Supporting a depressed partner. Hitting breaking point.

hello

I think i need some advice with a tricky situation im facing... my boyfriend for 8 years is under a lot of stress and pressure. He has been diagnosed with depression and had previously received treatment for it which worked well for him. However at the moment he seems to be in a very bad place owing to a variety of factors. The main one being debt, it is honestly overtaking his life and mine. I'm not clear on his debt situation but i know its bad. There are weeks where he will completely stop talking to me, which is usually caused by money issues. We don't live together so him not talking is like a complete blank out, where i dont see him, dont hear back from him. On top of the debt, he is also working mad hours. He works in hospitality and i think also struggling with the long unsocial hours, his time at work also appears to be a blocker to receiving treatment as i know he needs to give time for that too. Potentially facing burnout from work.

His debt at the moment is unaffordable. I have no ideas how he is handling it. He has told me his head is so messy and doesnt know what to do, but everytime I offer help he doesnt engage with it or me, so it really is impossible to get through to him. Earlier this year he had plans to propose to me but there was a money incident so he aborted plans last minute im guessing not out of choice, but it was quite bad as he had contacted my family to let them know of the proposal but obviously it didnt go ahead. He avoided the situation with me then nor my family and has unfortunately just created a very bad impression of himself and again went in a blank out for about 2/3 months. I am completely lost in what I can do right now. I havent told my family about his personal problems as he likes his privacy so they just see someone who is blanking me and are not getting a great impression of him so i feel like i have no support from my family towards our relationship which is hard to swallow.

I really dont know what to do. I am actually less concerned about our relationship right now and more concerned about his debt management, working hours and mental health, what can i do if he doesnt even talk to me? Im scared he will be making himself worse and worse on all fronts. any advice on any of the above would be much appreciated, is there a way i can help him get ontop of his debt ?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read. Im really lost.

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