Surely Anxiety can't be this bad?
Posted , 5 users are following.
Have posted on here before and just wanted to ask others if they felt the same. I have what has been diagnosed as Anxiety/OCD/Depression and I just feel so awful all the time...all day...even when I sleep am waking up with panic attacks. I have terrible depersonalisation/derealisation nearly all the time...terrible obsessive thoughts about illness,going mad etc. It like I am so tuned into every symptom and sensation in my body like I get a pain in the leg am obssessing over a blood clot,a pain in my head and thinking am going to have a stroke or that I have a brain tumour. I been taking meds for 3 weeks and was obsessing over taking them this morning in case I have terrible side effects which doesnt even make sense because have been on them 3 weeks with hardly none! So I just wanted to ask other how bad does Anxiety get because I can't believe that Anxiety can make you feel this bad all day every day?
1 like, 5 replies
Rainboy clairebear1976
Posted
I simply can't tell you how it grieves me to read of one more person suffering and struggling on a daily basis with severe anxiety, compounded by depression and OCD.
What can I tell a lady like you, something that she doesn't already know? It's clear from the passion and the despair in your post, that you are not a 'beginner' who is wondering what is happening to them and starting to imagine all kinds of things that trigger that upward spiral into chronic anxiety.
Let me tell you my situation in a very brief soundbite. When I was younger, I started experiencing physical symptoms. They would range from dizziness, shortness of breath and palpitations, right through to severe headaches, loss of voice and honestly, just about everything in between.
Test after test after test - all clear! So I am in a state of complete and utter confusion and convinced people think I am making things up. Yet these symptoms are real, the pain is real. That's when the emotional side kicked in and my brain took hold of one simple thought and within a few months had designed and perfected a web of trickery that no matter how I reasoned didn't make sense. You have just written feeling the same way about your meds. Something makes sense, then instantly another thought says, 'Oh no it doesn't'. Eventually you think you are going crazy and withdraw, the perfect recipe for depersonalisation and isolation to thrive in.
I won't bore you with the story, but ended up going to see a private Doctor about three hours’ drive from where I live. My wife accompanied me. I sat with him for over an hour answering questions, filling out a couple of forms etc, and then he said "Right, is it okay if we bring your Wife in now"?
She came into his office and sat down. The Doctor didn't say a word to me or even look at me, but instead spoke directly to my wife. I can remember his words as if it were yesterday. "Well D......., I'm very sorry to tell you that your husband is very seriously ill"!
This guy knew exactly what he was doing, because he had anticipated my reaction. I immediately burst into tears, and I don't mean just crying, but literally sobbing my heart out. The box of tissues was already in his hand and his arm on my shoulder a second later.
He knew why I was sobbing. RELIEF!
The diagnosis was severe clinical depression, chronic anxiety, and social anxiety disorder. The rest is history. In the years that have followed, I have had some good days, even some good weeks, yet, in spite of medication, counselling, and a great deal of very hard work by me on myself, every so often, I feel just the way you have described yourself this morning. Three years ago it even cost me my job. A good job.
This isn't going to make you feel better Claire. I wish it could. But, it does answer your question. Yes, "Anxiety can make you feel this bad all day every day".
Here is the good news though. Only for so long! With the right combination of Medication, Counselling/Therapy, Support and Guidance, plus a determination to put into practice some tried and tested techniques until you find the ones that work for you, the days that you feel like this will diminish and in time you will hopefully have more good days than bad.
Do not despair. Nothing dreadful or unique is happening to you. I and thousands of others know exactly what you are going through. You are far from alone and you have our unfailing support, love, and good wishes to get control of your life back.
God Bless you and I hope you manage to find some relief over the holiday weekend.
clairebear1976 Rainboy
Posted
Rainboy clairebear1976
Posted
No thanks needed. It would be a cold-hearted person that read of your plight and didn't feel compelled to respond.
I wasn't convinced that what I was trying to say would be of any use, but I can see you have embraced my comments and seen what I was attempting to do.
It is such a kindness of you to acknowledge me. If anything I said "touched" you, then I couldn't wish for a greater reward. I hope to be around here regularly, so always feel free just to drop a line if you are having a tough day and I will respond if I can.
Your reply is lovely. Thank you so much. I will go to bed tonight feeling warmer inside.
Warmest wishes.
tracie20455 clairebear1976
Posted
medication
working part time
support of parents
no alcohol
faith healer
relaxation
controlled breathing
no google of symptoms
no rushing anywhere, planning my time
eating well
Suit24 clairebear1976
Posted
Meds - I really wouldn't worry about these. Doctors tend to know what they are doing with dosage. When you start a treatment you will be on a very low dosage with very little risk of serious side effects. Personally been on many meds, never had a bad reation apart from a very slight upset tum!
Health - I know you said you have OCD so tellign you not to worry might be a tricky one, but worrying about something doesn't make it any better. It is actually more likely to casue further anxiety. Catch 22! I know everyone with an anxiety disorder will sympathise with this...
Diet - Try to eat well and maybe worth doing an exculsion diet just to see if it makes a difference. However, I have done this with little success. No caffeine, no gluten, no diary etc etc. Did a day of drinking a mega ton of coffee the other week just to see if it would have any impact. It didnt... Just had to wee a lot!
Fixing it - This is the tricky part. You cant fight anxiety as it will get worse. You need to almost accept it. Its part of you. Hard pill to swallow, but yea. Think about the life you want to lead - work towards it small steps at a time. Set yourself challenging but doable goals. Some days you will be able to achieve these goals, sometimes you won't. It doesn't matter. All that matters is you will try again tomorrow.