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Supporting someone with anxiety

Posted , 6 users are following.

Lois123456
Lois123456

My partner has panic disorder, agrophobia, OCD, fear of being alone and sometimes fear of me going out specifically. Everything is planned with a capital P, often involving other family members to support in my place - and even then it sometimes doesn't go to plan. I'm just trying to reach out, it can get lonely. Making new friends is difficult because of the stress around getting out and equally letting people down. Old friends don't bother so much. My family are understanding of his circumstances but also worry about me living my life. I've always been supportive but it is getitng to a point now where it is interfering with my quality of life. 

0 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • jess345
    jess345 Lois123456

    Posted

    As someone who deals with this I can say yes I completely understand where you are coming from. Does he happen to be on any medications? Has he been able to go to therapy? Right now my husband is dealing with me but I left to go stay with my parents so I didn’t interfere with his life. I’m getting the help i need and on medication. The medication is helping so I can go out again and I don’t have all those thoughts. If you can give him the push to to talk to a doctor or therapist then you guys can start living your lives again especially you. It’s hard I completely understand but give him that push to go get help especially if it’s effecting the quality of your life and his.
    • Lois123456
      Lois123456 jess345

      Posted

      Thank you for your reply. What made you chose to live somewhere else? My partner is on medication, at this moment in time he doesn't want to go to therapy/doesn't think he can engage with it. He has his own way of dealing with things, and any suggestions I feel are pointless. Good luck with your therapy. 

    • jess345
      jess345 Lois123456

      Posted

      I decided to live somewhere else because I couldn’t be alone and my husband couldn’t just stay with me but also he didn’t understand what was going on so I felt selfish so my mom offered to take care of me until I got better. Plus he had a lot going on so I didn’t want to hold him back no matter how much it sucked to leave. How long has he been on it? Have you noticed any difference? He might be in denial a little that he needs help. But you have to try to get him there, that’s the only thing that will help you guys.!
  • Ivebeenthere
    Ivebeenthere Lois123456

    Posted

    Hi lois, Ive been in his position not to long ago and im still struggling with things, but not as bad, He deffo needs some counseling, It really does help, And im sure he knows what its doing to you, But anxiety can make you selfish in a way, when you feel the way he does right now its hard to think of anything else, if that makes any sence, and i know this next bits going to sound a bit harsh, but leaving him by himself when his feeling very anxious will help him deal with it, thats what my counsellor told my faimly to do with me, even when i got on the phone to them crying my eyes out they still never come running. Btw im a 26 year old male and i cried my eyes out😫. I hope very soon he gets better and the pair of you and get on with a happy life. All the best. And if you need to chat for any tips i use just ask.

    • Lois123456
      Lois123456 Ivebeenthere

      Posted

      Thank you for your reply and I'm glad your doing better. The problem with leaving is that there are unhealthy coping strategies in the mix which end up making the situation even harder. I really struggle with the calls to come back, the 'it's your fault it turned this bad' when I get back. He does things his way, I can't see him accepting therapy. 

  • serenamay
    serenamay Lois123456

    Posted

    I completely understand how frustrating this can be. i am saying this from both sides of the coin. that obviously seems confusing but i was once and am now this kind of person terrified with every since diagnosis . we cant help it its brain chemistry . ive been to many doctors some good some not so good some bad. although i may be on the same meds at one point in time thing change! Thebody and mental state change. The things you are describing are completely normal of a person like myself with this  ( i hdont like to say these disorders because are we actually in disorder?) 
  • serenamay
    serenamay Lois123456

    Posted

    i had previously just commented

    i was not able to finish as of some sort of technicality

     

  • mariano
    mariano Lois123456

    Posted

    I am exactly the same with my husband...wont let him out of my sight.except he has his phone on the ready...I feel such a burden..but deep down I need him to support me,your husband cant help it. He. doesn't know where to turn. and is relying on you,It is hard on you..I know...but this anxiety is the Devil . . its the worst thing anyone has to live with...You are doing your very best..but he needs you now, more than he ever did..our social life is nearly non existant. we go to family weddings.Funerals,gatherings,but thats it.but I would give every penny i had to get rid of this..as im sure your hubby would too..its just so hard...xxxx..

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