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Depression is a beast that has haunted me my whole life for as long as I can remember, which is surprisingly pretty far back. I have coped by reading loads of self help books, my spiritual beliefs, antidepresssants, anxiety medications, exercise, counseling, group therapy, music therapy, art therapy, behavioral modification therapy, inpatient, outpatient...the list goes on. You get my point.
So, why, am I stuck right now? With all this knowledge and experience, how is it that I am stuck?
I am stuck in my bed every waking moment that I can lay there. GLUED. I envision myself getting up and doing house work, or beginning to prepare my garden for the Spring. I envision myself doing exercises on my living room floor, water walking at a community pool and walking as I used to do. I envision myself organizing my disorganized house.
But I just cannot get out of the mode of laying in my bed, watching TV and sleeping too much, under the covers with my warm little dog. I am in the worst shape physically that I have ever been and I am disgusted with myself. My poor dog is out of shape! Even though I have endured 5 major surgeries over the last 4 and a half years, I have no reason now to not be up and about. There is a part of me that would be happy to never socialize again.
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