out of the house, as you say, without the pressure to perform.  Or you could study, even. There are part time college courses, or there's the OU. There are certainly options available to you. Good luck! x

  • laura11452
    laura11452 ChronicGirl

    Posted

    Hi ChronicGirl

    I have to admit I couldn't work due to pain and fatigue.. In fact my life has gone from being very active to being stuck in the house..

    So I can totally understand how hard it is to come to terms with Fibro and how it effects us.  I would go by what your body can cope with if you feel cutting down your hours a bit more would help then do it.  Rather than walking away from your job altogether guage what you can cope with.  Then if things are still to difficult you can rethink what you would like to do that wouldn't be as taxing.. Work from home, get creative and sell stuff from home etc etc.. There is still so many doors open for you..

    Small steps rather than jump and leave yourself frustrated and upset that all is gone in employment..

    • ChronicGirl
      ChronicGirl laura11452

      Posted

      Hey Laura

      Thank you for your reply.

      My hours are as low as my employers allow, 8 hours 3 days a week. It's just too much. As well as being exhausting it's a constant reminder of what I can't do. Colleagues are moving up with their career and I'm just lagging behind.

      I'm looking at working from home or doing the odd day doing some charity work. I really want to get out the house but without the pressures of having to perform.

      Take care x

    • linda18441
      linda18441 ChronicGirl

      Posted

      I used to work 30 hours a week now due to cfs fibro and cronic back pain i have had to reduce to 24 hours. No one st work understands my illnesses. I had occupational health down they tols me to use a perch stool at work which is difficult as the others hate my fold up perch stool its been aggessively moved around and im supposed to have full use of it while there. Today i was in agony unyet i still had to bend and get to low shelves which my knees were in agony with arthritis and my back was is spasm. And i had to give up the chair so someone else could do ciursework on computer. I didnt argue as im past standing up for myself as it gets me nowhere. Ive had so many welfare meetings too and for some reason i think they think im going to make a miraculous recovery if only. Life sucks i am loking for different work but shop work is all i know so not sure if its going to be different anywhere else. I used to enjoy my job and feel important but now no one wants to talk to me so i feel lonely and lost. Not sure how much longer i can do this and am scared about the future with my daughter moving out soon i dont even think ill be able to buy food let alone pay bills so i really need a better paid job especially as they have bedroom tax now its no wonder why we are always stressed this illness is horrible. So dont beat yourself up just accept what you can do best wishes to you x
    • Guest
      Guest ChronicGirl

      Posted

      It's sad when this happens. I feel the same as you, I am just back from being off on the sick and my second shift was a 12hr shift n I honestly feel shattered after it...draining dealing with cash and trying to stay alert ??

  • jo55852
    jo55852 ChronicGirl

    Posted

    Hi

    I can sympathise with you totally. I have struggled at work for 2 years due to the pain, fatigue and loss of concentration. I have a responsible job which involves complete precision and lengthy concentration. I am now unable to do this properly. My employer has been fantastic, reduced my hours, offered flexible working etc but I know in my heart I cannot carry on. I'm currently off sick (again) and know I will not be returning. Whilst being glad of not having the daily struggle, I'm devastated as I feel I have lost my identity. I have worked for around 30 years and I'm worried how I will cope financially and I feel so very lonely, worthless, useless and very afraid of what my future holds.

    I hate to seem so negative but I feel only fellow sufferers understand the pain and fatigue.

    Love to you all.

    Jo xx

    • ChronicGirl
      ChronicGirl jo55852

      Posted

      It's awful I feel the same. I'm so lost and have been in denial for years. The last few years have been hell and trying to hold down my job has made my fibromyalgia so much worse.

      I know I shouldn't think this way but I desperately want to go back to who I was 3 years ago. I had just had a promotion and all my hard work was beginning to pay off. Then fibro came and slowly began to take everything I had and was away from me.

      I'm starting to accept that I have drastically changed and that I can build a new life for myself which is still meaningful and happy but it's still all too painful and I'm afraid.

      I understand you completely.

      Take care x

    • jeanne81532
      jeanne81532 jo55852

      Posted

      Aah honey, I feel for you, but want to share that giving up work was the best decision I could have made. I was worried about managing financially, but I claimed PiP before I finished, and ESA as soon as I finished, and my income is now enough, with my husbands salary, to enable us to manage. See my previous posts on this thread. xx
    • jo55852
      jo55852 ChronicGirl

      Posted

      Your thoughts and feelings match mine exactly. That gives me so much comfort and I feel less of a failure! I too wish I could go back to how I used to be, energetic, hard working and good at my job, but alas I will have to find another identity, I'm still me, my family and friends still love me. And I will take comfort from that.

      Take care xx

    • jo55852
      jo55852 jeanne81532

      Posted

      Thank you for your reply, it has given me hope! I too will look into what benefits I can claim although what I've read about claiming PIP looks really scary!

      Take care xx

  • Guest
    Guest ChronicGirl

    Posted

    You are definitely not alone. I have just returned to work from being absent due to bad flare up of Fibromyalgia..Costochondritis too. I have been in my present job for 15 years and I am struggling too. I deal with the public and work with money and I'm finding I cannot concentrate like I used to and it is somewhat embarrassing ??

    • ChronicGirl
      ChronicGirl Guest

      Posted

      Hi Jacqueline

      I know your struggles all too well. I feel like my brain just stops working. I can hardly remember things from an hour ago, the headaches and constant pain often means zero concentration it's no wonder I can't remember anything! Not to mention the side effects of medication.

      It's so embarrassing. Very few people understand what fibro does to us. You can try and laugh it off but the truth is it takes it's toll, I've spent many hours crying in the staff toilets after making a complete fool of myself from fibro fog.

      But we pick ourselves up and try again. I know it sounds really cheesy but I think us fibro suffers are incredibly brave fighters xxx

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