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Stuck

Posted , 6 users are following.

DawnDedee
DawnDedee

Depression is a beast that has haunted me my whole life for as long as I can remember, which is surprisingly pretty far back.  I have coped by reading loads of self help books, my spiritual beliefs, antidepresssants, anxiety medications, exercise, counseling, group therapy, music therapy, art therapy, behavioral modification therapy, inpatient, outpatient...the list goes on.  You get my point.

So, why, am I stuck right now?  With all this knowledge and experience, how is it that I am stuck?  

I am stuck in my bed every waking moment that I can lay there.  GLUED.  I envision myself getting up and doing house work, or beginning to prepare my garden for the Spring.  I envision myself doing exercises on my living room floor, water walking at a community pool and walking as I used to do.  I envision myself organizing my disorganized house.

But I just cannot get out of the mode of laying in my bed, watching TV and sleeping too much, under the covers with my warm little dog.  I am in the worst shape physically that I have ever been and I am disgusted with myself. My poor dog is out of shape!  Even though I have endured 5 major surgeries over the last 4 and a half years, I have no reason now to not be up and about. There is a part of me that would be happy to never socialize again.

Any advice?

 

1 like, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • andrew051965
    andrew051965 DawnDedee

    Posted

    Hello.....im no professional. But i live with someone who suffers severe Anxiety., with only mild depression. She has her good and bad days. The bad days she will claim that whatever the activity...she can't do it. I encourage her to at least try....that i am proud of what she has accomplished, no matter how insignificant the task. But you have to try. You say you vision yourself doing things.....try to convert that vision into trying....and maybe...one step at a time....it may convert into doing. Small words i know. But one has to start....in order to finish. Kindest regards.
    • DawnDedee
      DawnDedee andrew051965

      Posted

      Thanks Andrew, I appreciate your remarks.  I know that once I can get that spark going, it will turn into full out fire and I will find joy in doing activities.  Just missing the spark.  I wish I had another adult in my life to encourage me, and I wish I had something to look forward to.  But it is as it is, and I need to be a self starter.
  • AbbyJ
    AbbyJ DawnDedee

    Posted

    I do know exactly what you mean. My bed is my favorite place on Earth. When I say that, people laugh because they think I'm being funny. I'm serious though. My favorite place.

    I could lay all day enveloped in my covers, watching crap TV, drifting in and out of sleep. To be honest, I'd prefer never even to shower. The longer I lay in bed, the better it feels. Like I'm becoming it.

    If I could do everything from the comfort of my bed, I would.

    Sorry, not much help. But, I do understand.

    • DawnDedee
      DawnDedee AbbyJ

      Posted

      Thanks AbbyJ.  You are right about the "crap" TV.  I even loathe getting up to empty my bladder. 
  • angie86937
    angie86937 DawnDedee

    Posted

    Are you still taking your anti depressants ?.  Something needs to kick into the brain to tell you that you actually WANT to do these tasks.  Yes I do understand . I've felt tormented by depression to the point I didn't know what to do next. Literally thinking to myself I don't want to watch tv, I don't want to read a book , I don't want to do anything. That's when you can be bordering on doing something really bad such as trying to take your own life. For some reason I did snap out of that mode . I've been  on seroxat for years now but still have to play around with dosage. Sometimes on 30mg and sometimes 40mg. Do you manage to look after your little dog ?. ( I'm a huge animal lover).  I will strongly suggest you go back to your gp for a talk about some meds.  I know other things may sometimes work but to be honest as I said something needs to get that brain into gear.  I've been there so I do understand

    love x

    • DawnDedee
      DawnDedee angie86937

      Posted

      Thanks Angie.  Yes I am on an antidepressant, Wellbutrin XL, 150 mg.  In my fourth week of it.  Maybe too soon to expect it to help altogether?  Yes, I do take care of my little dog, and I am also raising my three granddaughters, now ages 15, 12 and 11.  So they help me with our pets.  Little Saber is out of shape for lack of exercise, same as me, but he also had something go wrong recently, and will never fully trust his hind legs again, so walking he can still do, but jumping up onto the furniture is now gone.  An even greater reason to cuddle up with him.  He loves that.  His happiest place on earth is in my lap or cuddled beside me under the covers.  

      I rescued him from certain death when he was 7 days old and bottle fed him every two hours for weeks and we are very bonded.  I am his mommy dog.  

      I will leave a message for my Doc to ask iof raising the dosage will benefit me.  Thanks for understanding.

      Update, I just spoke with a nurse at my docs office and she said it will take Wellbutrin about 5 to 6 weeks to fully kick in.  So I have that to look forward to.

       

  • nacho82802
    nacho82802 DawnDedee

    Posted

    Go see a psychiatrist, medication helps a lot to get out from there. I thought that I could make it on my own so I stopped taking it, but I almost ruined my life in the following months. Something like venlafaxine or setraline plus what you know now... you would be unstoppable.
    • DawnDedee
      DawnDedee nacho82802

      Posted

      Thanks Nacho, I really want to be unstoppable again.  I like me when I am up and doing.  Appreciate you.
  • hypercat
    hypercat DawnDedee

    Posted

    Hi yes don't think about doing things.   Make your mind a total blank and tell your feet to move.   The more you lie there thinking of all the things you need to do the more you will talk yourself out of them.  

    Decide you are going to get up..  Make your mind blank and just tell your feet to move.   This sounds really silly but it does work.   Once you are out of bed and sitting in a chair make another decision.   Just 1.  Tell yourself to get something to eat and tell your feet move again.   Then so on 1 step at a time.   Try it.  x  

    • DawnDedee
      DawnDedee hypercat

      Posted

      Thanks!  You make a valid point about thinking too much and wearing myself out before I even begin.  I will try this and try not to overthink it.

      biggrin

    • DawnDedee
      DawnDedee hypercat

      Posted

      I did what you suggested and yesterday I stayed out of bed the entire day!  I cooked dinner for my granddaughters, (whom I raise) and their attitudes changed to happier and getting along with each other more!  Even though they are of ages to do most everything for themselves, they need me at the helm of our ship.  

      My doctor doubled my antidepressant dosage and I am sure this will help in the long run.  

      Yesterday was full of appointments, so I kind of had to stay up, BUT I usually would have gone to bed as soon as we all got home and lefet dinner to the girls, but I chose to stay up.  I even helped my youngest with a science project and delivered it to her school this morning.  I had the thought of laying back down this morning, but I have not.  

      Thank you for your "silly" idea.

      Love

    • hypercat
      hypercat DawnDedee

      Posted

      Hey DD that's great well done you.   I am so glad my 'silly' idea helped smile  Keep it up.   Bev x
  • DawnDedee
    DawnDedee

    Posted

    Wow, am I out of it.  I thought I had been on my antidepressant for 3 weeks but it is really 3 months!  So my doctor doubled my dose and now I look forward to the kick that I need to get me up out of my bed and on with life.

     

    • hypercat
      hypercat DawnDedee

      Posted

      Hi I really hope the higher dose helps love.   I  do this trick with things I really have to do,   especially when I was working.   I would sit here fretting away at having to get moving and feeling my body very slow and sluggish.   So I would tell my feet to get up and move.  And they did.  It helped me to go to work many a time wink   I know how silly it sounds though...  x
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