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I wouldn’t exactly call myself a ‘perfectionist’, though other people might. Before I do anything, I have to make a plan of how I’m going to do it, where and when. If I don’t follow that plan I will likely give up on doing anything at all. For example, I want to lose weight – I have written down the specific amount of weight I want to lose, which is fine, and I have written down my meal plan, the days I will go to the gym and what I will do. If I miss, say, Tuesday, I will literally wait till the next Monday to start again. I can’t count the times I have said I will “just start tomorrow” and never did. I have loads of recipe and motivational books, but they hardly get used, and the thing is, I know It would be easier to just stick to the basics. I don’t need fancy books but I want them because I think “okay, this will definitely motivate me this time.” I just want to learn how to stick to the basic stuff I need in life and try not to overcomplicate things which I do all the time. I am constantly stressed because I’m always procrastinating what I should be doing because of how long I spend and trying to get one thing perfect. I put myself down a lot, I think I’m dumb and stupid because I make so many mistakes and I know I need to stop this mentality.
I am bad at sticking to stuff mostly because of my depression. I’ve lost the motivation for all aspects of my life (weight loss goals, life goals), I can’t stick to them because I don’t see the point, perfectionism just makes it even worse. Why should I choose to eat healthy right now and go for a walk when I could order food and lie in bed instead? I know people would say it’s because the actions I take now will affect the future, but I have no clue what I want in the future and can’t really see the point in anything at the moment. I don’t have any passion and don’t know how to develop it. I’m always making excuses to not do everything I should be doing and I know I would be less likely to make those excuses if I was really passionate for what I was working for, but I’m just drifting along not really knowing what I’m doing so I may as well do what I WANT instead of doing what I NEED to do.
Any advice would be appreciated 😃
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