Tapering Off Zoloft - My Story

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Like many others on this site and sites alike, I was able to better able to understand what to expect when responsibly tapering off my Zoloft. I wanted to take some time to write my experience. 

During my senior year of college, my Dad was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. We were very close. All the stressors quickly put me into a downward spiral. Knowing the importance of getting mental help quick, I spoke to my doctor right when I developed anxiety for the first time. I began having panic attacks and my mood drastically changed for the worst. Knowing I only have 12-15 months left with my father took a toll and fast.

My doctor diagnosed me with a situational adjustment disorder (moderate anxiety and depression). Due to the circumstances, this made so much sense. I began taking Zoloft to help with my symptoms (50mg). The medication helped a ton - although it did take a month to really kick in. My symptoms subsided for the most part, but I didn't feel back to being better so my doctor bumped up my script to 75mg daily - I stayed at this dose for the duration of my time taking the med. This was a little more than two years ago. 

Throughout my Dad's battle with cancer I continued taking the anti-depressant. It was a way for me to stay in school, be strong for my Dad, and keep my life on track. For 18 months I continued to stay to take Zoloft. My Dad passed about 12 months in and from the recommendation from my doctor I stayed with it for 6 months after.

There were reasons I wanted to eventually come off. For one, Zoloft flat lined my mood. I never had terrible crying bouts but at the same time I wasn't ever happier than ever (like the amazing feeling of getting out of work on a Friday, silly I know). Everything seemed felt the same. I still think this was the work of my medication. Although I was fine with it because there was no doubt the pros outweighed the cons. I've also heard the longer you stay on the med the harder it is to come off. So I wanted to start tapering off as soon as my doctor and I thought the probability of a successful taper to zero was high.

Once I felt well enough to start tapering (and had the approval from my doctor *important*), I knew it would be a hard journey. Just from everything I had read online. I had tried stopping cold turkey while traveling (not the smartest decision) and the withdrawal symptoms left me bedridden on the fourth day (until I started taking my dose again). Some people are able to come off much quicker than others. I found myself to be one of the unlucky ones that was extremely sensitive.

All in all, it took a grueling 14 weeks to down my dose to zero. I swear those were some of the worst weeks of my life (but it was worth it). I would cut my dose by 12.5mg every two weeks. The fourth day always seemed to be the worst for me. Days 4,5 and 6 were the toughest of each dose reduction. I had most of the typical systems: headaches, flu like symptoms, nausea, vertigo, night sweats, bad dreams, constipation, mild depression, irritability, electric shocks, pins and needles, you name it. Every two weeks I had to do it over again. I have to say that the best thing I did was mentally prepare for the difficult road ahead before the taper began.

I stuck to it (although always knowing my limit). Thankfully, I never felt mentally unstable enough to need to re-up my dose. This month marks 6 months of being free from Zoloft. I feel much better than when on the medication. My body is still getting used to being without it. Even after 6 months. I'm confident I'll feel better every month from now on, especially in the summer. Today I have more drive, get happier about things (and sadder), and feel more human than emotionless. That's priceless.

When reading this I know the whole thing just sounds awful. Much of it was. But when going through the really hard time of my Dad being sick, the Zoloft helped me soooo much. I wouldn't have changed taking the med for the time I did. It made the remaining time with my Dad better and less severe, but I think also made the recovery and mourning period longer. If you think about it, it makes sense. For me, this anit-depressant made things easier to deal with. Then when you take it away from your body, things get harder again and you have to relearn to deal with it "normally" (med free). I can say that today I'm 100% med free. A feat I never could see happening many days while relying on Zoloft.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. You can get better even if the withdrawals are terrible. It just might take time. A lot of time. Maybe even more than 14 weeks of tapering and several months of adjustment without the drug. It depends on your body and how long it takes to make more serotonin naturally. Strength and support from others to stay the course is also so important. I highly recommend getting counseling during the entire period of a major life event happening like I did. It can help in so many ways. 

Please take my story as just that, a story. I'm not a MD or DO. Our experience will likely be very different but I want you to know coming off this med is possible with the right circumstances and right mind set. You're not alone. Many people have gone through similar situations, are growing through them now, and have made it out okay. I wish you mental healthiness in the future if you are struggling with it today smile I did it and so can you. Just be sure you and your doc agree it's the right time.

Much love, Caleb

Male, 23

2 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Caleb, thank you for sharing your story.  I am happy for you that you are back to feeling the full range of human emotions naturally!  

    I attempted to go off Effexor last year after 12 years of use, and 10 months later I reinstated because the withdrawal was so bad.  Because withdrawal didn't start right away, I wasn't aware that what I was experiencing was withdrawal.  I am now tapering very slowly.

    All of this brought me to the support forum Surviving Antidepressants, where I learned that my experience was not at all rare, and that recovery from ADs involves a windows and waves pattern, where windows are periods of feeling good, and waves are the re-emergence of withdrawal symptoms.  It is not linear and often there is a honeymoon period for the first few months before more severe symptoms hit.  The 7-8 month mark is also a time where people get hit hard. 

    Hopefully, you won't get hit with any severe waves, but I just wanted to share that with you so that you aren't completely surprised if it does happen.  Because these waves can come up so far out, doctors say the patient has relapsed, especially when anxiety and depression are the withdrawal symptoms.  However, there are people who took these meds for reasons other than anxiety and depression (pain for one) who have severe deperssion and anxiety in withdrawal, so not relapse.

    Again, just wanted you to know that so that you don't think you have relapsed if it happens.  The waves can be pretty ugly, but they do pass, and awareness is half the battle, as you've already discovered.

    Good luck and continued healing!

    Betsy

    • Posted

      Hi Betsy,

      Thanks so much for the advice. I hadn't heard of this before so it's great information to have. Always I thought of it being more like a linear withdrawl so I'll keep an eye out for these waves that can hit people. Fingures crossed I don't have to go through this, but I also wouldn't be surprised if one snuck up on me!

      Thanks for the support and keep on rockin! 

       

  • Posted

    Well said Caleb!! Sometimes there is too much negativity, your positive outlook is great to see.
    • Posted

      I'm assuming you are referring to me, but my intentions are not to be a downer.  Caleb does have a wonderful, positive attitude that will carry him through this.  I do think it is important for people to know what might happen, though, so that they aren't totally blindsided if it does.  I don't see that as "being negative."  I have gone through this myself and I have read countless stories of the windows and waves pattern of withdrawal recovery.  For someone to have this happen without awareness can be terrifying and lead them to think they must be on these drugs for the rest of their lives.  My goal is to help prevent that.   

      Caleb, as I said, hopefully you will make it through with no further trouble and I will look forward to hearing such several months down the line :-)

    • Posted

      Hi Betsy no I wasn't actually referring to you but the forum itself as it appears most people come on to make negative comments about what the sertraline is doing and the terrible side effects sometimes putting people off before they have even started or giving up after a week. The end goal is to make yourself better and I think positive comments striving them to continue to take something even during the terrible side effects is that in the end most people will reach that goal. I can also appreciate your comments about being aware of the pitfalls and the rollercoaster that is involved in taking the sertraline.

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