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I've been with my husband for 16 years.. since I was 17 I'm not 33.. we've never been 100% happy. Life happened got pregnant young had another baby at 21 just fell into a routine and we've been together ever since.. I suffer from bipolar and severe depression and I am medicated thru my dr.. he suffers from depression and is untreated.. the past couple months things have drastically went down hill with u him and I. We do nothing but fight and argue. I understand all husbands and wives argue but it's to the point that it's a daily routine. I'm constantly being accused of cheating.. I'll admit there for a while I Antes to find someone else and was on plenty of fish. Wanted to leave.. he forgave me(so he says.. still gets thrown in my face) we moved on and tried to be happy but it never works.. we might go a few weeks without fighting but then when one little argument happens it is blown in a big ordeal.. I just want it all to stop. I feel like my life is worthless.. I've been talking to a guy friend that is a friend to both me and my husband and because I don't let him read every little thing this guy and I talk about I'm cheating. Last night a fight started my daughter told him I was talking to this guy and deleting messages I freaked out on her and broke her phone. In the process of breaking her phone with a wrench she hit the wrench and I now have a goose egg above my eye. I apparently broke our bedroom tv also.. I don't remember do this.. my husband then told me he was taking the kids this am and filing an order ofor protection against me and telling the police I threatened to hit my daughter with this wrench.. so in trying to save my marriage I've deleted Facebook and trying to make this work.. but the thought of just ending my life is there continually nagging at me. Just hit a tree going as fast as I can or just swallow a bottle of pills or put the car in the garage and leave the car running.. I don't know what to do! I know I need help but I'm afraid that if I seek the help I do need that he will use it against me and take my girls cause he's told me he'd do that before.. can anyone help?!
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