Sudden realisation

Posted , 8 users are following.

My partner/husband of 14 years (Michael) announced today that he is an alcoholic, I find this hard to take on board as whilst we both enjoy a drink it has never been to any form of excess.  He was dianosed with acute depression a short time ago and virtually cut all alcohol out, but suddenly I discovered that he had drank a bottle of wine at 5.00am whilst I was asleep.  I was aware that over the past few weeks he has been having a few sly drinks but nothing to cause any real alarm.  Now he is completely wrecked, exhibiting all the classic signs of being drunk after only two beers, not strong ones, saying that if he had these it would stop him drinking ever again.  Can I believe this, I have absolutely no experience of alcohol abuse.  He is normally a great guy with a fantastic job, I really don't know how to cope or what to do to help him.

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  • Posted

    Hello, it is worth starting by understanding that this is a medical disorder and not a lifestyle choice. A good start is to read the following page which explains the disorder from a medical point of view. You will be doing a great service to those who suffer Alcohol Use Disorder, including your husband, if you call it that rather than using the old-fashioned term 'alcoholic' which has all sorts of negative connotations.

    He is struggling badly to deal with the awful cravings that he has for alcohol which are not his fault and he is likely to under report what he has actually had to drink, simply because society sees those who drink so much as having serious character flaws. He does not, he is not well, but there are treatment options that work.

    Please read:

    https://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder

    And be there for him. People with this condition can be very difficult to live with but he needs your support and that will make a big difference to him.

    https://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder

     

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  • Posted

    'exhibiting all the classic signs of being drunk after only two beers'

    People who regularly drink heavily, do not get drunk after two beers, because they build up a tolerance to alcohol. I suspect that he would have drunk far more than the drinks you have seen him with.

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  • Posted

    hi. Nobody can function if they drink a whole bottle of wine at 5am and then go to work. Will be found out very quickly. He still drinks in secret I think since it is not logical that he gets drunk after two beers. Somewhat intrigued.
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  • Posted

    I would agree with the other guys.,.. he maybe is drinking a lot more than what you think. It is even more obvious as you point out that he drinks at 5am in the morning. Nobody can say that is normal. I would honestly say say you and him need to talk more. Bear in mind he may not want to fully open up so be gentle with an open mind. Clearly he is not in a good place but that doesnt have to be forever...if it is worse than what you think he needs to see his gp. There are meds and talking therapies. He needs you but you also are needing support too so if you have a close friend then open up too, otherwise we are here all the time. Trust me i know that the support on here is amazing so keep coming back. xxxx
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