Suicide is painless

Depression unfortunately is a very illness and because you have no physical symptoms that people can see then they do not understand what it is you are feeling. My advice is to talk to people who do understand like the depression alliance, mental health foundation and mind organisations. Here you will find people who will listen to you and take you seriously......i hope this helps as there are people out there who do care and will listen.....take care.

Hi, I am having a very low episode at the moment. I flared up this morning just because i couldnt find something. I felt in dispair, i needed to talk to someone, i wanted an appointment with my doctor but guess what .....sorry no appoinments available!! so I found this website and read your comment.....this changed my thought pattern. I immediately began to think of your plight and not my own! We just need someone in the same position to understand. I know where you are coming from, it takes time and with time you will recognise the symptoms as they arise and this will help you to move on. I have had depression and anxiety now for 14 years, with 4 healthy daughters I have to keep on top of my feelings to avoid them suffering too! Even though I have it, generally most of the time i am on top of it now, but i just dont let my guard down. If you need to chat please reply back. I was very concerned about the headline on you post \"suicide is painless\" yes it may be, but not to those who find you, they will then have a life of feeling like this.

Kiki, I'm not sure if you will think this is relevant or of any use but I am reminded by your post, of a time when I was feeling really low and had suicidal feelings.

It was stupid o'clock in the morning and I really felt low and suicidal but I decided that there was one last thing I would do and I think I felt that this last action would determine how things were to turn out and so I phoned the Samaritans.

Now, I never ever expected to phone the Samaritans in the whole of my life! But as there wasn't anyone else around and because I needed to just talk to someone (ANYONE!) I gave them a ring. After 20 minutes of phaffing (is that a word?) around and getting quite frustrated with the old guy on the other end of the phone (who didn't appear to be listening!) I said goodbye, hung up and went to bed.

The next morning I woke up still feeling frustrated about my phone call to the Samaritans and felt cheated that the person on the other end of the phone hadn't helped me one single bit and so I carried on with my life.

A few weeks later I was thinking about the phone call to the Samaritans. I had made that phone call with the intention of it being my last talk with someone but instead I got so annoyed with the Samaritan that I had completely forgot about suicide. Intentionally or not that old boy on the other end of the phone had probably saved my life.

That wasn't my last talk with the Samaritans but I'm pleased to say my other phone calls were much better in that I felt I was being listened to and I even visited one of their branches to talk to someone. I owe them an awful lot (Ipswich and Chelmsford branches) and they really made a difference to me!

Since this episode I have gradually rebuilt my life and now have an incredibly understanding partner, 4 children (all girls), a nice house in a nice area and an excellent job. I've bounced off the bottom a few times and rebounded back but for me things have got better. I still get annoyed when someone says stupid things like \"things will get better\" but it's not because I don't believe them it's just that I get frustrated that they can't tell me how to make it better or how long it will take to get better.

As you might have gathered I certainly find talking (or posting in forums) helps me. I don't always realize how helpful the talking was at the time but sometime later the penny usually drops.

I had friends and family that said helpful things like \"pull your socks up\" or \"it will get better given time\" or perhaps worse that they understood and that they have felt the same and then they go on and tell me how bad things are or were for them! In the end I went to see a counsellor and really started to progress although I must say that you might want to try one or two counsellors first to find the one that you work with best.

If you don't feel like talking to someone because they can't understand then why not try writing things down. Nobody has to see what you wrote and you can destroy it whenever you want. This was really difficult for me to do but after a few attempts it got easier and I began to feel the benefits.

It will get better. When you feel really, really low, try to remember a time when you didn't feel quite as low. It might be as recent as earlier that morning. You'll find that even the lowest low doesn't last forever, and that's what you need to try to hang on to when it's really bad.

Forget what other people say, they have no idea what's going on in [i:bf969ce316]your[/i:bf969ce316] head. Even those of us on this forum only know what it's like for us, not you. That doesn't mean your alone though, because we all know what it [i:bf969ce316]can[/i:bf969ce316] be like, and reading through the forums most people seem to be at least a little bit above rock bottom if not higher.

And by the way, suicide is [i:bf969ce316]not[/i:bf969ce316] painless. Last time I tried it hurt like hell and I had to wear a scarf for a week in Summer to hide the bruising. Even if you find a painless way to do it, imagine the pain that the people who love you will feel after your gone. But for your own sake, it's worth hanging in there.

They say the decision for suicide is a hard one but when you have depression it's the easiest one in the world. I came close to driving my car into a brick wall last year but at the very last moment i turned the steering wheel.

The Samaritans helped me and my GP was ace. He put me on Citalopram for a year which has helped me change my mental state. I am now much more positive and proactive about my illness. I also started a open university degree in psychology.

I still get very bad days and my husband always knows when i'm not myself as i don't do daily chores, wash my hair or talk with my boys, but when I come out of it I run around the house trying to overcompensate. I try not to feel guilty but with children it's hard.

I called the Samaritans and the woman (Leicester branch) asked me why i wanted to kill myself, and i remember clearly saying that i just wanted it all to stop. she told me that if i died I could never change anything; but if i just gave myself one more day to TRY then who knows where i would end up.

I know depression is different for everyone but all I can say is that if talking and medication helped me it may help you too. and if you commit suicide you are not giving yourself the chance to get well. And you could get well, y'no.....

I agree suicide is not painless and there is no painless way 2 do it iv tried. I am in the opposite situation neo my best friend of 22 years commited suicide 20 months ago she died in my arms nothin i could do.She was my life line only 1 i could talk 2 closer than my own family.Its not easy im still hurtin. Cannot explain the pain and sense off loss only way comes close emagine your lowest day triple it and then you r locked in an empty black dark room. Would u want that 4 your loved ones? Ask 4 help no shame in it and u not alone.

Talk is cheap and you find those giving such advice are the lucky ones not to suffer from Depression. Nothing anyone says to you at your lowest seems to make any difference and we all seem to want to cope in our individual way.

All i can urge you KiKi is to take one day at a time,and maybe avoid company which brings you down by offering such negative comments.

Nobody wants to feel the way we feel,and i can TOTALY sypathise with you,it's hard and time does move slowly when your low.

11 years i have battled with this illness, and i have been Hospitalised 4 times and attemted Suicide 3 times and yet i am still going on because sooner or later things have to get better????.

The spells of good days [which are rare] outway the many bad one's,and I remind myself[although not easy] when low, that i have been here many times and a good day or many of them will come again.

Talk to those who Love you and understand what your suffering,it's not something to hide or be ashamed off,loads of Celebrity Figures are even doing document's now to show the world how they and ourselves suffer.

Don,t give up M8 talk, and take the rough, But enjoy when it's smooth, eh were all here, thank heaven for Website's such as this.