SUFFERING SEVERE DEPRESSION AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AFTER COMING OFF SEROXAT OVER THE PAST 4/6 WEEKS.

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 BEEN TAKING SEROXAT FOR ABOUT 15 YEARS AND FOR MANY YEARS HAVE HARDLY SLEPT AT ALL, WITH TERRIBLE NIGHTMARES WHEN I DO, SO I DECIDED TO ASK MY GP TO WEAN ME OFF THE DRUG.  THIS SHE HAS  DONE GIVING ME DIAZAPAN TO SUPPORT ME I SUPPOSE DURING THIS TIME..  YESTERDAY SHE STARTED ME ON A NEW DRUG TO TAKE ONLY  AT NIGHT CALLED MIRTAZAPINE, WHICH SHE SAYS I CAN TAKE TOGETHER WITH THE DIAZAPAN.  SINCE TAKING THE NEW DRUG LAST NIGHT AND 2 DIAZAPAN TODAY I HAVE SLEPT VIRTUALLY ALL DAY LONG.  MY DEPRESSION IS WORSE THAN IT HAS EVER  BEEN AND I HAVE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS ALBEIT I KNOW I MUST TRY TO SAY ALIVE TO SUPPORT MY 94 YEAR OLD MAM WHO I VISIT WEEKLY IN RESIDENTIAL CARE WHERE SHE NOW IS, LIVING 100 MILES FROM ME.  I HAVE NO INTEREST IN ANYTHING, MY SHORT TERM MEMORY IS VIRTUALLY NIL (AND I WORKED AS A FULL TIME PA AND PERSONNEL OFFICER FOOR OVER  41 YEARS), AND DO NOT REALLY WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE.  KNOW I AM BEING A COWARD AND RIDICULOUS BUT THIS FEELING IS DREADFUL.  IF IT HAD NOT BEEN FOR THE ALMOST TOTAL LACK OF SLEEP DURING THE LAST FEW YEARS WHILST TAKING THE SEROXAT AND THE HORRIBLE NIGHTMARES I ALWAYS EXPERIENCED WHILST TAKING IT, NO DOUBT I WOULD HAVE CARRIED ON WITH IT, BUT COULD STAND IT NO MORE.  I HAD A TERRIBLE FIRST 30 YEAR MARRIAGE WHERE I WAS TERRIFIED BY MY EX-HUSBAND, WHO ABUSED ME ON ALL LEVELS, AND COULD NOT BELIEVE MY LUCK WHEN WITH MY CHILDREN'S HELP I MANAGED TO GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP.  I AM NOW MARRIED TO A GOOD MAN WHO FINDS IT VERY DIFFICULT TO TALK ON ANY LEVEL ABOUT MENTAL ILLNESS, ALTHOUGH HE IS SUPPORTING ME WELL DURING THIS PARTICULARLY DOWN TIME.  HOPE SOMEONE CAN GIVE ME SOME WORDS OF WISDOM TO HELP ME THROUGH THIS AWFUL PERIOD.  I AM VERY DRAWN TO REFUSING TO TAKE THEE MIRTAZAPINE HAVING READ THE PAPERWORK WITH IT TODAY IT SOUNDS REMARKABLY LIKE SEROXAT, WITH THE SAME SIDE EFFECTS.  I GUESS I FEEL I AM VERY MUCH BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA?  ANY ADVICE GREATLY APPRECIATED.  APOLOGIES FOR BEING SUCH A MISERY.   SINCERE REGARDS,   JILL

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    Please go and see an emergency room hospital. You can get through this.
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    • Posted

      Hello Ryan

      Been on an emergency appointment with my GP and I am truly feeling less disturbed now.  I want to get well now, and the 'couldn't care less' feeling has reduced greatly.  I know I must fight the good fight and I will do that.  Thank you for caring enough to reply.  You are obviously an A1 person and I wish you a long and healthy life.  I now feel confident I will get there and must learn to be a bit more patient with myself.  Sincere regards to you,   Jill

       

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  • Posted

    Dear Jillian

    sorry you are experiencing problems. Please, please speak to a friend or the Samaritans tonight and see your medical professional tomorrow if possible. Antidepressants take a few weeks to settle before you can feel the benefits. Personally I find Mirt the best AD I've ever tried. It is sedating particularly when first taken so I'm not surprised you've slept most of the day as you also took diazapam. I really would not take both tonight. Try Mirt only. I urge you to seek medical advice tomorrow. God bless you, you are in my prayers tonight. Sheila x

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  • Posted

    This is after one night of taking Mirt?  It is NOT just a sleeping pill.  I was in withdrawal from Effexor without realizing it and was put on Mirt for sleep and appetite, told that it was "safe and gentle" and that I could play with it and increase the dosage as needed.  Well, initially I felt better and it was wonderful to sleep, but soon I found I needed to increase the dosage because my depression was coming back and I was so apathetic, I didn't care about anything, even to feed myself.  Soon, I found myself on nearly the maxiumum dose and as bad off as ever; never have I felt so unmotivated and disinterested in life, EVER!  I had a hard time getting a follow up with my doc and so suffered for nearly another two weeks in this state before seeing him.  He reinstated the Effexor.  About this time, I learned about AD withdrawal and realized that the horrible depression and anxiety I was having before going on the Mirt was due to withdrawal, not relapse (I had gone off last fall, a much too fast taper after 12 years on Effexor!).

