Surgery looming and wedding 9 weeks later...

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hi ladies I have seen a private consultant who after some euro dynamic testing, said I needed surgery. It was a bit of a blur but I remember him saying he will be rebuilding my walls and something about mesh. I'm petrified and anxious about surgery so close to my wedding. In your opinion is it enough time to recover? My dress is very fitted and I've lost 3.5 stone to fit into it, so swelling is a big worry! I'm seeing him on 24 March so he can run through the op, but I'd like honest opinions from someone that's been through this. Many thanks,!

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  • Posted

    May I ask how old you are? I am 20, I had my son when I was 15 and was cut completely from front to back and it never went back to anywhere near normal. I started having issues holding my pee and immediately after having him had very hard difficulties getting out bowels. I had my surgery Friday, March 6th and I am doing very well. I drove 2 days later, I feel a lot better than most people do, but I am also one of the youngest people to ever go through this, and my mother says that I am healing so fast because I am so young. I do spot pink on days that I do too much, but I don't think I am swollen on the outside at all. I had a posterior vaginal repair, rectal prolapse, hymen removal (big flap of tissue right inside my vagina that wasn't stitched back after being cut from front to back so it lost all feeling and had to be removed), and also a labia reduction (that was my little extra plus out of it, finally tight again and got the giant labia reduced in size).

    Are you normally active?

    Do you normally heal fast or get over things fast like being sick and stuff?

    This was my first operation ever, so I didn't know what to compare it to, but I've always been really healthy, I weigh a little too much for my height (I weigh 155 and I am 5'2)

    I do strongly believe that my doctor was less invasive than most. I didn't have any internal pain, and the only thing that has actually hurt was the stitches on my labia. I do have a heavy ache feeling in my rectum from time to time when I am up too long, but that is it. I am just trying to give you an idea of what it feels like after so you will be able to assess whether or not you want to be healing and planning your wedding all at once, because that is a lot of work, and you are supposed to take it easy. If you are young or heal fast and your doctor does is really good, you may be fine. Where are you? I am in the US in Indiana.

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  • Posted

    What was your initial problem? Not sure from what you are saying if its incontinence from the bladder or rectocele or cystocele, or uterus prolapse,or a mix of several problems.  However, I would say 9 weeks to a wedding is not really enough time. My mantra is 100 days to recover with 1% improvement each day.    If your husband is really understanding then maybe you'll be OK,but I wouldnt like to say . No one can predict how quickly or well you will recover,and preparing for a wedding could be exhausting at a time when you must rest with your feet up at least one hour per day.  I'm nearly 3 weeks past bladder repair with tape and posterior repair  and still get some swelling and tiredness.
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  • Posted

    Hi Emma, yes it is scarey...when is your wedding? I'm am now 6 weeks post op and I am in no shape to cope with a wedding at all.  I would suggest you might need many months between the surgery and the wedding and even then you will probably be tired a lot as your body heals.  ThenI think of the honeymoon...yikes, you better be VERY healed!  Perhaps a delay of the surgery if possible might be the answer.

     

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  • Posted

    Hi Emma,

    I had TVT bladder repair last year with anterior repair and I would say that 9 weeks is nowhere near enough time to recover.  Organising a wedding is very stressful and I was bloated for a good number of weeks after surgery and was very sore too.  I am wondering if you are in the UK as mesh has been banned in Scotland but not England and Wales.  I had a little mesh when I had the bladder repair but I would think seriously about having anymore down with the issues that there have been.  I think you should speak to your consultant and have him explain very clearly what procedures he is planning on doing so you then have a better idea before making a final decision.

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  • Posted

    Emma it sounds to short a time for recovery before your wedding. Especially if Dr wants to use mesh. How old are you, what are your symptoms. What else have you tried.

    I had a hystectomy last year and bladder prolapse repair. sadly the prolapse came back and now also rectal prolapse. I was referred to a more specialist NHS hosp- Liverpool womens hospital. The Dr was very nice. She told me that the mesh surgery is not guaranteed to work (after 5 years 40% of patients will have had problems). I am only 55 and still sexually active but am going to try and carry on with the pessary which is holding things up. also try to lose more weight my BMI is 31. She will see me again and reassess but said the longer i could live with my symptoms the better.

    Try and get as much information as possible i think some of the surgeons rush into things. In hind sight i wish i had not had my hysterectomy ( which was for fibroids) and bladder repair as i think there may have been better ways to treat my symptoms.

     

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  • Posted

    Thank you all for taking the time to reply.

    im 42 with a 3 yr old and 15 month old. My initial problem occurred after a forceps delivery with my daughter. I have had quite bad stress incontinence since, and have been seeing the physio dept for the past 6 months which has made no difference.

    the euro dynamic testing showed my bladder had dropped and I think the mesh was to push that back, he also wants to repair my walls.

    im really thinking about postponing the op after reading your comments, it's such a worry!

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    • Posted

      Can you ask your physio to try a pessary. The ring pessary may work for you and with that you can still have intercourse. They do a specific spessary which is especially for stress incontinence. Also with your youngest at only 15 months there may syill be intenal healing taking place.

      try and do anything you can so as not to have the op. can you feel a bulge? or discomfort when walking?

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  • Posted

    Hi Emma,

    I am 42 and that is exactly why i had the operation for stress incontinence.  It was a TVT repair with mesh which was just over a year ago.  I too attended the physio department but without success.  The only thing I would say is that my bladder  prolapsed again after 6 months and I now have a small bowel prolapse.  I do not want anymore surgery and my surgeon agrees as he is limited in what he can do.  My stress incontinence is 100% cured but have two prolapses now.  Seriously consider before doing anything.  My kids are 18 and 15..............thats how long i put up with it for.

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  • Posted

    Hi Emma

    wow, havent you cut yourself a huge piece of pie to deal with!

    Firstly, congratulations on your impending nuptials girl, how lovely xx

    Ok,

    Just purely from a wedding perspective, it's not 9 weeks really is it, unless you've delegated all of your preparation to other people who are totally in your corner. Or are you cool giving it all to someone else to organise?

    Are you just planning on turning up on the day?

    I'm just speaking from my own perspective, as one who likes to sort it all herself, and hearing that on here many of the women have felt frustrated because they *can't* have things, simple things like housework done, the way they like it, so it's your big day. From a logistics position, will this be possible without it significantly affecting your health?

    This procedure takes a lot out of the fittest women here, its exhausting and it can create emotional drain too.

    Could you have your surgery after your honeymoon?

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  • Posted

    Hi Emma, I am 8 weeks post op and throughout my recovery I have supposedly been planning my wedding. At least that was the expectation. That is not what has actually happened. This surgery and recovery consumes much more of your energy than you imagine.  It seems it would be a perfect time to plan right? You're off work and off your feet and have a computer at your disposal....unfortunately though for whatever reason your mind and body are just not in wedding planning mode, there are just too many other things going on in your body. You may be different but thats my experience. One other thing as far as intimacy goes...I am 8 weeks post op and wouldnt want to think about a honeymoon right now. Just so ething to consider, your experience may be entirely different.
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