Sudden depression which makes me feel like am not in love anymore.

Hey girl hey,

I don't know if this will help, but I am going to tell you, you are not alone. I know it might not help to hear it, but I am going to tell you anyway.

My boyfriend and I are very anxious people, but we also suffer with extreme depression. It is hard, but we manage it.

The first thing my therapist told me is, "you have to acknowledge it." You cannot deny it or try to hide it. The only thing you are feeling with absolute certainty is your depression and now the anxiety that comes after. You have to be honest about it. Honest to yourself and those around you. It won't be easy to admit it to him, but if you leave it unsaid, your anxiety is going to create worst situations in your head. You won't even realize you are pulling away, but he will. He is your partner, and he should know what is going on in your head.

Secondly, you said it yourself. You are feeling a loss in interest in so much around you. If you are feeling it everywhere, then don't feel so quick to think it is your boyfriend.

This past year has been hard on all of us. Even if we think we made it unscathed, we haven't. I had an overwhelming feeling of 'relationship anxiety' about my partner. I was scared that, because I wasn't happy, it had to be because of him. I was looking for the bad things about him and drawing conclusions back to my abusive exes. I wanted someone to tell me that we should break up, because it had to be that, right? It wasn't until he started to shut down with his own depression that I realized I loved having him in my life.

Eventually, I decided I needed to start seeing my therapist. It is hecka expensive, but I needed her to help. It took some time, and I still struggle with it. But I learned what anxiety wants me to feel. How it feeds off of insecurity and worry, and I wanted to starve it. Anxiety is fine, it has kept us humans alive for a long time, but it shouldn't be eating more than all my other emotions.

My advice, tell him you are feeling anxious and depressed. Ask him if he would mind being there, but allowing you to have some space to heal your brain.

hi!! finally ive found someone in the same situation as me. please feel free to message me if you need to!!

me and my boyfriend havent been able to see eachother much because of lockdown. my anxiety and depression made me question my feelings and made me feel literally empty. like numb. it strained our relationship and its still a struggle but with patience and support we are trying. you dont know your true feelings until you try. and then, whatever happens atleast you can say you have tried.

it seems like you really care for him and this emptiness has obviously thrown you off guard. ill give you some advice which has been given to me.

1. dont make any rash decision about ending things. anxiety and depression can cloud your vision and cause us to make irrational decisions. you cant guarantee youll feel any better even if you do break up.

2. talk talk talk! no matter how uncomfortable it feels. let him know, let him see how its affecting you. let him see your vulnerable-ness. if hes a kind, understanding man he will WANT to support and help you. communication really is key.

3. reach out to family and friends. dont however, take their advice literally. some people will tell you to focus on yourself and break up with your S/O as they want whats best for you. but WE know its not as easy as that. we love and care for our boyfriends, and wont give up without a fight.

4. know that what your feeling is completely normal. its okay to have doubts, its okay to not feel 100%, especially when your mental health is at stake. take some time to yourself. go on that walk, read that book, meditate and practice mindfulness. you dont have to make any decisions yet. dont feel pressured into anything.

its so hard, i know. and i hope you find this comforting. this year has been tough on everyone. you are not alone ❤️