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I am 19 year old male who suffers from a generalised anxiety disorder for 2 years which is causing depression as well. I posted my story quit often on this forum, but I don't know where I could talk better elsewhere. I don't want to go too much in to my past on this topic, but if you have any question, ask them and I answer them.
I feel very sad lately, like I'm running out of ideas and hope. I often write down my thoughts, but I can't really talk about it with someone. I do see psychologist once a week, but I feel like that isn't enough. I need someone where I can talk more then that to receive advice and keep me positive. I do have my mom where I could talk to, but she got her own problems and I don't want to interrupt here with mine as well. I do talk with her about what I have occasionally. I find it quit hard to burden people with my problems besides my psychologist, but most of the time when I see my psychologist I'm not completely happy how it went. I have a conversation with her one hour, but due of my anxiety I experienced often that I didn't tell her enough what I'm bothered with.
My thoughts about everything in my life are very negative. I live very limited right now and I can't be the person who I actually want to be. I don't feel at my place on this earth. When I look at characteristics they almost are all negative. I never been happy in my life and I still am not. I'm afraid that my personal development has been wrongly forged in my youth and I can't change this, because it are too many negative characteristics. I wish I could talk about it with someone often, but I don't have such a person in my life. I feel sad, I want to cry, but I can't, because my mind blocks that. I made a list of characteristics which I want to have less and onces which I want to have more, but looking at that list makes me actually even more depressed.
Probably one of the last times I have posted here, because my hope and faith is drowning to a level of zero.
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