Syphilis worry. Is this something else?

Posted , 2 users are following.

Hi. I was wondering if anyone can help or has any advice. Am i worrying unnecessarily?

I am a married man in the UK. Back in May this year I got drunk at a work do and did something stupid. For one night i got involved with a swinger who i had known for a while. she attends sex parties and does sex protected but oral without. She also has oral with women.

We did a lot of french kissing with tongues. She performed oral on me for about 10 seconds and i performed brief oral on her for about 45 seconds and analingus for anout ten seconds. I didnt notice any sores but then again i was drunk and not looking. Nothing more was done and i stopped it. Afterwards she mentioned in general conversation she had a sore throat.

A few days later i ordered an sti kit and did tests for gonorrhea, chlamidya, hiv and syphilis. i did the tests at the ten day mark.The whole episode was hugely stressing me out!

A day or two before my mouth got sore (8-10 days post exposure). On the sides like id been chewing it and also on the very tip of my tongue and also my throat was sore. This disappeared after a couple of weeks the fact i kept gargling with tcp probably didnt help. I couldnt see any real or obvious sores or lesions. couldnt see anything on the tip. Anyway a month or so later my wife complains of a sore mouth puts it down to being tired and run down and also a cold aore developson her lip and clears within a few days. I an now convinced i have contracted oral syphilis from this woman and passed it on to my wife and its causing me so much stress and anxiety.

I have had no symptoms since so no secondary symptoms, no rash no further lesions etc. I also did some research and on the UK in 2022 there were 2.2m sti screens done. Of that there were 8700 positive syphilis cases (0.04% of the screens) Of that 8700 69% were in MSM so men who have sex with men. This leaves approx 2700. I found a study saying only 14 % of primary syphilis cases present orally. 14% of 2697 = 378 ( If i was to have syphilis i am a hetro male and only presenting orally) So to summarise 378 of 2.2m is the most miniscule percentage it wont even show on a calculator as it is a small fraction

of 1%. I guess im asking the forum if my logic on associated risk is correct? And does this even sound like syphilis in the first place? I think the anxiety and guilt is probably playing a major part in this . Thanks so much for any responses. All my tests were negative at the ten day mark by the way.


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  • Posted

    you gotta just keep testing and let your wife know, if you cant contact this other person you gotta do jt to see if they have tested postive for anhthing. depending on wherw you are - Uk? - sh:24 are ljke a at home free std kit for syohilis and everything - might be an idea to continually gwt them so you know

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  • Posted

    also i would take std tests even after testing negative as time can tell - up to three months some take to appear on tests

    i do think guilt is gettkng to you and anxiety - mught be worth galking about if not to your wife a therapist or HCP or somerhing

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