Tapering Off Zoloft - My Story

Like many others on this site and sites alike, I was able to better able to understand what to expect when responsibly tapering off my Zoloft. I wanted to take some time to write my experience. 

During my senior year of college, my Dad was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. We were very close. All the stressors quickly put me into a downward spiral. Knowing the importance of getting mental help quick, I spoke to my doctor right when I developed anxiety for the first time. I began having panic attacks and my mood drastically changed for the worst. Knowing I only have 12-15 months left with my father took a toll and fast.

My doctor diagnosed me with a situational adjustment disorder (moderate anxiety and depression). Due to the circumstances, this made so much sense. I began taking Zoloft to help with my symptoms (50mg). The medication helped a ton - although it did take a month to really kick in. My symptoms subsided for the most part, but I didn't feel back to being better so my doctor bumped up my script to 75mg daily - I stayed at this dose for the duration of my time taking the med. This was a little more than two years ago. 

Throughout my Dad's battle with cancer I continued taking the anti-depressant. It was a way for me to stay in school, be strong for my Dad, and keep my life on track. For 18 months I continued to stay to take Zoloft. My Dad passed about 12 months in and from the recommendation from my doctor I stayed with it for 6 months after.

There were reasons I wanted to eventually come off. For one, Zoloft flat lined my mood. I never had terrible crying bouts but at the same time I wasn't ever happier than ever (like the amazing feeling of getting out of work on a Friday, silly I know). Everything seemed felt the same. I still think this was the work of my medication. Although I was fine with it because there was no doubt the pros outweighed the cons. I've also heard the longer you stay on the med the harder it is to come off. So I wanted to start tapering off as soon as my doctor and I thought the probability of a successful taper to zero was high.

Once I felt well enough to start tapering (and had the approval from my doctor *important*), I knew it would be a hard journey. Just from everything I had read online. I had tried stopping cold turkey while traveling (not the smartest decision) and the withdrawal symptoms left me bedridden on the fourth day (until I started taking my dose again). Some people are able to come off much quicker than others. I found myself to be one of the unlucky ones that was extremely sensitive.

All in all, it took a grueling 14 weeks to down my dose to zero. I swear those were some of the worst weeks of my life (but it was worth it). I would cut my dose by 12.5mg every two weeks. The fourth day always seemed to be the worst for me. Days 4,5 and 6 were the toughest of each dose reduction. I had most of the typical systems: headaches, flu like symptoms, nausea, vertigo, night sweats, bad dreams, constipation, mild depression, irritability, electric shocks, pins and needles, you name it. Every two weeks I had to do it over again. I have to say that the best thing I did was mentally prepare for the difficult road ahead before the taper began.

I stuck to it (although always knowing my limit). Thankfully, I never felt mentally unstable enough to need to re-up my dose. This month marks 6 months of being free from Zoloft. I feel much better than when on the medication. My body is still getting used to being without it. Even after 6 months. I'm confident I'll feel better every month from now on, especially in the summer. Today I have more drive, get happier about things (and sadder), and feel more human than emotionless. That's priceless.

When reading this I know the whole thing just sounds awful. Much of it was. But when going through the really hard time of my Dad being sick, the Zoloft helped me soooo much. I wouldn't have changed taking the med for the time I did. It made the remaining time with my Dad better and less severe, but I think also made the recovery and mourning period longer. If you think about it, it makes sense. For me, this anit-depressant made things easier to deal with. Then when you take it away from your body, things get harder again and you have to relearn to deal with it "normally" (med free). I can say that today I'm 100% med free. A feat I never could see happening many days while relying on Zoloft.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. You can get better even if the withdrawals are terrible. It just might take time. A lot of time. Maybe even more than 14 weeks of tapering and several months of adjustment without the drug. It depends on your body and how long it takes to make more serotonin naturally. Strength and support from others to stay the course is also so important. I highly recommend getting counseling during the entire period of a major life event happening like I did. It can help in so many ways. 

Please take my story as just that, a story. I'm not a MD or DO. Our experience will likely be very different but I want you to know coming off this med is possible with the right circumstances and right mind set. You're not alone. Many people have gone through similar situations, are growing through them now, and have made it out okay. I wish you mental healthiness in the future if you are struggling with it today I did it and so can you. Just be sure you and your doc agree it's the right time.

Much love, Caleb

Male, 23

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