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So Ive tried talking to a lot of people on forums about depression and a lot of them seem to be way higher functioning than me.. Ive literally tried everything there is to try to get me better and nothing does anything at all. Ive tried every med there is for both depression and anxiety and nothing has done anything at all. Im currently undergoing ECT and im on my 30th treatment, and i actually seem to be getting worse. Ive tried mindfulness groups, and i still see my therapist every week. Ive even tried inpatient therapy for a more intense therapy, and that didnt work.
Thing is, i still am so close to killing myself every day. I cant function, had to drop out of school and lost all ability and desire to be the great person i used to be. I cant get out of bed anymore.
The crazy thing is, i have the most incredible wife in the world that understands how difficult it is to deal with depression. Her, and my dog are the the only reason im alive. I just feel like it would be so much easier on her if i wasnt here and she didnt have to deal with my crap.
Does any one else have treatment resistant depression like this? I dont want to be alone.. i just need someone to talk to. How do you motivate yourself to do anything?
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