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Supportive/non supportive

Posted , 5 users are following.

Janeyoceans
Janeyoceans

Hello, I am 55 average female. About 4 months ago I was discharged from ICU cardiac floor. My heart returned to sinus rhythm on it own after a day and night went by of treatments. Presently I have been weaned off all meds. I am under observation and work closely with my electrophysiologist. Here is my situation that I hope others in this group could help me with... The other day my husband quipped a comment "...oh, so now you have a heart condition." This remark is in response to my need to rest a minute. I work a lot, I commute long distance, I am very active and I am not vocal about any ailments or drama. I find his comment unlike him. We have known each other 5 years and married 1 year. Any advise? Thank you

1 like, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • linda51222
    linda51222 Janeyoceans

    Posted

    Hi,

    Not really sure what to say to that except he is probably worried and finds it difficult to understand, as you are so busy and probably look well as many AF sufferers do, he can't see whats going on on the inside and those that haven't suffered with the palps have no idea what it feels like and how scary it can be, even when its happening many don't show any outwards signs. maybe you should sit him down and explain what happened to you.

    Good luck

    L.

    • Janeyoceans
      Janeyoceans linda51222

      Posted

      Thank you for your thoughts to this. I am going to get some (not many) supportive brief articles on the subject and talk a bit about AFIB etc. I just think that the stay on the cardiac floor would have launched some serious concerns and interest in AFIB. He must think since I am discharged I must be cured now and that any symptoms or connection to the AFIB heart condition now has got to be only attention seeking behavior. Thanks again.
  • glyngreen9948
    glyngreen9948 Janeyoceans

    Posted

    Let's hope it doesn't happen to him he needs to read some of the post on here he might understand what we have to put up with
    • Janeyoceans
      Janeyoceans glyngreen9948

      Posted

      Thank you I will include the AFIB post community and let him pick thread to a question. I too think that he is I knowledgeable to this subject. But he meant to hurt me with such a quip. I think if he understood the magnitude of this disease he wouldn't have been so snide. Take care, Janey

  • simon56380
    simon56380 Janeyoceans

    Posted

     Communication is always the key. If it's bugging you enough to post on here, I think you need have a chat with about how his quip made you feel. Perhaps outline the potential for this to develop into something more serious if risk factors (if you have any) aren't addressed.

    Well done on being med-free😀

    Because this kind of event can obliviously affect one psychologically, but what the hell, listen to your body, if you feel you need to take a rest, take a bloody rest!

    i didn't listen to my body, thought I had the flu or a virus or something and kept soldering on thinking that I'd push through it all. ended up with Afib and a tachycardia induced cardiomyopathy. Have been cardioverted 6 times in the last 16 months and have just had an ablation 16 days ago.

    So yes,  listen to your body. (Am a 55 yo male)

     

    • Janeyoceans
      Janeyoceans simon56380

      Posted

      Wow my friend. You're a real trooper. Thank you for your heartfelt response. Your advise is supportive to how I have been carrying on. I slow down and sometimes stop. Yes and I agree it is time to talk. I came here to this community and I learned that my gut feeling was right. He is either afraid or doesn't have much knowledge to AFIB. I believe that there is some insensitivity also but you all politely dodged that personal opinion. Thank you for your input. I find all your responses helpful. Best to you Dear!
  • kristi18883
    kristi18883 Janeyoceans

    Posted

    I totally understand were you're comming from. My husband didn't understand my heart condition (BAV), because here in the UK, they weren't monitoring it and I was on no meds, but I knew when I didn't feel wekk. He would chastise me when I said I didn't feel well and couldn't join him for (whatever) because I was too tired from working all day. He sometimes accused me of using my heart conditon to get out of things.

    Then, I was diagnosed with moderatly leaking BAV and 5.1 cm aortic anuerysm, and he finally understood. 

    I think sometimes men need solid evidence, to understand. I've since had the surgery to replace and repair, and I struggle with Afib and tach every now and again, and he's the first one to want to ring 999 or take me in. 

    Google your ailment and find everything you can on it to help him understand what it is, and what you are going through. He will get it eventually. 

    • Janeyoceans
      Janeyoceans kristi18883

      Posted

      Thank you for your honesty and sharing your personal experience. I will put together some tangible hard evidence to let him read through. Hopefully he will accompany me to my 6 month check up. I hope you feel better now. Best to you. Janey
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