Stuck on 4mg subutex nowhere too turn

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i was placed on subutex after a year long codeine addiction 13 years ago i was kept. on it for 8 years then had a detox due to the most dramatic depressive state i was in i relapsed, back on subs second detox same story ,third detox i really thought id stick it out but the hellish depression that hits even though im on high doses of antidepressants i just cant cope with and too my horror relapsed last june ,then started buying subs off a so called friend as i just cant face going back to the drug and alcohol team we had a big falling out as i thought i had been krpt on subutex far too long in the first place 8 yeats and never going to recover.im currently on 4mg subutex but now my friend who im buying them off is running out ,i dont know what to do ,i feel like life isnt worth living anymore i cant seem to function without codeine but very soon im going to run out of subutex and the thought of the withdrawal terrifies me anybody with any advice please help

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  • Posted

    There is alot of advice i can give. The first is to go to NA you cannot do this alone.

    Pm me if you want to talk more. I have been where you are. There is a way out.

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  • Posted

    Hi tez

    i was on methadone for nigh on 8 years and have been clean now for 2 years however i suffered terrible depression and ocd after stopping which lasted nearly 18 months

    i am now in a much better place with the help of 125mg sertaline and 7,5mg mirtazapine ... but you need to be patient and think that everyday you dont have opioids is one step closer to your goal

    i was scared of withdrawal but theres loads of help out there .... local drug support centers are geared to helping you get off these horrible opioids

    but remember theres many people who stay on subutex and methadone for life .. and if thats what is required for you to function then so be it ... dont feel embarrased if you need this as your not alone

    i beleive i kicked it succesfully due to my military background .. im a fighter and have seen terrible things while on active service in northern ireland and bosnia . and these were ( in hindsight ) probally the reason i turned to methadone in the first place ( the block out things )

    please keep in touch ( pm me ) on how your getting on and i wish you well with whatever route you take

    take care

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