Telling my significant other why I have PTSD and my anxiety is through the roof
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So I have finally decided to tell my s/o about my PTSD however he was completely unaware of the why I have it. Well... I had a really bad nightmare regarding my PTSD the other night and I just needed someone because I felt trapped and alone but I also hate bothering everyone and anyone no matter how clear it is made to me that I have people to go to. I informed my s/o about this nightmare and asked me to talk about it with him today and since last night my anxiety has been spiked. I have diagnosed clinical anxiety (just want to get that out of the way), and metaphorically speaking, I feel like my anxiety is screaming at me. Like, I don't have a physical voice yelling at me but I have the same deafening feeling as if I were being yelled at. My thoughts are clouded, my stomach is flipping, my hands are shaking, and my heart is running the Kentucky Durby. The same scared asf thoughts of him not looking at me the same way, touching me the same way, kissing me the same way, etc is haunting my thoughts. I haven't been this scared to tell anyone until now. Deep down.. I know this is something that needs to happen. Deep down, I know this is something that needs to happen. I've thought about different scenarios that he very well may end up being around me for, and if he doesn't know why I have PTSD, he might not be able to help. What if I wake up from a nightmare and im hypervenalating and becoming scared Im reliving it and the flashbacks are severe. What if Im in public completely fine one moment, then on the floor in a ball hugging my knees crying my eyes out. What if.. we're watching tv or a movie and I become triggered and I ask to leave. He won't be able to know what to do.. if he doesn't know why im freaking out...
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sam18386 shadow1616
Posted
Hi Shadow, you have taken a MASSIVE step and for that alone you should really congratulate yourself. It's so hard to live with PTSD, it's even harder to share it with anyone, the closest person to you being the most difficult. You have broken your silent agony, which is part of the battle. PTSD cuts through all relationships, it doesn't matter what reason why. You need to now be fair to your s/o and go and seek help. PTSD is much more recognised and there's lots of help out there for it. I wish you luck finding support that suits you. If like me it's sadly to do with assault or abuse like mine is, there are places like rape crisis that can definitely help. Counselling might help or you could ask for EMDR, this deals directly with assault. Good luck and got get yourself a treat you brave person.