    I am now trying to taper off the Mirt since all it has done is caused me to gain weight.  Yes, I could sleep, but I just want off all of it.

    I would be hesitant to continue with the Mirt and increase the dose for fear the same thing will happen, that it will poop out quickly and leave you still feeling miserable but now on a high dose.  I would caution against just stopping the Seroxat; cold-turkey with these drugs can cause serious withdrawal effects that are worse than the symptoms you were trying to treat to begin with. You can't just stop these drugs, even to switch to a new one. One does not necessarily replace the other.   I have done a very slow taper, 10% cuts every 3-4 weeks, and even then I am experiencing Mirt WD symptoms.  So, be very careful!  I have seen many people on psych forums that are on cocktails of 4, 5, or 6 drugs, miserable as ever.  These people have been switched from one drug to the next as each one doesn't work, but all the switching around is damaging and likely causing the symptoms that the docs then add another drug to try to treat. We trust our docs to understand this yet they seem to be globally dense about the subject of withdrawal.

    I am so sorry you are in misery. I'm curious to know if you have been on any other psych drugs that you are now no longer taking.

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  • Posted

    Please go back so your doctor or to hospital,I took mirtizapine for 12 weeks last year and it was awful,suicidal thoughts can be a side effect from  this medication,I walked around like a zombie,I couldn't think or remember,Please ask the doctor for something different,Will you please let us know that you re ok. X
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    • Posted

      Hello

      Thank you so much for your reply.  I am due to visit my GP next Tuesday and will discuss things through with her in detail.  This has been a horrendous experience, but I know I must fight this and survive.  Thank you for your concern.  I am less distressed today and hope this improvement will continue.  I want to enjoy the rest of my life and maybe that is the one thing that will pull me through the dark times.  Take care of yourself too.  Remember you are very important to this world.  Anyone who cares like you is a very special person.  Sincere regards,   Jill

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  • Posted

    You do not say when you stopped taking Seroxdat.   After 15 years you would need to decrease it VERY gradually.   Did you?   Your problem sounds to me like withdrawal effects from Seroxat, not the starting on Mirtazapine.  

    I have Googled Seroxat (= paroxetine) and found a BBC Panorama article pointing out that you are very much not alone.           

    Paroxetine is an SSRI like many modern antidepressants but is one of worst to withdraw from according to Wikipedia.

    Mirtazapine is NOT an SSRI, so will probably affect you differently - hopefully make you better.   Give it a go! 

    The paper that comes with these drugs  covers pretty well all possible side effects.   The fact that two drugs have the same list does not mean they will have the same effects on YOU.  It just means these are the side effects found in a group of thousands of patients.  

    You say you have hardly slept at all for several years.   You should have seen the doctor before.  Sleep is important.  Lack of sleep can cause depression or worsen it.   It did in my case.  I take an SSRI for anxiety, but because it stops me sleeping  I take Mirtazapine for its sedative action at low doses.  

    Perhaps you would have be better off staying on the Seroxat and taking the Mitazapine as well.   Just an idea to put to your doctor.      

       

     

       

       

     

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    • Posted

      Hello

      Thanks for your advice.  Been taking Seroxat for 15 years as an OCD sufferer following a 30 years marriage where I was abused at all levels and threatened not to dare to think of leaving!! But realised Seroxat was not working as it did, and the horrendous nightmares that I suffered occasionally with it was something I could obviously do without. So  I have been weaned off the Seroxat for about 4 to 6 weeks, being prescribed diazepine for about 3 of those weeks to take with my greatly reduced intake of S.  Two nights ago my GP started me on Mirtazapine which has helped me sleep and my tears have dried up a great deal.  My daughter has been on the phone (she lives a couple of hundred miles away) after doing internet research on Serozat, and is sending some of the info to my husband and I by post. She thinks that being without the Seroxat could be the main cause of my dreadfuly mental state.   My GP has said that I can also continue to take diazepine as well as the Mirt for the moment, but I really do not want to just sleep night and day!!  She has asked me to go and see her next Tuesday and I will talk things through with her again.  She has seemed anxious about me and paid great attention to me rather than studying her computer screen for the whole time of the appointment.  This last month has been nothing short of a terrible nightmare and I am praying hard that I will soon become well enough to be a useful member of society and enjoy the many wonders of this amazing world once again (and at least just try to not worry too much about the endless horrible things that seem to behappening so regularly nowadays??).  Thanks you sincerely for your concern and your reply.  Greatly appreciated.  Hope you have a long and healthy life.  God Bless You,     Jill

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  • Posted

    Not much I can add to the advice so far given, except to say that Mirtazapine has worked wonders for my depression and anxiety, and it helps with sleep too. It might take a little while to start working. Also I haven't gained any weight in the 6+ years iI've been on it. Unfortunately you don't know what will work for you until you try it, but i wouldn't want you to be put off from giving it a chance by the negative posts. The best idea is to see your doctor and work out what to do with him\her. I hope you find something that helps.
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    • Posted

