Teen daughter with anxiety affecting everyone
Posted , 3 users are following.
Hello
I have a teen daughter with severe anxiety and panic attacks. She's had it for a year now and has been unable to go to school. I'm getting her help, she's now going to psychotherapy and on medication which is a positive move.
My daughter comes first before anything else, and this issue is putting a huge strain upon my marriage to a good man who isn't her father. Her anxiety is so bad that over the past few weeks I haven't been able to leave the house, apart from walking the dog. Even then, often she has to come with me. Obviously, this is what she needs at the moment, until the meds/therapy kicks in a bit and that's ok with me, even though it obviously causes problems with going to work meetings and generally leaving the house.I work from home so I can get around it, for now, at least. Again, she is my priority and that's fine, albeit it's restrictive. The very sad thing is that I was supposed to go on holiday with my husband next week to celebrate my birthday. This had already been postponed once because he caught covid the first time this was planned.It was supposed to be a holiday of a lifetime. I'm gutted, but I've resigned myself to it being just the way it is at the moment and it's nobody's fault. We just have to postpone it, again. My kids were going to stay with their father whilst me and my husband were away, but my daughter refuses to go with him and just wants to be with me. That's why we can't go now.
My husband is livid about this. He blames me and my ex husband for not 'sorting my daughter out' so that we could go away.I'm not sure I even want to be with him anymore after this. I definitely don't need his pressure on top of seeing my daughter struggle with her mental health and all of the struggles that comes with that. I can't manage his feelings plus my daughter (and trying to keep myself in a healthy state of mind) at the same time. Although I get he is angry, what's the point of it? It's just ruining our relationship and I have no energy left to try and save it.
Thanks for listening, I just wanted to write that all down as I feel so low.
1 like, 2 replies
lisa215 helen01355
Posted
Hello Helen
I'm afraid I can't offer much in the way of advice but I wanted to reach out anyway. Anxiety and depression are dreadful things, I've been battling this most of my adult life (I'm 52 now). The last year for me has been hell. Anxiety makes us see the world in a very different way and familiarity keeps us 'safe' but unfortunately it's emotionally draining on those around us. Anxious people are exhausting to be around, I see it in the face of my precious daughter and I hate myself. I think your daughter is feeling very lost and alone in the world at the moment but she's young and this will pass for her. I can see why your husband is frustrated but its no one's fault that she feels the way she feels and you, as her mum, will do everything you can to help her because that's what mum's do. I hope she starts to feel better soon and I hope things get better for you, its hard to deal with mental illness. Take care x
jan34534 helen01355
Posted
i’m sorry you are feeling so down. you are an awesome mother! Like you, my kids come before anyone else. I understand your husbands frustration however he needs to understand that anxiety and panic is a mental health condition that needs a lot of support especially during the acute phase . your daughter is in a crisis right now and she needs you. That’s great that she is getting some therapy and is on medication.
it would be great if your husband would be agreeable to speaking with a counselor so that he could understand what your daughter is going through and also what you are going through. I really hope that your relationship won’t be broken with him but I completely understand you putting your daughter first in this situation. it’s great that she has you as her mother ❤