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It felt a bit strange me coming onto a site like this and discussing an intimate part of my relationship. But having tried everything I can think of. I thought, I have nothing to loose at this point. So may aswell give it a go.
I have been in a relationship with my partner for nearly three years now. During this time it has been very apparent that my partner has struggled with erectile dysfunction most of his life. This has caused breakdowns in his previous relationships, and is certainly having an impact on ours now.
In brief, my partner had a condition that caused a tight foreskin, it wasnt until me and him met thay I helped him to address this. As he has kept this a secret and not seeked help himself since childhood. He simply just got on with it, too scared to ask for help and admit that this was a problem. He tried to keep it from me but I soon figured out this was an o going problem. i prompted him to talk to his dad, being two men I thought his dad could offer advice I couldnt. I helped him seek help from his gp, tablets were thrown his way but they didnt have a long lasting effect. And at times didnt work at all.
He was diagnosed with a tight foreskin, which stopped the blood circulating. A condition I found out he had had as a small child alao. But nothing was ever done to properly address it. So sex has been painful ans unpleasant for him.
I helped him get the right help. As we were going six months at a time with no sex, no intamcy nothing. Call me selfish but i couldnt cope in the relationship for much longer with it being this way. But i have tried to stick with it and support as much as i can. He had a circumscion last year to help correct this problem. I have also helped him find therapy. something he dropped out of last year. Over a year on sex and intamcy is the worst its ever been. Meaning tjere is zero right now, he wont talk openly, he does not and has never masturbated in all his 30 years of life i have discovered. This is a deep psychology problem. And i am just at my witts end now.
It causes many arguments. Mainly started by me as he just will not communicate with me. He will not even try baby steps. All sorts have gone through my bead and I have thought its me, hes not attracted to me. Even though he always tells me its just a struggle for him to understand the problem.
I feel we have tried everything. I have tried eveeything and his effort is now none existing. which is just so frustrating for me.
We are due to get married next year and i feel this cant happen if this major part of our relationship is sorted. i can accept that he isnt someone that is going to want sex everyday day. Neither do i! but its something i feel needs to be apart of a strong long lasting relationship and marriage, even just a little bit.
Im basically looking for any advice, things ive maybe not tried. I love my partner, but this is destroying our lives at this point. Any help out there?
thanks for taking the time to read this.
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