      Hello Pixie

      Thanks so much for your reply.  You might have noted I took the Seroxat for about 15 years and my GP has been weaning me off it for about 4 to 6 weeks.  I have know for about a year the Seroxat was not working properly anymore, and my memory etc. was getting worse and worse.  She gave me the diazapine to help me during the cold turkey phase, especially when it came to taking just one S every other day.  Then almost a week ago when I had totally come off the S, she has prescribed the Mirt, also saying that I can take the diazapine as well if necessary.  So for two nights the Mirt has helped me sleep   -   and hopefully I will not gain weight taking it.  I am already a size 16 so could do without another problem!!  Perhaps this horrific time I have had feeling utterly suicidal has been the shock to my system of the loss of the Seroxat.  During this period I have also suffered the nightmare of having to make the decision my 12 year old Schnauzer had to be said goodbye to because of his ill health, so things have been like hell on earth I must admit. I realise I have only been taking the Mirtazapine for 2 nights, but have just realised my constant crying has ceased to a massive degree.  So, with another appointment my GP has planned for me for next Tuesday, I am hoping my mental health will gradually improve.  I have suffered from OCD since before I started the Seroxat following a marriage in which I was constantly terrified of my abusive and threatening husband.    So, with everything crossed I hope the new M drug will help sort out this confused soul, and let me enjoy this world which besides the horror it seems now to suffer constantly, still has a magnificent and amazing side too.  Sincere regards to you.  Thanks again.  Jill

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  • Posted

    Hi Jillian,

    So sorry to hear you are having such a otten time of things.  I was on Seroxat for 6 months, but had to come off it due to dreadful stomach cramps/diarrhoea.  I am now on Amitriptyline but have got to change again as Amitriptyline has given me tinnitus!!!

    My thoughts now are to quit all of these drugs for at least 6 months to allow my system to settle down, as you have diazepine to help you maybe you could consider doing the same?  PLEASE keep in touch and let us know how you are, my doctor is of no help whatsoever, I don't think she knows much about antidepressants, seems to spend most of the time staring at her screen for information?!?!?  Please don't feel the need to apologise, these drugs are supposed to help us and yet they put us through hell!!

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Valerie

      Thanks so much for replying.  As I said I have been taking Seroxat for 15 years, one heck of a long time I realise.  The diazepine which was only prescribed for me because my GP was weaning me off the Seroxat starting about 4 to 6 weeks ago, does seem to keep me calmer, and as yet I have only taken Mirtazapine for the last two nights.  They have let me sleep which is a miracle in itself for me, but although my GP has said I can continue to take some diazapine during the daytime as well, they also make me want to sleep. Obviously sleeping all day and night is not going to cure any of my problems really, is it?  I suffer from OCD, a nightmare itself, and coupled with living for 30 years with someone who abused me at all levels and whom even when the children had grown up and left  home, I was still terrified to risk leaving him because of the threats he made to me if I did dare to leave him.I currently have no desire to 'be here' the way I am, and have to admit I am a bit afraid to just take the diazapine and nothing else.  Perhaps you are right and I need to give it a go.  I will think about what you  have said and on a visit my GP has asked me to attend next Tuesday, I will talk through it  with her. She does however appear somewhat 'nervous' about how she is dealing with my problems, and I realise my case must be very difficult for her.  I do not envy her trying to sort someone  like me out.  All I want is a peaceful life, where my brain 'worries' are mild enough to allow me to enjoy this beautiful world and my wonderful  family.  I have a Mam aged 94 in residential care, who is thankfully in good mental health, and I know I need to be here for her.  Currently I  am feeling so low I am finding it very difficult  keeping intact my realisations of what anything 'stupid' I might do will impact on loving family and friends too. I want to live a long life, but obviously with a brain that is 'peaceful and sensible' enough to let me  enjoy this amazing world.  Thank you again for your reply.  Be careful what you chose to do with the drugs you take, and change your GP if yours does not seem able to look you straight in the eye when you are talking to her   -   rather than staring at the screen they all generally seem glued to.  I must admit my current GP does NOT gaze at her screen, at least with my recent and current problems. My very best wishes to you for a long and healthy future.  Keep your chin up and fight the good fight.  Surely we can both to it?  Regards,  Jill

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    • Posted

      Hi Valerie,

      Sorry to hear that neither Seroxat nor Amitriptyline agreed with you, but they and other drugs do work for other people.  It is not true that they put us through hell as a generalisation.  It is just that the people with bad side effects post on forums more than those who are all right.          

       

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  • Posted

    Hi Jillian,

    you sound much better than you did a couple of nights ago, I'm so relieved for you. This is a great forum for support, when you reach out people usually respond because we all understand how depressive illnesses can take us to the brink. Just a thought - have you tried meditation in any format? It works, it really does. I realise when your head is full of frogs leaping the last thing you think you can do is meditate. However there are lots of aps and video/audio on the Internet free of charge. If you are interested, have a look at 3 or 5 minute meditation. Also, try to getting out for a walk each day, fresh air and sunlight increase seretonin, I believe

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