Struggling with bipolar for 3 years

Posted , 4 users are following.

Now i have been in a relationship, an abusive one, for one year and some months. Ive diagnosed when i was 19 and in my first year of college. I have been in a relationship for 1 year and a few months, lately he's been violent, like hitting me and leaving me with bruises all over my face. he does kickboxing btw so there was also choking and squeezing a lot like with his legs, making my liver hurt like hell therefore i was puking for 2 days. he says its because i made him that way and there were reasons to hurt me like that. before, it was just my disease that made me feel trapped, but now i feel like in a prison because of him. he abuses me verbally and physically, he calls me names and tells me that i am and mean nothing in this world. did i really deserved this for being depressed for months at a time? and jealous i must admit, but i explained that because of my disease i imagine things and things are real in my head, and i cant always see the reality.he was nice in the first few months...

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Dear andafreija,

    You need to leave this man NOW! Or as soon as possible, he is dangerous and you need to protect yourself from him. This is NOT your fault, he is a manipulative bully and not to be trusted. Involve the police if you have to and charge him with assault, but leave. He will erode your self esteem completely, and your depressions will grow worse and you will lose the ability to think rationally and to take action. But go. You owe him nothing, not even an explanation. If ypu feel bad in this relationship, it's because it IS bad. Tell anyone you need to, friends, family, therapist, GP, but don't isolate yourself. Believe me, i know a bad and dangerous relationship when I see it. Take care of yourself. Look after your own need and interests. Stay strong

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  • Posted

    Hi Andafreija!

    It was very brave of you to write this and I know how difficult it is to leave. I've been in your shoes. I was a victim of domestic violence. I made excuses for him, thought he would change and began to believe it was my fault. He did everything from biting to almost stabbing me with a kitchen knife. I know it's difficult but you need to leave him! You are in danger! Look up domestic assistance on line or better yet, go to your local precint (police). They can provide you with a list of organizations that can help you. I'm no expert but I suggest you plan your leave when he leaves for work. Plan it out and act normal or he will suspect something is going on. I believe the organization's will give you guidance on how to plan your leave. Please, please leave him because he is not going to stop! I was terrified but I left because I knew it would not end well. It's urgent you get out of there! One of the mistakes women make is not reporting the domestic abuse. If the authorities don't know, they can't help you. You need to report him and protect yourself. Keep your head up, stay stong and leave him as soon as possible!

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  • Posted

    Thank you all for your advice. About the police, we're from a really small town where everybody knows each other, our parents went to the same high school, plus the police would do anything about that around here, they wouldnt take me seriously. But I will leave. Until the last beating i took i had hope, but i have to do whats best for me. For a person who's suffered from depression so much time and had attempted suicide, it will be a big step. Actually standing up to myself. But i will do it, there's no other choice, is there?
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  • Posted


    I was that bully 15 years ago. I'll live with that for the rest of my life...

    I know small towns...

    He must have a friend that's totally against violence versus women; if you have trouble leaving him make sure his friend will know about his behaviour; make sure that word is spread to anyone who would make him uncomfortable about this ugly ugly issue... There's no shame in this for you ; only for him ofc.

    Good luck!

    P.S. : M y bipolarity screwed with every relationship I had till now, lately I wonder how'd it go if I dated a bipolar woman? smile


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