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stupid, stupid,stupid

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h1954
h1954

So I had lots to do today. Worked out when I would do them. Lunch at 1 pm. Something else at 2 , something else at 3, relax with tv at 4.. But lunch didn't happen until 1:30, and I had a glass of wine with it. Then what I had planned to do at 2 ended up being more complicated and time comsuming than I'd expected, so I just carried on drinking and now it's gone 4 and I haven't done what I planned to a bottle and a half of wine later. I'm still working on it and will finish it, ( the work that is) but won't do the rest. And now I'm really annoyed with myself because I didn't even really particularly want the wine I had with lunch, it was just an "I'm having lunch" thing. But now I'm on a roll. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

0 likes, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • nicole36330
    nicole36330 h1954

    Posted

    I do that.I'll just have one glass with lunch but end up drinking the whole bottle,can't do what I wanted for the rest of the day as can't drive so then it's round to the shop with the dogs for another bottle.But at least the dogs get their walk I suppose
  • ADEfree
    ADEfree h1954

    Posted

    This is a process, h1954, maybe you didn't hit your goal this time but you're moving in the right direction. Back off, take the larger view and ask "Am I winning?". Be be willing to use the "blips" as a learning experince to improve on the process and be good to yourself.
    • h1954
      h1954 ADEfree

      Posted

      Thanks ADE, trouble is, I'm not sure I am winning. First time for a very very long time hubby has come home and found me drunk. Yes, I can say it - drunk. He didn't think I would bre able to cook supper, wanted to get a take away, but I was determined to prove that I can cook. Am cooking now. And drinking lots of water.
    • ADEfree
      ADEfree nicole36330

      Posted

      Yes indeedy, Nicole. First dry week in over 30 years and I have a six pack of my favorite staring at me every time I open the fridge. I seem to be indifferent to it, it doesn't call to me at all. 
    • ADEfree
      ADEfree h1954

      Posted

      How are you managing the AUD, h1954? Are you getting any kind of medical assist for it? 
    • h1954
      h1954 ADEfree

      Posted

      Hi ADE, generally managing OK, thanks. Never planning abstinence, usually doing okish, actually drinking far less than I was, but bad day today. Not medicating it - had really bad reaction to nalmefene, doing fine generally, bad day today. Drank loads of water and cooked a lovely supper. Lots more water now at 9pm in bed.
    • ADEfree
      ADEfree h1954

      Posted

      Glad to hear you're pressing forward. 

      You might want to check out Naltrexone instead, seems to have fewer/less intense side effects for many. Worth a talk with your doc about it. I think you have to be dry to get it on NHS, CThree Europe might be able to help you with the details about that. 

      There's also Campral, you have to dry out for that too and it takes a couple of weeks to kick in. I haven't used it myself, but I hear that things that normally would trigger drinking no longer do on Campral. Might take a fair bit of determination to wring it out of NHS though, seems to vary area by area as to the hoops involved, be it Selincro, Naltrexone or Campral. 

      Good job on saying no to more vino this evening and I hope you get a nice, restorative sleep tonight!

    • h1954
      h1954 ADEfree

      Posted

      Thanks, ADE, have thought a bit about naltrexone, but not yet dîscussed with gp, who is very clued up and helpful. I know I say to others this is an illness, but personally I don't want to medicate it. Not entirely sure why. Maybe I'm in denial, don't know. Today was a bad day, but after food and about a litre of water I'm OK. Bed time now, but not sleepy, that's the problem with going to bed relatively sober!! Might do a couple of puzzles.
    • h1954
      h1954

      Posted

      Done 3 puzzles, now feeling sleepy, hope I sleep. Nite nite
    • ADEfree
      ADEfree h1954

      Posted

      Well, if you can take a number of runs at it and get the job done without the meds, that's all good too! Better, even. 

      Sleep well, h!

  • Paper_fairy
    Paper_fairy h1954

    Posted

    Sorry to hear about your blip, at least it didn't last 4 weeks like my last binge. Hope you are back on the sober bus again now!!! Lots of love xx

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